The Tall Poppy Syndrome

The Tall Poppy Syndrome
by Michael Webb Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

In Australia there is a phrase "the tall poppy syndrome." It describes the condition when a person is uncomfortable if one flower raises its head too far above the rest. They think it looks unnatural, so what do they do - they cut it down to the level of the other flowers.

Do you have the same habit with your loved ones? Some people have the hardest time letting others take some praise. If our coworker gets a promotion we tease them about what devious things they did to get it. If our brothers and sisters brought home better report cards we discounted the difficulty of the classes they took. We find it hard to accept that some people are going to naturally rise above others. That person might even be a spouse who makes more money, has a better physique, more friends, or is better educated.

We also have this nasty habit of cutting down all the poppies around us if we are feeling particularly low about ourselves. I remember when my sister made a rude comment about my thinning hair so I launched back an equally unkind comment about her thickening waist. We could have acted more maturely and watered each other with kind comments and encouraging remarks, but ignorantly we were tearing up the flower garden so no one could enjoy its beauty.

Do you like to insult (talk trash, 'dis, cut, slice) others? Does it make you feel like your poppy has grown higher? My personal peeve is when spouses spout insults about each other in front of their friends. They think their clever but insulting remarks will make their flower look prettier but in reality your mate's flower is wrapped around yours. If you cut theirs down, yours will be butchered too. Whoever came up with the "sticks and stones" phrase wasn't very bright. Insults are verbal sticks and stones and they can tear up a field of beautiful poppies in no time.

Should You Trade Up? by Michael Webb

o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~



SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS


Should You Trade Up?

by Michael Webb
Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships order today at:
http://www.TheRomantic.com/50secrets.htm


Athena and I have never had a car payment. Our current vehicles
are 6 years old and our previous car was a 13 year old Honda Civic
that ran just fine until the final few months.

When our Honda Civic was getting up in age (and didn't look so
shiny) we have had friends and family ask us point blank "when are
you going to get a new car" and tell us "certainly you can afford
something new". Yes, we can afford just about any car that we
could possibly desire. But no, we don't have any plans on trading
in our perfectly fine Honda for something new(er) simply to impress
others. Yes, when safety or reliability become a factor, we'll be
shopping for something else.

I find it curious, but not surprising that every person who has
suggested that we upgrade our car has been divorced at least once.

Back in 1988 Diamond Cutters International conducted a poll asking
women if they would ever consider trading in their engagement ring
for a bigger, better diamond. 46% of the respondents said yes.

Fifteen years later, these same women have been polled again.
Of those who were willing to trade up, 81% are now divorced.
And what about those sentimental ladies who would never trade in
their original ring? 78% are still married.

Are you the type of person who wants a new car every few years and
sees each raise as an opportunity to move to a bigger house? Are you
easily bored with the latest gadget you bought just a year ago?
Do you always have to have the best television among your peers?
If so, studies have shown that you have a much greater chance of
being tempted to "trade-up" spouses too.

Learn to appreciate what you have and don't be so quick to want to
get the latest model. Otherwise it might REALLY cost you.

Fast Food Love by Michael Webb

Fast Food Love
by Michael Webb Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships order
today at: http://www.TheRomantic.com/50secrets.htm

I read a news story a few weeks ago about a school that bucked
the system and tossed out the pizzas and french fries and other
kid-friendly food from its cafeteria and reintroduced healthy meals
that faded away over the last few decades.

At first, there was a big uproar. The kids wanted their fast
food back and others were worried about the significant increase
in cost for the home made, healthy food they were now serving in
the cafeteria. But something miraculous happened.

The kids now behave. The hallways aren't frantic. Even the teachers
are happy.

The school used to be out of control. Kids packed
weapons. Discipline problems swamped the principal's office.
But not since 1997.

Since then there have been zero expulsions, no suicides, not one
person caught doing drugs or carrying weapons. The fake food in
the cafeteria was replaced with real food and the vending machines
were carted away. And what a difference it made.

When kids are healthy their attitudes and dispositions change.

Now let's talk about love. Over the last few decades we've slowly
introduced so much fake love into our relationship diet that it has
now become the staple for many couples. Most people don't even
know what real, healthy love is these days. We no longer have
the patience to build love from scratch. We want fast-food love.
It's instantly gratifying even though it might make us sick in the
long run. Men and women don't want a courtship. They want to jump
straight from infatuation to intimacy. And we've got a lot of sick
relationships as a result.

While there is *some* nutrition in fast food, if it is your steady
diet, you are bound to suffer in the future.

Here are some examples of fast-food love: • Expensive gifts •
Quick physical intimacy • Flirting • Time together in silence
(like watching movies) • Dreaming about fantasies • Infatuation
("loving" someone you don't *really* know yet)

Healthy, nutritious love: • Serving each other • Sacrificing for
one another • Little gifts, just because • Regular, meaningful
conversations • Long physical intimacy with your spouse •
Planning together for the future • Commitment to someone you
really know

Is it any coincidence that as we introduce more and more fast-food
love into our relationships that they become more and more unhealthy
and the divorce rate keeps climbing?

Consider your own relationship. What does your diet look like? Maybe
its time to cut back on the fast-food love and start introducing
more healthy forms on love into your relationship (or get out of a
relationship that does not have healthy love). Yes, it takes more
time and energy, but the results are well worth it. And don't forget
that your real diet has a direct impact on your relationships just
as we saw what happened to the school children. Maybe its time to
start eating healthy too.