Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Acknowledge and Appreciate Yourself TODAY by Jack Canfield
Acknowledge and Appreciate Yourself TODAY
by Jack Canfield
With the year coming to a close, it's time to acknowledge and
appreciate yourself for everything you've accomplished today,
throughout the year, and in life. How many times have you
succeeded in the past month? Are you able to recall your successes
as well as your failures and missteps?
Many people under-appreciate the little things they accomplish
every day. And yet they can recall in detail all the times they
have failed or made mistakes. That's because the brain remembers
events more easily when they're accompanied by strong emotions.
You might recall graduation, losing 10 pounds, winning an award, or
landing a highly sought after position.
But do you include in your successes how you had a really great
talk with your spouse, how you spent quality time with your teen,
how you got all your list of things done for the day, how you
learned to change your own oil, or got your fussy child to take a
nap?
If you don't acknowledge your successes the same way you
acknowledge your mistakes, you're sure to have a memory full of
blunders.
Toot your own horn and don't wait for anyone else to praise you!
If you only remember the mistakes and failures, you won't be as
ready to take risks that will lead to your successes. Build your
self-esteem by recalling ALL the ways you have succeeded and your
brain will be filled with images of you making your achievements
happen again and again.
The more you acknowledge your past successes, the more confident
you become in taking on and successfully accomplishing new ones.
Take time to write your achievements down.
To really convince yourself that you're a successful person who can
continue to achieve great things, I'd like to challenge you to list
100 or more of your life successes.
Start when you were very young and think of all your achievements
since then. Don't just pick the big things, write down all the
things you take for granted. Thinks like, learning to ride a bike,
singing solo at church, getting your first job, or leading a
fund-raising campaign.
You should also begin to create a Victory Log of your daily
successes and review it anytime you are faced with a new challenge.
By writing it down everyday, you're securing it in your long-term
memory, which enhances your self-esteem and builds your confidence.
Surround yourself with reminders of your success.
We know from research that what you see in your environment has a
psychological impact on your moods, your attitudes, and your
behavior. Your environment has a great deal of influence over you.
And here's an even more important fact: You have almost total
control over your immediate environment.
Put up pictures, articles, trophies, awards and other symbols of
your past achievements that remind you about your past successes.
Make a special place - a special shelf, wall or section of your
home or office that you pass by every day and fill it with your
success symbols.
This will have a powerful effect on your subconscious mind and will
subtly remind you that you are someone who has consistent success
in life!
This is also a great thing to do for your children. Proudly display
their success symbols as well.
People like to be around those who have a healthy self-esteem and
who are achieving their goals. Commit to acknowledging your
achievements and your brain will begin to tell you the truth...
that you can do ANYTHING!
Taking just 30 minutes to complete this activity will become your
positive springboard into 2010 for even more successes.
© 2009 Jack Canfield
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A Professor's Lesson 30 Years Ago
A Professor's Lesson 30 Years Ago
--posted by amosjwaner
One winter semester during college in upstate New York., I took an 8 AM history class to fulfill a requirement. It was hard to get up for that class, but about 15 of us met 3 times a week to brave the cold winds and trudge to that lecture in a nondescript classroom.
The professor for the class was an odd fellow. He had flaming red hair, usually looking slept on, and wore galoshes with one pantleg in and one out. He would creep shyly into the room wearing his hooded winter coat , once not even removing the hood during the lecture. He was terribly ill at ease with the class and clutched the lecture barely looking up at all through his gold rimmed glasses at his students.
I felt that I needed to do something to stem the boredom that woud ensue in his lecture, so I created a little game for myself. I would vow to find something in his lecture to ask him an intelligent question about, forcing me to pay attention rather than letting my eyes close. The first time I raised my hand, you could tell he was surprised and a little reluctant to find out what I wanted. But he was obviously pleased to have a question to answer. In fact, his answers were always interesting.
I continued to do this every day of the course and found myself actually enjoying the material. The professor seemed to become a bit more relaxed and some of the other students even joined in from time to time. My little game had saved me from being bored, as it was designed to do. And, I learned quite a bit about ancient world history in the bargain. The professor obviously knew his material, but had a hard time passing it on to undergraduates in an interesting way. For all of his odd appearance, he was indeed quite an expert in his field.
But the real lesson I was to learn had yet to happen. On the last day of class we gathered our books and headed out the door for the last time. The shy, red-haired professor stepped directly in front of me, with obvious effort, as I reached the door and put out his hand. He said, "I want to thank you for making this class so interesting," as he shook my hand vigorously and smiled for the first time. I was so surprised. To me, it had been a pleasant way to pass the time in an elective. I had no idea that all of my question asking had any effect on him or the others at all.
That moment has stayed with me for 30 years. Each of us, through the things we say and do, the kindnesses we can freely offer, can have a profound effect not just on our own experiences, but those of others. I don't recall the facts I learned in his class, but I'll never forget the professor who taught me a lesson about the power of acts of kindness, intended or not.
A Professor's Lesson 30 Years Ago--posted by amosjwaner
Daily Good
--posted by amosjwaner
One winter semester during college in upstate New York., I took an 8 AM history class to fulfill a requirement. It was hard to get up for that class, but about 15 of us met 3 times a week to brave the cold winds and trudge to that lecture in a nondescript classroom.
The professor for the class was an odd fellow. He had flaming red hair, usually looking slept on, and wore galoshes with one pantleg in and one out. He would creep shyly into the room wearing his hooded winter coat , once not even removing the hood during the lecture. He was terribly ill at ease with the class and clutched the lecture barely looking up at all through his gold rimmed glasses at his students.
I felt that I needed to do something to stem the boredom that woud ensue in his lecture, so I created a little game for myself. I would vow to find something in his lecture to ask him an intelligent question about, forcing me to pay attention rather than letting my eyes close. The first time I raised my hand, you could tell he was surprised and a little reluctant to find out what I wanted. But he was obviously pleased to have a question to answer. In fact, his answers were always interesting.
I continued to do this every day of the course and found myself actually enjoying the material. The professor seemed to become a bit more relaxed and some of the other students even joined in from time to time. My little game had saved me from being bored, as it was designed to do. And, I learned quite a bit about ancient world history in the bargain. The professor obviously knew his material, but had a hard time passing it on to undergraduates in an interesting way. For all of his odd appearance, he was indeed quite an expert in his field.
But the real lesson I was to learn had yet to happen. On the last day of class we gathered our books and headed out the door for the last time. The shy, red-haired professor stepped directly in front of me, with obvious effort, as I reached the door and put out his hand. He said, "I want to thank you for making this class so interesting," as he shook my hand vigorously and smiled for the first time. I was so surprised. To me, it had been a pleasant way to pass the time in an elective. I had no idea that all of my question asking had any effect on him or the others at all.
That moment has stayed with me for 30 years. Each of us, through the things we say and do, the kindnesses we can freely offer, can have a profound effect not just on our own experiences, but those of others. I don't recall the facts I learned in his class, but I'll never forget the professor who taught me a lesson about the power of acts of kindness, intended or not.
A Professor's Lesson 30 Years Ago--posted by amosjwaner
Daily Good
Friday, December 18, 2009
Should You Trade Up? by Michael Webb
o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~
SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
Should You Trade Up?
by Michael Webb
Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships order today at:
http://www.TheRomantic.com/50secrets.htm
Athena and I have never had a car payment. Our current vehicles
are 6 years old and our previous car was a 13 year old Honda Civic
that ran just fine until the final few months.
When our Honda Civic was getting up in age (and didn't look so
shiny) we have had friends and family ask us point blank "when are
you going to get a new car" and tell us "certainly you can afford
something new". Yes, we can afford just about any car that we
could possibly desire. But no, we don't have any plans on trading
in our perfectly fine Honda for something new(er) simply to impress
others. Yes, when safety or reliability become a factor, we'll be
shopping for something else.
I find it curious, but not surprising that every person who has
suggested that we upgrade our car has been divorced at least once.
Back in 1988 Diamond Cutters International conducted a poll asking
women if they would ever consider trading in their engagement ring
for a bigger, better diamond. 46% of the respondents said yes.
Fifteen years later, these same women have been polled again.
Of those who were willing to trade up, 81% are now divorced.
And what about those sentimental ladies who would never trade in
their original ring? 78% are still married.
Are you the type of person who wants a new car every few years and
sees each raise as an opportunity to move to a bigger house? Are you
easily bored with the latest gadget you bought just a year ago?
Do you always have to have the best television among your peers?
If so, studies have shown that you have a much greater chance of
being tempted to "trade-up" spouses too.
Learn to appreciate what you have and don't be so quick to want to
get the latest model. Otherwise it might REALLY cost you.
SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
Should You Trade Up?
by Michael Webb
Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships order today at:
http://www.TheRomantic.com/50secrets.htm
Athena and I have never had a car payment. Our current vehicles
are 6 years old and our previous car was a 13 year old Honda Civic
that ran just fine until the final few months.
When our Honda Civic was getting up in age (and didn't look so
shiny) we have had friends and family ask us point blank "when are
you going to get a new car" and tell us "certainly you can afford
something new". Yes, we can afford just about any car that we
could possibly desire. But no, we don't have any plans on trading
in our perfectly fine Honda for something new(er) simply to impress
others. Yes, when safety or reliability become a factor, we'll be
shopping for something else.
I find it curious, but not surprising that every person who has
suggested that we upgrade our car has been divorced at least once.
Back in 1988 Diamond Cutters International conducted a poll asking
women if they would ever consider trading in their engagement ring
for a bigger, better diamond. 46% of the respondents said yes.
Fifteen years later, these same women have been polled again.
Of those who were willing to trade up, 81% are now divorced.
And what about those sentimental ladies who would never trade in
their original ring? 78% are still married.
Are you the type of person who wants a new car every few years and
sees each raise as an opportunity to move to a bigger house? Are you
easily bored with the latest gadget you bought just a year ago?
Do you always have to have the best television among your peers?
If so, studies have shown that you have a much greater chance of
being tempted to "trade-up" spouses too.
Learn to appreciate what you have and don't be so quick to want to
get the latest model. Otherwise it might REALLY cost you.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Forgiveness by Sheri Rosenthal
Forgiveness by Sheri Rosenthal
“That which you know as truth and that which you know as untruth, put together is the truth.” ~Vedas
We hear so much about forgiveness, in our churches, on Oprah, in new age magazines, but do we truly understand what the big deal about forgiveness is? We read that if we forgive others and ourselves we are doing our spiritual work and becoming better people, but what does that mean to us? You can forgive that guy you dated a while back until you run into him someplace and then you want to wreak revenge on him. You can forgive your parents for your horrible childhood but as soon as you get on the phone with your Dad you are arguing just like you always have. So, what good is forgiveness anyway?
The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart not from the mind. Knowing in your rational mind that your parents did the best they could to raise you is not enough to constitute forgiveness. That is why every time you are with your Dad you still argue. If you really forgave him you would not be reacting that way. You would have compassion for his dream and understand that he is just expressing his point of view. If you truly let go of the pain of your childhood, your self-importance, and your need to be right about your point of view, you would not be taking him personally any more. If you were not taking him personally you would not be angry and it would not be necessary to punish him by behaving like an angry child. It behoves us to look at ourselves with honesty and objectivity. You can say you have forgiven someone in your life, but the proof is in the pudding.
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~Catherine Ponder
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone, your heart is telling you that you have not resolved your issues with them. In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person. All of this begs the question, how do we forgive? First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories about why you behave the way you do. Stop blaming your behaviour on other people and take responsibility for your emotional reactions. If you could forgive all the people in your life who have hurt or wounded you it would be possible to be in control of your behavior instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time. Imagine living life without experiencing a constant emotional roller coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy! That would be bliss!
The important thing is to have awareness of what has transpired and be able to tell yourself the truth about it. Have you truly forgiven or has your rational mind been telling you a story that you have? Once you have determined what is truth and what is a justification, you are ready for the next step. Second, look at your life with clarity. Try to see what happened in your past, not only from your point of view, but also from the other person’s point of view. We need to be able to walk in the other persons shoes to understand why things happened the way they did. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they did or how they did it. Not at all. Your values and beliefs may be very different from theirs. All this means is that you can see the whole truth of what happened and the whole truth encompasses all points of view, not just your own.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Take some time to listen to how you tell the story of your life. Perhaps it would be helpful to journal the story of a particular time in your life that you have been challenged by. Listen to what you have written. Does it sound like you were victimized by your circumstances? Be objective, if someone heard your story would they say someone did you wrong, that you are resentful, vengeful and angry? If so, this is your first clue that you are seeing things from only one point of view. Why? Well, if you felt like someone hurt you then obviously you took the other persons actions personally. You assumed you knew why they did what they did according to your point of view and your beliefs about their words or actions. Chances are that your interpretation of what the other person did or said was not what the other person had in mind when they interacted with you. The key is to imagine what happened from their point of view.
If I say that my husband cheated on me and ruined our marriage and hurt me, I am only telling part of the story. What about my responsibility for my half of the relationship? It is doubtful that I was a vision of loveliness throughout the entire marriage. I had to contribute half of that relationship because all relationships take the contribution of both parties. When I can see both sides clearly, and have compassion for my husband, I can forgive him. But if I am attached to my victim point of view and blame everything on him, forgiveness will never come. Chances are I will bring my anger and resentment into my next relationship as well. This scenario applies to all human interactions in our lives. Rape, physical, emotional and mental abuse, cheating, violence, etc… are all included. Yes, even what we judge to be the most heinous of human activities can be forgiven.
“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” ~Sara Paddison
Seeing things with the eyes of truth means that you stop judging the activities of others and, instead, take responsibility for your interpretation of those activities. It means being responsible for how you write the story of what happened. I could say yes, my husband cheated on me in our marriage but, gosh, I was not aware of how my actions impacted our situation. We both had a lot to learn from that relationship. I am glad I can see what happened clearly and have gratitude for the opportunity to grow and become a better person. even if it hurt pretty badly for a while. The key word here is gratitude! We judge everything that happens in life as good or bad, right or wrong. The truth is life just happens, and life is exactly as it is. As long as we are always judging others and life situations according to our point of view, we will never be able to have gratitude for the challenges and experiences life sends our way. No matter how enlightened a person you may be, things will always happen in life. People you love will die, relationships will come and go, the stock market will crash and rise, your car may be totalled but, if you have gratitude for life’s challenges, you will always be writing a beautiful happy story of your life! Even better, you will never feel victimized by your circumstances.
You may think I am living my life in a fairy tale, but I assure you I’m not. We have been domesticated to process our life in a certain way. If you don’t believe me just watch one soap opera on TV. Everyone is stressed out, creating drama, having emotional outbursts, screaming and arguing, defending their points of view, and generally creating a life of misery! Soap operas are popular because they mimic our lives. I am suggesting a different way of perceiving life, one without judgment and with the ability to see the points of view of other people and to see beliefs other than your own. One where you take responsibility for your mind and what it thinks and, as a result of this internal chatter, how you choose to react to any situation. When you can truly see the other person’s point of view then you can forgive from the heart. True compassion of the human experience is the place from which forgiveness begins. Compassion is an act of love that is free of attachment. Of course, the kind of love I am talking about is unconditional love.
“Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.” — David McArthur & Bruce McArthur
Once you have seen the truth you must make the decision to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to. This requires you to take action. If you are attached to your pain, resentment, and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions, this will be a difficult step for you. Taking action requires letting go of the very thing you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar, even if we are experiencing pain and suffering. The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek. It takes absolute faith in yourself plus courage, will, and discipline to let go. But once you let go, it will as if the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders. In this process it is important to forgive not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves. For most people, giving ourselves the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
• Forgive yourself for using people in your life to hurt yourself.
• Forgive yourself for not having clarity, for blaming others, and for not taking responsibility for your actions.
• Forgive yourself for wounding others and for the anger, jealousy, and hate you directed toward others.
• Forgive yourself for participating in situations that went against your integrity.
• Forgive yourself for not respecting yourself.
• Forgive yourself for not trusting yourself and having faith in your abilities.
• Forgive yourself for trying to control the people you love.
• And, of course, forgive yourself for not loving yourself 100% just the way you are!
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”– Abraham Lincoln
More than once my teacher, don Miguel Ruiz, said “In order to merge with spirit your heart must be as light as a feather.”
Well, when you have finally detached from the anger, resentment, and pain of your story your heart will feel as light as a feather. Not only that, but for the first time in your adult life you will be happy, truly happy, and your life will reflect the change back to you in every way. After all what we think in our minds is what manifests in our lives! The bottom line is that we forgive because we love ourselves so much that we want to give ourselves the gift of personal freedom. We forgive not because the other person necessarily deserves it, but because we do not want to carry that load around until we die. Anger, hate, and jealousy will make you old, resentful and ugly, inside and out. The question is, how much do you love and respect yourself? Is it enough to give yourself the gift of forgiveness? I hope so.
“That which you know as truth and that which you know as untruth, put together is the truth.” ~Vedas
We hear so much about forgiveness, in our churches, on Oprah, in new age magazines, but do we truly understand what the big deal about forgiveness is? We read that if we forgive others and ourselves we are doing our spiritual work and becoming better people, but what does that mean to us? You can forgive that guy you dated a while back until you run into him someplace and then you want to wreak revenge on him. You can forgive your parents for your horrible childhood but as soon as you get on the phone with your Dad you are arguing just like you always have. So, what good is forgiveness anyway?
The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart not from the mind. Knowing in your rational mind that your parents did the best they could to raise you is not enough to constitute forgiveness. That is why every time you are with your Dad you still argue. If you really forgave him you would not be reacting that way. You would have compassion for his dream and understand that he is just expressing his point of view. If you truly let go of the pain of your childhood, your self-importance, and your need to be right about your point of view, you would not be taking him personally any more. If you were not taking him personally you would not be angry and it would not be necessary to punish him by behaving like an angry child. It behoves us to look at ourselves with honesty and objectivity. You can say you have forgiven someone in your life, but the proof is in the pudding.
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~Catherine Ponder
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone, your heart is telling you that you have not resolved your issues with them. In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person. All of this begs the question, how do we forgive? First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories about why you behave the way you do. Stop blaming your behaviour on other people and take responsibility for your emotional reactions. If you could forgive all the people in your life who have hurt or wounded you it would be possible to be in control of your behavior instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time. Imagine living life without experiencing a constant emotional roller coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy! That would be bliss!
The important thing is to have awareness of what has transpired and be able to tell yourself the truth about it. Have you truly forgiven or has your rational mind been telling you a story that you have? Once you have determined what is truth and what is a justification, you are ready for the next step. Second, look at your life with clarity. Try to see what happened in your past, not only from your point of view, but also from the other person’s point of view. We need to be able to walk in the other persons shoes to understand why things happened the way they did. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they did or how they did it. Not at all. Your values and beliefs may be very different from theirs. All this means is that you can see the whole truth of what happened and the whole truth encompasses all points of view, not just your own.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Take some time to listen to how you tell the story of your life. Perhaps it would be helpful to journal the story of a particular time in your life that you have been challenged by. Listen to what you have written. Does it sound like you were victimized by your circumstances? Be objective, if someone heard your story would they say someone did you wrong, that you are resentful, vengeful and angry? If so, this is your first clue that you are seeing things from only one point of view. Why? Well, if you felt like someone hurt you then obviously you took the other persons actions personally. You assumed you knew why they did what they did according to your point of view and your beliefs about their words or actions. Chances are that your interpretation of what the other person did or said was not what the other person had in mind when they interacted with you. The key is to imagine what happened from their point of view.
If I say that my husband cheated on me and ruined our marriage and hurt me, I am only telling part of the story. What about my responsibility for my half of the relationship? It is doubtful that I was a vision of loveliness throughout the entire marriage. I had to contribute half of that relationship because all relationships take the contribution of both parties. When I can see both sides clearly, and have compassion for my husband, I can forgive him. But if I am attached to my victim point of view and blame everything on him, forgiveness will never come. Chances are I will bring my anger and resentment into my next relationship as well. This scenario applies to all human interactions in our lives. Rape, physical, emotional and mental abuse, cheating, violence, etc… are all included. Yes, even what we judge to be the most heinous of human activities can be forgiven.
“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” ~Sara Paddison
Seeing things with the eyes of truth means that you stop judging the activities of others and, instead, take responsibility for your interpretation of those activities. It means being responsible for how you write the story of what happened. I could say yes, my husband cheated on me in our marriage but, gosh, I was not aware of how my actions impacted our situation. We both had a lot to learn from that relationship. I am glad I can see what happened clearly and have gratitude for the opportunity to grow and become a better person. even if it hurt pretty badly for a while. The key word here is gratitude! We judge everything that happens in life as good or bad, right or wrong. The truth is life just happens, and life is exactly as it is. As long as we are always judging others and life situations according to our point of view, we will never be able to have gratitude for the challenges and experiences life sends our way. No matter how enlightened a person you may be, things will always happen in life. People you love will die, relationships will come and go, the stock market will crash and rise, your car may be totalled but, if you have gratitude for life’s challenges, you will always be writing a beautiful happy story of your life! Even better, you will never feel victimized by your circumstances.
You may think I am living my life in a fairy tale, but I assure you I’m not. We have been domesticated to process our life in a certain way. If you don’t believe me just watch one soap opera on TV. Everyone is stressed out, creating drama, having emotional outbursts, screaming and arguing, defending their points of view, and generally creating a life of misery! Soap operas are popular because they mimic our lives. I am suggesting a different way of perceiving life, one without judgment and with the ability to see the points of view of other people and to see beliefs other than your own. One where you take responsibility for your mind and what it thinks and, as a result of this internal chatter, how you choose to react to any situation. When you can truly see the other person’s point of view then you can forgive from the heart. True compassion of the human experience is the place from which forgiveness begins. Compassion is an act of love that is free of attachment. Of course, the kind of love I am talking about is unconditional love.
“Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.” — David McArthur & Bruce McArthur
Once you have seen the truth you must make the decision to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to. This requires you to take action. If you are attached to your pain, resentment, and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions, this will be a difficult step for you. Taking action requires letting go of the very thing you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar, even if we are experiencing pain and suffering. The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek. It takes absolute faith in yourself plus courage, will, and discipline to let go. But once you let go, it will as if the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders. In this process it is important to forgive not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves. For most people, giving ourselves the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
• Forgive yourself for using people in your life to hurt yourself.
• Forgive yourself for not having clarity, for blaming others, and for not taking responsibility for your actions.
• Forgive yourself for wounding others and for the anger, jealousy, and hate you directed toward others.
• Forgive yourself for participating in situations that went against your integrity.
• Forgive yourself for not respecting yourself.
• Forgive yourself for not trusting yourself and having faith in your abilities.
• Forgive yourself for trying to control the people you love.
• And, of course, forgive yourself for not loving yourself 100% just the way you are!
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”– Abraham Lincoln
More than once my teacher, don Miguel Ruiz, said “In order to merge with spirit your heart must be as light as a feather.”
Well, when you have finally detached from the anger, resentment, and pain of your story your heart will feel as light as a feather. Not only that, but for the first time in your adult life you will be happy, truly happy, and your life will reflect the change back to you in every way. After all what we think in our minds is what manifests in our lives! The bottom line is that we forgive because we love ourselves so much that we want to give ourselves the gift of personal freedom. We forgive not because the other person necessarily deserves it, but because we do not want to carry that load around until we die. Anger, hate, and jealousy will make you old, resentful and ugly, inside and out. The question is, how much do you love and respect yourself? Is it enough to give yourself the gift of forgiveness? I hope so.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Pasco couple learns secret of flower deliveries
Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009
Pasco couple learns secret of flower deliveries
By Pratik Joshi, Herald staff writer
Imagine getting flowers with a note to brighten your day, week after week, not knowing who sent them.
When Sandra Spivey of Pasco got a beautiful flower arrangement for the first time on May 15, she and her husband Bob thought the blossoms were from a relative or friend.
When another bouquet came the next Friday, the couple started calling family from Alaska to Hawaii to Nebraska to personally thank them.
Sandra Spivey, who has been battling cancer for two years, was emotionally touched and surprised by the flowers.
So when the Lucky Flowers delivery truck pulled up again May 29, Bob Spivey called the Pasco flower shop to do some sleuthing.
"They wouldn't tell me who was sending the flowers," he said.
He told a store employee that he would be content if he could find out which state the unknown benefactor lived in.
The Hanford worker said he was put on hold for a long time before an employee revealed the bouquets came courtesy of the flower store.
Bob Spivey had once gone to the store to buy flowers for his sister who had lost her husband to cancer, and he ended up sharing his wife's story.
What he didn't know was that his story touched a chord with Melissa Behen, co-owner of the Road 68 business.
A few years ago, Behen sent flowers to her best friend's mother-in-law in North Carolina. She had cancer and Behen wanted to cheer her up.
Behen said she wanted to do the same again.
So she looked up the Spiveys' address and made sure fresh arrangements were delivered there each Friday.
It's a small gesture that can brighten somebody's day, she said.
When Bob Spivey found out, he thanked her. "He even brought apple cider for us. Tipped our driver and ordered us a pizza," Behen said.
"Bob wanted to let them know they could stop," said Sandra Spivey, a Richland school teacher who wants to go back to work in February after finishing chemotherapy.
But the flowers kept coming, she said. Each time, it's a different and unique arrangement, she said, adding it makes them feel special.
Pasco couple learns secret of flower deliveries
Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009
Pasco couple learns secret of flower deliveries
By Pratik Joshi, Herald staff writer
Imagine getting flowers with a note to brighten your day, week after week, not knowing who sent them.
When Sandra Spivey of Pasco got a beautiful flower arrangement for the first time on May 15, she and her husband Bob thought the blossoms were from a relative or friend.
When another bouquet came the next Friday, the couple started calling family from Alaska to Hawaii to Nebraska to personally thank them.
Sandra Spivey, who has been battling cancer for two years, was emotionally touched and surprised by the flowers.
So when the Lucky Flowers delivery truck pulled up again May 29, Bob Spivey called the Pasco flower shop to do some sleuthing.
"They wouldn't tell me who was sending the flowers," he said.
He told a store employee that he would be content if he could find out which state the unknown benefactor lived in.
The Hanford worker said he was put on hold for a long time before an employee revealed the bouquets came courtesy of the flower store.
Bob Spivey had once gone to the store to buy flowers for his sister who had lost her husband to cancer, and he ended up sharing his wife's story.
What he didn't know was that his story touched a chord with Melissa Behen, co-owner of the Road 68 business.
A few years ago, Behen sent flowers to her best friend's mother-in-law in North Carolina. She had cancer and Behen wanted to cheer her up.
Behen said she wanted to do the same again.
So she looked up the Spiveys' address and made sure fresh arrangements were delivered there each Friday.
It's a small gesture that can brighten somebody's day, she said.
When Bob Spivey found out, he thanked her. "He even brought apple cider for us. Tipped our driver and ordered us a pizza," Behen said.
"Bob wanted to let them know they could stop," said Sandra Spivey, a Richland school teacher who wants to go back to work in February after finishing chemotherapy.
But the flowers kept coming, she said. Each time, it's a different and unique arrangement, she said, adding it makes them feel special.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
The Law of Allowing and The Law of Giving by Christy Whitman
The Law of Allowing and The Law of Giving by Christy Whitman
The Law of Allowing
The Law of Allowing is one of the most important laws, but usually the hardest for people to grasp. You may be working with the Law of Attraction, and Deliberate Creation, but if you do not master the Law of Allowing you will not have your desires realized. You will continue to struggle focusing on affirmations, meditations, and vision boards only to be left feeling more frustrated and confused. This is the law that will leave you saying, "Why does this stuff work for other people, but not me?"
Do you think that if someone with beliefs opposed to yours gets their way, you can't have your way? Or do you believe there's room for it all?
The truth is, there is freedom in allowing circumstances to be what they are and people to be who they are, whether you agree with them or not.
So, how in the world do you accept situations and people that stand for something you don't? Or that want the opposite of what you want?
We tend to think we can't have it both ways. So what do we do? We push back! We hold protest marches against war, we organize campaigns against drugs, we battle disease. And yet, understanding the Law of Attraction -- that whatever you are focused on you attract more of -- when you are focused on what you do not want in an effort to defeat it or resist it, you are not allowing what you do want to flow to you.
The Law of Allowing is about relaxing - having a relaxed, but positively focused mind - and allowing the universe to deliver to you what you're wanting. When you say yes to something, you attract more of that into your life, because that is what you are focused on. When you say no to something, you attract more of that into your life, because that is what you are focused on. So in order to allow what you want to flow to you, you must allow others to focus on what they want - even if you don't agree with it. When you understand these principles and put them to use consciously, intentionally and deliberately, you put yourself in a place of nonresistance.
How do you know if you're allowing? By noticing how you feel.
Your emotions are always your guide. Whenever you are in a place of feeling good, you are in a place of allowing. Nothing is more important than that you feel good!
So what happens if someone is in your life is acting inappropriate? Does that mean you take the abuse, disrespect, and the negativity? NO! You are allowed to set your boundaries, and when someone is crossing them, you can say "No more". This means trying not to change them, but respectfully telling them what is your truth.
We had a lady that we had to ask to leave the Goddess weekend, because she was inappropriate, disrespectful, and didn't play well with others. We allowed her to be who she was, but after her attitude and behavior was so disruptive, we had to set our boundaries and ask her to leave. Having her there, did not feel good. Asking her to leave did not feel good. But after she left, it felt amazing.
She is allowed to be herself. We did not try to change her. But we respectfully ask that she be herself somewhere else.
The Law of Giving
Why is The Law of Giving important? This is a law that most people forget about. This is a key in creating abundance. To give is to receive. Giving and receiving are the two opposite seats on the see-saw of life. Every relationship is one of give and take. Everything in the Universe is energy. Energy is continually being exchanged in the Universe as it flows from gas to liquid to solid, from solid to liquid to gas. The circulation, the flow of energy means that something or someone is always giving energy one moment in one form and receiving energy the next moment in another form. It is when you give that you also receive. The intention behind the giving, if it is to create happiness for the receiver and the giver, will ensure it generates increase. Happiness is expansive because it supports life and sustains life. It adds to, or increases, life. The giver also benefits from this exp ansiveness, this increase in life. The Law of Giving says if you want to receive something first give it to others. The best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Giving and receiving, with the correct intention, allows the flow of energies in the Universe to provide for the Giver and for the Receiver. For as long as you give you will be receiving.
Giving is an esoteric science that never fails to produce results if it is done with love and joy, because the Law will shower you with ten-fold return.
The Law of Allowing
The Law of Allowing is one of the most important laws, but usually the hardest for people to grasp. You may be working with the Law of Attraction, and Deliberate Creation, but if you do not master the Law of Allowing you will not have your desires realized. You will continue to struggle focusing on affirmations, meditations, and vision boards only to be left feeling more frustrated and confused. This is the law that will leave you saying, "Why does this stuff work for other people, but not me?"
Do you think that if someone with beliefs opposed to yours gets their way, you can't have your way? Or do you believe there's room for it all?
The truth is, there is freedom in allowing circumstances to be what they are and people to be who they are, whether you agree with them or not.
So, how in the world do you accept situations and people that stand for something you don't? Or that want the opposite of what you want?
We tend to think we can't have it both ways. So what do we do? We push back! We hold protest marches against war, we organize campaigns against drugs, we battle disease. And yet, understanding the Law of Attraction -- that whatever you are focused on you attract more of -- when you are focused on what you do not want in an effort to defeat it or resist it, you are not allowing what you do want to flow to you.
The Law of Allowing is about relaxing - having a relaxed, but positively focused mind - and allowing the universe to deliver to you what you're wanting. When you say yes to something, you attract more of that into your life, because that is what you are focused on. When you say no to something, you attract more of that into your life, because that is what you are focused on. So in order to allow what you want to flow to you, you must allow others to focus on what they want - even if you don't agree with it. When you understand these principles and put them to use consciously, intentionally and deliberately, you put yourself in a place of nonresistance.
How do you know if you're allowing? By noticing how you feel.
Your emotions are always your guide. Whenever you are in a place of feeling good, you are in a place of allowing. Nothing is more important than that you feel good!
So what happens if someone is in your life is acting inappropriate? Does that mean you take the abuse, disrespect, and the negativity? NO! You are allowed to set your boundaries, and when someone is crossing them, you can say "No more". This means trying not to change them, but respectfully telling them what is your truth.
We had a lady that we had to ask to leave the Goddess weekend, because she was inappropriate, disrespectful, and didn't play well with others. We allowed her to be who she was, but after her attitude and behavior was so disruptive, we had to set our boundaries and ask her to leave. Having her there, did not feel good. Asking her to leave did not feel good. But after she left, it felt amazing.
She is allowed to be herself. We did not try to change her. But we respectfully ask that she be herself somewhere else.
The Law of Giving
Why is The Law of Giving important? This is a law that most people forget about. This is a key in creating abundance. To give is to receive. Giving and receiving are the two opposite seats on the see-saw of life. Every relationship is one of give and take. Everything in the Universe is energy. Energy is continually being exchanged in the Universe as it flows from gas to liquid to solid, from solid to liquid to gas. The circulation, the flow of energy means that something or someone is always giving energy one moment in one form and receiving energy the next moment in another form. It is when you give that you also receive. The intention behind the giving, if it is to create happiness for the receiver and the giver, will ensure it generates increase. Happiness is expansive because it supports life and sustains life. It adds to, or increases, life. The giver also benefits from this exp ansiveness, this increase in life. The Law of Giving says if you want to receive something first give it to others. The best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Giving and receiving, with the correct intention, allows the flow of energies in the Universe to provide for the Giver and for the Receiver. For as long as you give you will be receiving.
Giving is an esoteric science that never fails to produce results if it is done with love and joy, because the Law will shower you with ten-fold return.
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