Truly Caring

Legendary American actor, Al Pacino, in an interview for Esquire, said, "We were in New York, filming the burial of Don Corleone. We'd shot all day. It's six at night and I'm going home. I see Francis Coppola sitting on the gravestone, and he's crying. Literally bawling. 'Francis,' I say. 'What's happened? What's the matter?' And he says, 'They won't give me another setup.' Meaning, they wouldn't let him shoot the scene again. So he's sitting on the gravestone crying, and I thought, This guy is going to make a movie here. If he's got that kind of passion, that kind of feeling about one setup--that was the moment. I could feel it. This guy truly cares. And that's it. That's the way to live--around people who care."

 Yesterday I sat in a large meeting room where the subject was public education. Several very powerful observations were shared, but not everyone heard them. Had more people truly understood what was said, more people would have been engaged and, who knows, something more than talk might have occurred. 

 Not everyone cares enough to truly listen and get involved. At times it seems to me that we are living in a sea of preoccupied, self-centered people. Their bodies are present, yet their minds are not. And, they even believe that other people don't notice. What a powerful insult they're delivering, and they don't even care. 

 I agree with Al Pacino about being around caring people. I am going to spend more time with people who truly know how to listen, love to openly and honestly engage, and have more to share than typical small talk. 

 In the very short span of time we call our life, the most rewarding moments we will ever have are when we are sitting with someone who truly cares about us, knows how to listen and knows how to point out one of our faults without hurting our feelings. These special people are truly rare. Yet, without their help we can easily walk off a cliff without evening seeing it.

 

 Assuming you want a full and rewarding life, please never forget that honest feedback is required to get there. Therefore, hold tight to the truly caring people and allow the rest to slip away. 

Dick Warn

NEW Link to the Mystical Mentor web page. Helpful self-help Books. 5 Steps to More Effective Days - FREE REPORT Link to The Miracle Minute web page. Link to Dick's books. NEW REPORT - Employee Performance Evaluation Click here ...... To send an Email to Dick Warn

"Think what it would be like to go about your day with your mind filled only with happy and loving thoughts..."

"Think what it would be like to go about your day with your mind filled only with happy and loving thoughts. Everyone you meet has a smile and a glow of happiness about him or her. There is no sickness, no hunger, no conflict or lack, no time and no death. Peace has replaced fear everywhere. This is our world when forgiveness has come and we are free to love again."  - The Miracle of Real Forgiveness by Tom Carpenter

The Forgiveness Movement

Mother's Day: Honoring Our Many Mothers

Mother's Day: Honoring Our Many Mothers

By Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat

We are aware that to some people, Mother's Day seems to be a holiday concocted by the greeting card and floral companies, a cultural holiday dominated by consumer pressures. For those whose mothers have died or are distant, and for those who have never been mothers, the day touches other sensitivities. But we think any "problem" with Mother's Day is just because typically it is defined too narrowly. There are many mothers in all our lives and many kinds of mothering experiences.

Here, then, for that very special day, Mother's Day, are spiritual practices to honor our many mothers.

1. GOD'S GIFT (FOR SONS AND DAUGHTERS)

In a song titled "Mother's Eyes," Willie Nelson sings: "God's gift sent from above / A real unselfish love, / I find in my mother's eyes." Create a gift for your mother to express your gratitude for her unconditional love. Remember to also thank God for this unsurpassable gift to you.

2. MOTHER'S HEART (FOR MOTHERS)

"The mother's heart," Henry Ward Beecher once noted, "is the child's schoolroom." Share with someone near and dear to you a few of the important spiritual lessons from your heart that you have passed on to your children — or that you want to pass on to your children.

3. MOTHER MOVIES

Rent a video about the challenges and rewards of motherhood. Here are a few suggestions: The Dollmaker, Places in the Heart, Terms of Endearment, Little Women, Postcards from the Edge, Stepmom, Anywhere But Here.

4. HOLY MOTHER

In India, women who are profoundly compassionate, nurturing, and wise are publicly acknowledged by the title "Holy Mother." Recall a woman you know or have known who qualifies to be addressed as "Holy Mother." Write a description of what you admire about her in your journal. Tristine Rainer in The New Diary notes: "By writing diary portraits of people who intrigue you, you enter their qualities in your book, in your space, and begin the process of recognizing and taking posesssion of those qualities."

5. ADDRESS THE DEITY AS MOTHER

Sri Ramakrishna, the great Hindu spiritual sage, wrote: "Why does the God-lover find such ecstatic delight in addressing the Deity as Mother? Because the child is more free with the mother than with anybody else, and consequently she is dearer to it than anybody else." Try using one or more of the following honorific titles for God: Mother of the World, Mother-God, Goddess, Sophia, Shekinah, Queen of Heaven, Tender Nursing Mother, Gentle One, Wise Old Crone. Gather other names and images of the Divine Feminine that speak to you. Incorporate some of them into your devotions over he next few weeks or months as an ongoing Mother's Day practice.

6. CONTEMPLATE IMAGES OF GOD THE MOTHER

Meinrad Craighead has painted images of motherhood in its many forms. She explains: "The creative spirit I know within me has the face and the force of a woman. She is my Mother, my Mothergod, my Generatrix, the divine immanence I experience signified in all of creation." Forty paintings, including Garden, are reproduced in The Mother's Songs: Images of God the Mother along with brief meditations by the artist on each of them. You can also see her work and purchase prints at the artist's website: www.meinradcraighead.com. Sit with these paintings and experience the creative spirit and force of the Mother.

7. HOLY MOTHER EARTH

Many Native Americans have hallowed the Good Earth as the mother who gave us birth and still takes care of us. A Winnebago wise saying goes: "Holy Mother Earth, the trees, and all nature are witnesses to your thoughts and deeds." Find a ritual way to honor Mother Earth and the bounties she supplies. Follow up with a concrete act to support the Earth, such as helping to clean up or protect an area of your environment.

8. MOTHERS OF GOD

In Wrestling with the Prophets Matthew Fox writes: "What does God do all day long? Eckhart asks. God gives birth. 'From all eternity God lies on a maternity bed giving birth. The essence of God is birthing. We are all meant to be mothers of God.' " Meditate upon this understanding that we are all meant to give birth to the Divine One. How and when do you do this in your daily life?

9. HONOR ALL YOUR MOTHERS

"If you consider as kind the mother who carried you in her womb, how can you dislike any being? For in countless past lifetimes all have been your mother," wrote the Seventh Dalai Lama in Meditations to Transform the Mind. As you walk around on Mother's Day, try to imagine that all of the people you meet have at some point been your mother. Send them love and peace and happiness.
10. MOTHERING

The most common word association with mothering is nurturing — and this practice is not limited by gender or any other characteristic. All of us, male and female, single or married, old or young, have the potential to give birth and raise something in the world. In a prayer written for Mother's Day, Pamela Spence Bakker used the following images. Choose those you most identify with and reflect in your journal or in conversation about which you identify with.

Some of us give birth to:
• children
• ideas
• art
• music

Some of us raise:
• animals
• flowers or vegetables
• our friends
• our parents
• our brothers and sisters
• interest in a cause
• money for charity
• concerns
• our voices against injustice
• our eyebrows
• Cain

To respond or to react, that's the question.

To respond or to react, that's the question.
By Pam Thomas
Phoenix Life Coach Examiner

Think about the last time you were involved in a discussion or argument where you reacted. How did you show up in that exchange? Prickly? Angry? Defensive? Powerless? Personally, when I am being reactive I become susceptible to all sorts of negativity.

As a matter of fact, I have to raise my hand and admit that I have fallen prey to the guiles of victimhood/reactive-ness most recently. I allowed someone else’s poor behavior and negativity to throw me into a bit of tizzy. (What a tizzy it was too with f-bombs included.) Fortunately, during my little visit to the dungeons of victimhood/reactive-ness I remembered something very important; I have a choice as to whether or not I want to allow someone else’s crap behavior (which I have no control over) to impact me. I also came to the realization that the negativity that was making my heart heavy and zapping my power was also leaving me susceptible to getting sucked into further drama, chaos, and unhealthiness of the situation.

The bottom line; when we don't react, we detach from the negative charge. We hold on to our own personal power, a.k.a we don't allow something or someone else to make us feel small or insignificant or worse yet a victim to the circumstances.
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So here are few things to try when you find yourself reacting rather than responding:

During "heated" times try taking a deep breath, sit quietly for a moment, and give yourself that time to settle your emotions. Doing something as simple as breathing deeply will help you to come from that place of responsiveness where words are chosen with care and thoughts are clearer.

If you have to, excuse yourself from the conversation by letting the other person know that you would like to table the discussion and give it some thought.

Allow your emotions or the signals of your body (i.e. tension) to serve as your trigger and then ask yourself the following question, “What do I choose right now?” When you remember that you have a choice, you take back your own personal power to respond.

Whatever you choose it can be truly liberating and rather powerful to come from a place of responsiveness rather than reactive-ness. In addition, you avoid the drama and chaos and experience much more peace and positive well-being so here's to the power of responding.

best definition of love, part 2

best definition of love, part 2
Abraham-Hicks

So we would say the best definition of love is awareness of self and its determined decision to be in complete alignment with that which is Source, that which is who I truly am. And appreciating every rascal who challenges it, and makes it more and more important for me to do that.

Love is not looking at despicable and unlovable, and loving it. Love is the discipline to know that if there is a question, there is an answer. And if there is the unwanted, there is the wanted. And having the self-discipline to focus into the vortex where the solutions are.

Denver 9/11/10

Being Careful

Being Careful
Tammy Saltzman

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dreams." - Lao Tzu

Tip 56 is on Being Careful. Are you someone who tends to be careful and cautious or are you someone that jumps in with both feet and throws caution to the wind? There is a good argument for both perspectives. Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word careful as follows, "acting or working in a thoughtful, painstaking way; cautious, wary, or guarded." And the word carefree as, "free from troubles or worry." I do believe that there is a time to be careful and a time to be carefree. Feeling carefree is a gift that we should all enjoy whenever we can and it is usually a reward that we get from being careful. Ben Franklin once said, "Distrust and caution are the parents of security." It is only when we feels most secure that we can throw caution to the wind and enjoy a carefree moment.

As a lawyer it is really my job to look for all the things that can go wrong. It is our job as attorneys to let our clients know what is their worst case scenario. We are trained to look at the upside and weight it against the downside. It is our job to make sure that the client knows the worst possible outcome of each decision they make so that they can make an educated decision. I try hard not to be this pessimistic in my real world, but when a client pays you to play the devils advocate it is our ethical responsibility to perform. Ralph Waldo Emerson will remind us, "A man is usually more careful of his money that he is of his principles."

In business we are always cautious. Buying businesses, taking in partners, hiring employees, and securing vendors. It's a risky business out there and checking out the reputation of the people we do business with makes perfect sense. With today's technology everyone's information is just a click away on Google. The Better Business Bureau and Daily Business Review have all their records available on line. Court records and deeds are all public documents that are now available on line at most court houses throughout the United States. When is comes to financial matters we need to be as careful as possible. Not only do we consult our lawyers, but we now consult our CPA's, financial planners, and our estate planners. Unfortunately, no matter how careful we are are many of life's lessons end up costing us money. Do your best to try and learn the expensive lessons from the mistakes of others. Remember this by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Every step of life shows much caution is required." I think that is another way of saying the older we get the more jaded we become.

As a parent I am always cautioning my children to be careful. We start when they are very young. Don't touch the stove, look both ways when you cross. Be careful!! We are worried for our children and don't want them to get hurt. Even as adults our parents are worried and still tell us to be careful. Adam's mom Joan just told him to be careful when he told her all about me this past week. I have heard the same advice as well from my well meaning friends and family. Joan doesn't know me and my friends don't know Adam, but everyone says the same thing, "We are so happy for you. Go slow, be careful." When it comes to matters of the heart it is so much harder to be careful. The excitement and the hope take over and just sweep you off your feet. Aren't we all looking for ever lasting love?? Bertrand Russell once said, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." Yet e.e.Cummings reminds us, "Be of love a little more careful than of anything." I would like to think that what he meant was that once you find love be careful with it, preserve it and cherish it so that you don't lose it. Sorry Joan, it's too late - if it doesn't work out it will probably hurt, but if it does work out - G-d bless and thank you Lisa.

“It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution." - Alvin Toffler

drop 36: the ultimate thermostat

drop 36: the ultimate thermostat

Our own self image, belief, or esteem is just like our heating and cooling thermostats – it’s a cybernetic system. Interesting that in the 1960’s Maxwell Maltz wrote Psycho Cybernetics. I read it then and what struck me was that Maltz was a plastic surgeon and he noted that people with facial disfigurations, when repaired, they still saw themselves as though the disfigurations were still present.



Here is an example of how this works. I’ve chosen children and report cards, yet this works for each of us, no matter what age.

1. We set the thermostat to keep the house warm or cool at 70 degrees.
1. A child's grades over a period of time are average. This is what his report card reflects. This is what his teachers tell him. This is what his parents tell him. His work is average.

2. Someone comes into the house and leaves the front door open in winter.
2. Parents offer incentives for the child to do better and, he is temporarily inspired.

3. Signal goes to furnace to turn it on to bring the temp back to 70.
3. Inspired child works hard with some results for a short period of time.

4. When 70 degrees is restored, signal tells furnace to shut off.
4. Before long the child loses temporary inspiration and goes back to his average behavior.

To change the 'set point' as to what a child believes he can accomplish, it takes spaced repetitive and consistent feeding of information that says the child is better than average. Since most parents are simply unaware of how their own and their child's self esteem is built, they do not even know what they have done to build that image ... nor what they can do to reverse it.

As we are all born with infinite potential, it is a pity to see and hear that a child's image of himself is average (or less than average).

The 'setting' of the image can come in words like "that was stupid," "you weren't thinking," "these are terrible grades," "can't you do any better," "your brother got all A's," and so on and so forth. The more times a child hears these things, the more 'locked in' self image becomes.

Is it true -- that he is average (or that we are)? Of course it is not. But what we believe, is the truth for us. We never outperform our own self image. This is likely THE biggest reason why only a very few people are really successful. If you don't believe you can be, you will not be. I address this very issue specifically in my Think & Grow Rich mastermind studies and in my new program for communities and schools, Style & Mindset.

Wishing you a safe, warm and industrious holiday season with results in the new year that are bigger and better than ever before!

Leslie Flowers

Prosperity Consciousness or Bargain Consciousness?

Happiness Just Ahead

A very good question was posted on a Feel Free to Prosper forum...

I thought this was an excellent subject to share with you as I have no doubt that in an economy like the current one, this subject is probably on the minds of many who desire to maintain a prosperity consciousness when outer appearances support the opposite.

The Question:

"I consider myself a good shopper: use coupons, wait for sales, buy generic, etc. But are these smart shopper "actions" sending a bad signal to my subconscious? After all, the message I want to send is "I can afford anything (at any price)." How about it, do we have to be as careful with our actions as we are with our words?"


My Answer:

What a wonderful opportunity to express my views relating to prosperity consciousness vs. bargain consciousness . . .

On the subject of sales and bargains, there is something magical that happens when you acquire a prosperity mindset.

One of the great perks of acquiring a prosperity consciousness is that savings and discounts of all kinds will follow YOU on the path. When we are connected to our Universal Source, suddenly it seems like the Universe becomes your personal shopper whose goal is to provide you with the best for your needs at the very best price. You no longer have to shop to seek the best prices - no comparison shopping, no bargain hunting. Discounts and savings seek you and appear before you spontaneously as if you are the elite member of a private wholesale club. Except that the savings you attract are often far below wholesale!

This is not to be confused with a kind of "bargain" mentality that is based on lack and the fear of not having enough. The spontaneous manifesting of savings — the real bargains — come when we accept prosperity as natural to us and we know that the Universe is providing for all our needs. It's a joyful experience. We attract bargains at the highest possible level. We are intuitively led to the right place at the right time.

Let me share just a few of my numerous experiences of being spontaneously guided in this way to 'Universal' size bargains …

I have always loved beautiful, fine quality handbags.

One year I walked into Nordstrom's department store and found an absolutely gorgeous black leather and leopard print handbag. It was extremely expensive looking, but I didn't recognize the designer name. The attached sales tag showed the price of $135 — not at all unreasonable for such a beautiful bag. It was the only one of its kind in the department. I had to have it. I handed it to the saleswoman but she looked at the tag and told me she couldn't sell it to me. She said this designer's bags sold for at least $500 or $600 and this one must have been mislabeled. Although the label was attached, she believed she was justified in refusing to sell it. The department manager wouldn't be in until the following day. We arranged for the saleswoman to put the handbag on hold and have the manager call me to give me the correct price.

The next day, the department manager called and told me the price of the handbag was $600. But since the attached tag read $135, she told me that by store policy, she had to sell the bag for the labeled price. She invited me to come and purchase my bag for $135!

I have found that expensive handbags stay new looking for years and that one still looks beautiful to this day

Another year I found an elegant Donna Karan Couture clutch handbag in a department store. It was $900 — way beyond the price I chose to spend. But I had a "hunch" to ask the saleswoman if the bag might go on sale in the near future. For some unknown reason, she looked over the bag very carefully and found an imperceptible tiny flaw hidden in a fold that no one would ever see. I certainly would not have found it. But she said that since it had that tiny flaw, she had the authority to sell it to me at half price! I never asked for this. She offered. Another beautiful bag I still use that receives many compliments.

One of my most striking experiences was the purchase of an entire collection of Villory & Boch dinnerware. I didn't set out to buy a collection — I intended to buy a few place settings of the gorgeous Plantation and Tropical Collection, which was on sale in a department store's catalogue. But when I called to place the phone order, the store had none in stock. I discovered that particular pattern had been discontinued by the manufacturer and any remaining items in circulation were selling at up to 80% off retail prices. I jumped on the opportunity and using only the telephone, I was guided to manifest the entire collection from several stores around the nation. The retail cost of the collection: over $7,000. The price I paid for everything: Under $1,500. This included not only ten settings of the dinnerware, but all of the accent pieces, accessories, flatware and bake ware.

Another time I was shopping for a specific item of sleepwear and didn't intend to buy anything else. But I was irresistibly drawn to a sale rack where I found two beautiful Ralph Lauren casual pieces — top and bottom — in my favorite shade of red. They were the only two items of that kind, both in my size and they fit perfectly. They were marked down half price but I loved the outfit so much I would have paid full price. When the items were rung up at the register, the saleswoman informed me that the half-price tag was incorrect. Instead, they scanned at $6.52 each!

A major coup was when the Universe literally handed me a beautiful new car and opened the door for me to purchase it — brand new - for about $10,000 less than retail.

Do I look for bargains? No. Do I love a bargain? Yes!

As a prosperity thinker, expect these surprises to show up in every area of your life and business — for everyday needs as well as luxury items.

The Universe is your personal shopper :-)

by Marilyn Jenett

Distinctive Ring Tones

Distinctive Ring Tones


So we see, to play successfully the game of life, we must train the imaging faculty. A person with an imaging faculty trained to image only good, brings into his life "every righteous desire of his heart" - health, wealth, love, friends, perfect self-expression, his highest ideals.

— Florence Scovel Shinn


In the film Tin Cup, Kevin Costner’s character proclaims, “When the defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you.” We have been led to believe that life determines who we are, when at every moment we determine what our life is.

One strong metaphor for attuning to your unique guidance is the cell phone. Most people have a unique cell phone ring tone. We choose melodies and songs that we enjoy and that represent our unique taste and style. When cell phones first became popular, there were no distinctive tones, so when I stood in line at an airport, for example, a cell phone would ring and five people would each reach for their phone, in case someone was calling them. Now the rings are so distinctive that you reach for your call and not someone else’s.

Your soul’s calling also has a distinct tone. When your inner voice speaks to you it bestows a feeling of peace, ease, flow, aliveness, and a sense of coming home. By contrast, the voice of the ego, or fear, is burdensome, demanding, and disquieting. When considering whether to hearken to a voice within you, test its frequency. Is it broadcasting from fear, or love? Practice picking up the phone for love calls and refuse to answer the fear calls. As a Chasidic sage nobly stated, “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.”



Do you recognize the frequency of your own true inner voice?

Considering a decision before you, what does the voice of love say to you?


I listen to the my own true voice and I act on it with confidence.

I am always guided to my greater good.



Wisdom for Today © 2010 by Alan Cohen www.alancohen.com

The Gandhi Rap - be the change u want to see

Presentation on Gandhi's Life with Gandhi rap sung by MC Yogi

Why Do Pencils Have Erasers? Why Do Computers Have Delete and Backspace Keys?

Why Do Pencils Have Erasers?
Why Do Computers Have Delete and Backspace Keys?

One of my favorite anonymous quotes on perfectionism is “No one is perfect; that’s why pencils have erasers.” A recent review of the literature on perfectionism showed two distinct kinds. Normal perfectionism is a “sense of pleasure from painstaking effort and desire to excel while feeling free to be as less precise as the situation demands.” There is a standard of excellence without the neurotic excessive worrying.

Neurotic perfectionists spend a lot of time spinning their wheels and scolding themselves or others! They fall apart and sink into low self-esteem if they make a mistake. They hold the erroneous belief that perfectionism will automatically bring rewards but it only generates worry and grief.

Neurotic perfectionists usually have a higher list of shoulds that they try to impose on their partners and children. Perfectionism is learned behavior; people who had critical, perfectionistic parents learn to be judgmental themselves. They can become angry when their own needs are not met.

Neurotic perfectionistic beliefs have the highest of expectations that cannot be gained. People who are critical and controlling of others because of their unusually high standards have high anxiety and irritability within. They try to keep their nervous feelings down by trying to control the environment and the people in it. They harbor faulty beliefs that certain people are bad, stupid, evil, or do things wrong and it is their moral duty to correct them. They try to impose their values on others in order to keep their own nervous feelings at bay.

Critical statements start with the word “You” followed by an accusation and the insistence that someone else is doing something wrong. They are blame statements. They are all a form of the need for control which insists that “I get to tell you what to do.” Loss of connection and intimacy is always a by-product of the shoulds and demands of perfectionism.

My Critical Part has been Out Lately

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor,” said Anne Lamott. Here is an exercise to help you look at your patterns of judgment and criticism. Write out the answers to help identify your beliefs that make you a controlling person.

One area that I criticize my partner/friend/child is:

When I feel that my needs are not met in this area, the unhealthy ways that I cope are:

What can I do to release my irrational idea that my happiness depends on you changing?

I am willing to observe and examine my behaviors that I’m upset with in you such as:

I pay attention. I interrupt my critical thoughts and words by: (Observation, introspection and meditation, Thought stoppage, The Emotional Freedom Technique, Deep breathing, etc.)

I perceive that others have criticized me for:

Some of the criticism is just. I am willing to acknowledge that I:

I am willing to observe and examine these behaviors that are upsetting to others:

When you come to the fork in the road after an upsetting incident, you can go to blaming or to problem solving. So look to your beliefs and how they make you miserable or contented. The need to control another person’s actions can be understood, analyzed and channeled into higher-level responses which promote healthy interactions for all involved. The next time that you have an unrealistic expectation of someone and a subsequent angry outburst, ask yourself two questions. Am I just acting out of perfectionistic habit needs? Did my action celebrate life or harm life?

Remember, if you reach for the stars and beat yourself up for not getting them, you will end up clutching at air and being pretty darned depressed!

Challenge your negative thoughts and impractical and unworkable demands. Anytime you do something to calm yourself instead of running the turmoil created by your critical nature ego, you are doing affect regulation. Anytime you tell yourself something helpful, you are doing positive self-talk and Thought Stoppage, thus increasing self-esteem. Yeah! You are on the road to positive thinking and living. Author Wayne Dyer says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Working your mind works. It only works when you work it!

Peace and joy,

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010



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Ideas taken from the research article, The destructiveness of perfectionism. Implications for the treatment of depression, by Prof. Sidney J. Blatt and The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-defeat (article) by David D. Burns.


My book, Good Bye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings: EFT for Kids of All Ages has a companion book. Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children: Fifty Fun Activities for Parents, Teachers and Therapists gives lesson plans plus EFT tapping statements. Go to http://members.aol.com/AngriesOut/newbooks.htm#ouchies to order the set of both books at a discounted rate.

The Tall Poppy Syndrome

The Tall Poppy Syndrome
by Michael Webb Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

In Australia there is a phrase "the tall poppy syndrome." It describes the condition when a person is uncomfortable if one flower raises its head too far above the rest. They think it looks unnatural, so what do they do - they cut it down to the level of the other flowers.

Do you have the same habit with your loved ones? Some people have the hardest time letting others take some praise. If our coworker gets a promotion we tease them about what devious things they did to get it. If our brothers and sisters brought home better report cards we discounted the difficulty of the classes they took. We find it hard to accept that some people are going to naturally rise above others. That person might even be a spouse who makes more money, has a better physique, more friends, or is better educated.

We also have this nasty habit of cutting down all the poppies around us if we are feeling particularly low about ourselves. I remember when my sister made a rude comment about my thinning hair so I launched back an equally unkind comment about her thickening waist. We could have acted more maturely and watered each other with kind comments and encouraging remarks, but ignorantly we were tearing up the flower garden so no one could enjoy its beauty.

Do you like to insult (talk trash, 'dis, cut, slice) others? Does it make you feel like your poppy has grown higher? My personal peeve is when spouses spout insults about each other in front of their friends. They think their clever but insulting remarks will make their flower look prettier but in reality your mate's flower is wrapped around yours. If you cut theirs down, yours will be butchered too. Whoever came up with the "sticks and stones" phrase wasn't very bright. Insults are verbal sticks and stones and they can tear up a field of beautiful poppies in no time.

Feeling Good and the Law of Attraction by Wendy Betterini

Feeling Good and the Law of Attraction by Wendy Betterini

The more we learn about using the Law of Attraction consciously in
our lives, the more we understand that our emotional state
determines our vibrational frequency, which attracts the quality of
experiences we have. With this knowledge comes the understanding
that feeling good (happy, joyful, enthusiastic, optimistic) will
attract more of the same into our lives.

But is it really possible to feel good all the time? How do we deal
with life's little (and not so little) annoyances? Are we supposed
to live in a state of denial and take on a Pollyanna attitude? What
about the devastating life experiences that shake us to our core,
such as the death of a loved one or a natural disaster? How is it
possible to remain in a positive emotional state when laboring
under feelings of grief and despair?

The short answer is: it's not only difficult, but also detrimental
to us to do so.

Our feelings are real. Trying to deny them or smooth them over with
blanket statements of positive focus won't help us resolve them at
a core level. Instead, it's important to honor our feelings and
work through them in a positive and productive manner. How? By
admitting that we feel rotten, and allowing ourselves to feel that
way. It's okay to feel angry, sad, or hurt when something awful
happens!

The best gift we can give ourselves is the opportunity to feel our
feelings, genuinely and deeply. When you feel sad about something,
let yourself feel sad. Embrace the feelings, and move through them.
Write in a journal about why you're sad, and express the feelings
rising up within you. Write out your rage, your pain, your grief.
Scream your fury to the universe. It is only by moving through your
feelings that you can come out of them eventually.

Having said that, we must also reach a point when we choose to step
out of our misery and feel hopeful again. We must eventually turn
our focus to thoughts of healing and peace. Continuing to stay
mired in pain for an excessive amount of time can be just as
detrimental as denying our pain altogether. What is considered an
"excessive" amount of time? Only you can say. Your grief process
might last a few days, or a few years. Simply stay tuned in to
yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and you'll know when you're
beginning to move out of the grief process.

What about the smaller annoyances we deal with on a daily basis?
This is the more common struggle for most of us. How do we stay
positive when facing traffic jams, rude people, misbehaving
children, inconsiderate spouses, demanding bosses, financial
challenges, and repeated feelings of frustration that we just can't
seem to get it together?

Though these experiences seem overwhelming, they are actually the
most simple to deal with if you shift your perspective slightly.
The best tool I've discovered for dealing with frustration is the
ability to choose what I focus on.

Let's use an example to demonstrate this concept. Let's say you're
running late for work and you have an important meeting to attend
when you get there. You dash to your car, praying for a quick, easy
ride to work so you can be on time for your meeting. Shortly after
you leave home, you run into a big traffic jam. Cars are moving
slower than molasses, and you sit there behind the wheel feeling
angry and frustrated because you know you're going to be late for
your meeting, which will bring on some unpleasant comments from
your boss, and probably ruin your chances for the promotion you
were hoping to get. The more you follow this line of thought, the
more angry and frustrated you will become. So what can you do to
turn this situation around?

Here are the techniques I've found most helpful in frustrating
circumstances:

1) Intend a different outcome. Remember that your focus will
attract a corresponding result! You're already stuck in the traffic
jam, so denying it would be futile. However, does the existence of
a traffic jam have to bring about the negative consequences you
envisioned? Not necessarily. You are making assumptions about what
this experience will mean to you. If you instead choose to make it
mean something else, you can actually change the outcome. How? Try
affirming something like this: "Even though traffic seems to be
moving slowly, I KNOW I will arrive at work exactly on time. The
universe is working with me to create the most beneficial outcome
possible." The trick is to put your full faith into this
affirmation, and not let yourself become filled with doubt or
worry. Then, any number of things could happen to support your new
belief. Traffic might begin moving more quickly because the
obstruction is cleared, or you might still arrive at work a few
minutes late only to discover that your boss and several other
coworkers were also late because of the traffic jam, so the meeting
begins later than planned.

2) Choose to feel good anyway! This is a little more challenging,
but the more you do it the better you get at it. Simply choose to
turn your thoughts to a more positive place. Rather than dwelling
on your frustration, find something to feel good about and focus on
it. Think about your loved ones, pets, or friends. Recall a happy
memory that makes you laugh out loud. Carry some uplifting audio
books in your car so you can listen to them when you need a boost.
Turn your attention firmly away from thoughts that increase your
worry and irritation, and toward thoughts that make you feel happy.

It seems difficult to overcome negative thoughts and feelings, but
it's really as simple as choosing your focus moment to moment, day
after day. The more practice you get at feeling good overall, the
more you'll find yourself able to step calmly over minor
irritations, and deal effectively with bigger issues.

THE MAGIC OF JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS by Kate Corbin

THE MAGIC OF JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS

"Shower the people you love with love."
- James Taylor

As most of us have experienced, relationships can bring us our greatest joys as well as our deepest sorrows. Relationships are such an integral part of our lives that the quality of our relationships often determines the overall quality of our lives.

How, then, can we experience relationships that lift us up rather than drag us down? By exposing limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering beliefs, we can all experience the Magic of Joyful Relationships. To consciously create the happy, healthy relationships we desire, let's start by taking a look at:

WHAT DOES NOT CREATE JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS:

- Blaming and Complaining. The more we focus on the unwanted aspects of others, the more unwanted aspects we elicit from them.Ouch!

- Expecting Others to Make Us Happy. When our happiness or unhappiness is dependent on the behavior of others, we give away both our power and our freedom. :-(

- Trying to Change / Fix / Control Others. If we need others to change so that we can feel good, we are definitely looking for happiness in all the wrong places.

There's got to be a better way.


WHAT DOES CREATE JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS:

- Feel Good First. Being independently happy and determined to keep our own vibration high is the perfect platform for creating great relationships. As we know from Law of Attraction, feeling good IS the most important thing.

- Self-Love First. If we want others to love, value, and appreciate us, we must love, value, and appreciate ourselves first. Period.

- Source First. When we tend to our primary relationship with our Inner Being / Source / God, then all our other relationships will be harmonious.

- Think and Thank. As we think of things we appreciate about others and express that appreciation often, we deepen and sweeten our connection with them.

- Look for Positive Aspects. When we focus on the positive qualities of others, they will display more of their positive qualities, at least with us! :-) It helps to remember this: At their core, EVERYONE is Pure, Positive Energy.

- Tell a New Story. We can free ourselves from past hurts and painful memories by talking about relationships the way we want them to be. We can get unstuck by telling a new, improved story, such as: All my relationships are joyful!

Now that we've shined a light on the major factors behind relationship woes and relationship bliss, let's turn our attention to what Law of Attraction considers the key to manifesting wonderfully harmonious relationships:

DIRECTING OUR THOUGHTS

Although we have no real control over what others are doing, we have complete control over our own thoughts and, happily, that is all we need. Our thoughts determine who we attract into our lives and our thoughts determine how these people behave once they get there.

Good relationships are creations. As we direct our thoughts exclusively and consistently toward what we DO WANT in relationships, we begin consciously and deliberately creating the relationships of our dreams.

As we maintain a strong connection with Source, love ourselves and others, appreciate rather than judge, live our lives as we see fit and let others do the same, accept full responsibility for our own happiness, feel as good as we can in every moment, and direct the power of our thoughts toward the positive aspects of others, we are applying the Law of Attraction to create delightful, delicious relationships. When we do these things, we are sure to experience the Magic of Joyful Relationships.


Kate Corbin

Subject: Trip to Rome

Subject: Trip to Rome

Here is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. Remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing (and cares less) tries to make your life miserable...

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.

They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who messed up your hair?"

author unknown