How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Relationship

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Relationship

Several years ago Pat Love Ed.D. and Sunny Shulkin Ph.D., two Imago trainers and therapists, published a book titled How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Relationship. Below is part of their list of some behaviors they identify which can, indeed, ruin a relationship:

• Control everything and everyone
• Never take the blame yourself; instead, make your partner wrong
• Make it a habit to spend more money than you have
• Win every fight, even the ones you couldn’t care less about
• Keep score
• Use threat often
• Find your partner’s weak spot and use it against him/her
• When your partner tries to please you, find fault with their efforts
• Hold fast to the belief: “If you loved me you would know what I want”
• Demand your partner remain faithful but refuse to meet his or her sexual needs
• Use silence as a weapon
• Pretend that you don’t hear
• When your partner tries to apologize, bring up more complaints
• Refuse to give information
• When you realize you haven’t given your partner some important info, insist that you did
• Claim to be the only one interested in the relationship
• Never ask for help
• Confide only in friends
• Take it personally when your partner wants time alone
• Discount your partner’s physical complaints
• Give advice where it isn’t welcome
• Never pick up after yourself
• Refuse to seek help for your depression
• Refuse to talk
• Focus on changing your partner
• Focus all your needs on sex
• Take all problems as further proof that the relationship will not work
• Put your friends before your partner
• Keep romantic gestures to a minimum
• Focus on your partner’s faults and deny your own
• Let days go by without a kind word or loving gesture
• Practice verbal abuse
• Do not listen to your partner’s ideas or suggestions
• Ask your partner to share feelings and when s/he does, EXPLODE
• Start conversations when your partner is busy, or better yet, exhausted
• Let disagreements fester
• Say what you think your partner wants to hear, then do as you please

Receive, Accept and Express

As you begin this day go within and feel the emerging presence of a power that is at one with the calling of your heart. Connect with that power from a mindset that is free from any thought of lack and limitation grounded in consciousness of infinite possibility. Know that whatever it s that you are seeking when you are open and willing to receive all good things will come your way and exactly what it is you are seeking will be seeking you. There will be a perfect harmony being played and you will hear it loud and clear. When you begin to accept the truth that everywhere you look an opportunity is presenting itself you begin to look at life with a new set of fresh eyes. Nothing will hold you back because everything is here to support you and is designed to give you all you need to express yourself in a confident and powerful way. The key to LIFE is to give yourself permission to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS all the divine intelligence that is calling you to be more and more of who you are.

The thought of anything other than greatness and excellence is just a mere mirage of what is the real truth about who you are. Everything you are is excellence, magnificence, brilliance, genius, unconditional love and unlimited divine intelligence. The DNA of your being is one of perfection. There is nothing that needs to be fixed about you. Rather all YOU need to do is to awaken to these truths about who you are. When you do every day beginning with today will be one of glorious and spectacular accomplishments. Everything will be in alignment with the vision you have for yourself. Your purpose will be passionately expressed because you are willing to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS the calling of your life through all the actions you take. You will make all the right choices and the world before you will open up into the divine garden of creativity and infinite imagination that is always present. YOU are ready to s tep into it and capture the perfect essence of who you are.

"What you are thinking right now will guide you towards your dream. Is it a positive expression of who you are? Make sure you make it one."

I AM willing to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS my true calling
My LIFE is a perfect expression of divine intelligence
I see hear and feel the presence of my excellence and magnificence
I AM in the flow of life and LIFE flows through ME
I know all things are possible for I AM Infinite possibility
I step into the brilliance of all my creativity powerfully

It's your day...MAKE IT A GREAT ONE!

-Paul Hoffman