Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability has increased."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

An Inspirational Reminder…..

The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice in your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee must begin with YOU, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you rnext fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideas of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”

You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things you take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: A full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can, to design the life you want to live.

[This is an abridged version of the poem.]

Peace and Joy,

Lynne Namka, Ed. D.

"Choice is focused intent. It triggers belief, attitude, feeling and decision-making. Choice is the keystone to creation and manifestation. Choice changes neural pathways. It can engage the unconscious to override the subconscious. Choice opens gateways to the future, to the possible and to your many possibilities."


Questions regarding the content of this newsletter, comments or written contributions can be directed to inspirationcontact@yahoo.com. Please remember that I cannot provide you with any advice of a personal nature. But help is out there somewhere! Do reach out and get a qualified professional to help you sort through your issues. Please check out my web site www.AngriesOut.com for ideas and numerous downloadable articles on a wide range of subjects. You can also click on the ‘Finding a Therapist’ link to take you to the section entitled, “Finding a Competent Therapist with Great Training.”

Monday, August 23, 2010

Distinctive Ring Tones

Distinctive Ring Tones

So we see, to play successfully the game of life, we must train the imaging faculty. A person with an imaging faculty trained to image only good, brings into his life "every righteous desire of his heart" - health, wealth, love, friends, perfect self-expression, his highest ideals.

— Florence Scovel Shinn

In the film Tin Cup, Kevin Costner’s character proclaims, “When the defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you.” We have been led to believe that life determines who we are, when at every moment we determine what our life is.

One strong metaphor for attuning to your unique guidance is the cell phone. Most people have a unique cell phone ring tone. We choose melodies and songs that we enjoy and that represent our unique taste and style. When cell phones first became popular, there were no distinctive tones, so when I stood in line at an airport, for example, a cell phone would ring and five people would each reach for their phone, in case someone was calling them. Now the rings are so distinctive that you reach for your call and not someone else’s.

Your soul’s calling also has a distinct tone. When your inner voice speaks to you it bestows a feeling of peace, ease, flow, aliveness, and a sense of coming home. By contrast, the voice of the ego, or fear, is burdensome, demanding, and disquieting. When considering whether to hearken to a voice within you, test its frequency. Is it broadcasting from fear, or love? Practice picking up the phone for love calls and refuse to answer the fear calls. As a Chasidic sage nobly stated, “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.”

Do you recognize the frequency of your own true inner voice?

Considering a decision before you, what does the voice of love say to you?

I listen to the my own true voice and I act on it with confidence.

I am always guided to my greater good.

Wisdom for Today © 2010 by Alan Cohen www.alancohen.com

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Stable Mule

The Stable Mule

Ranchers have a trick to deal with a corral of skittish horses: they place a mule in their midst. Mules are generally more relaxed and laid-back than horses, and they exert a calming influence on high-strung equines.

If you find yourself in the midst of a tense office, family gathering, or traffic jam, you serve yourself and those around you best by being the mule. Do whatever you can to keep yourself peaceful, no matter how crazy the people around you are getting. The person who is least upset is in the best position to recognize creative solutions helpful to everyone. Regardless of what action you take, inner peace is the greatest contribution you can make anywhere, anytime.

You can also apply this principle when you find yourself getting upset. While fearful or chaotic thoughts and feelings may be running rampant within you like spooked horses, you also have a calm mule inside you that can bring a soothing energy to your world if you invite it into the corral. If you start to feel frantic about anything, bring forth your inner mule.

Your life is an interplay of frequencies of experience. You have the power to choose frequencies that match your intentions. Inner peace is not a random event created by outer conditions. It is a purposeful experience created by inner choice.

The pure love of one person can offset the hatred of millions.

— Mahatma Gandhi

Alan Cohen