Suffering From Negative Head-Talk?
By: Jim Sniechowski and Judith Sherven
Nearly everyone does battle with that pesky voice of self-judgment and sabotaging put-downs that chatters away in our heads.
And, in response to a recent teleseminar we gave titled "The Fear of Being Fabulous" we received a request from a participant who said:
"I would love to hear how you remove the head talk that keeps you from being fabulous. I can get so far and then I'm stopped by my head talk."
Here's our answer . . .
First, you'll know it's Head-Talk by the repetitive, nagging attack on who you are. Your self-respect and self-esteem can end up in the toilet. And you can end up on the edge of . . . well, for us it's sometimes been the pothole from hell.
On the other hand, if you only hear a single reminder or even a reprimand, that's usually your wisdom giving you a heads-up to watch out or correct for behavior that's not in your best interest.
But Negative Head-Talk is relentless once it gets going. Its job is to successfully bring you down and remind you of your "proper" place.
What's "proper" about being put down?
Well, you weren't born turning yourself into a brick of Swiss cheese, with more holes than substance. Right?
Somewhere along your life, probably earlier than later, you were told negative stuff about who you are and what you could accomplish and what you could have and who you could be . . .
Even if you cannot now remember what it was or who said it.
Because if that hadn't happened, there wouldn't be any Negative Scripts in your noggin' that involuntarily blast away at you as Negative Self-Talk.
So, what to do when that destructive force turns on you and fills your head with lies . . .
1) Know they are lies.
2) Remember We're On Your Side and we told you they're lies.
3) Take yourself back to where they came from originally, and see if you can remember who told you those lies, when, and what for...
4) Then notice how, when that Negative Head-Talk takes over, you are still in allegiance to that person and that part of your history.
5) Know that even after you've got hold of its source, when the Negative Self-Talk yammers at you you'll be tempted to side with IT instead of with YOU.
6) So that's when you must practice taking your own side, something you couldn't do when you were younger. But you must practice doing it now.
7) Make the commitment to break your allegiance. This won't happen without fear, pain, and sorrow. And there will be a sense of loss. That's expected and normal.
8) Know that this need to detach from the past is urgent. Because that's the key to your well-being and a fabulous future.
9) Stay away from blame. That just keeps you stuck to the past.And that's just another, less obvious form of your allegiance.
10) Make the commitment to side with your desire. It's your desire that will carve out and light the path to the Positive Head-Talk that you need as your powerful guide and ally.
Now, every time your Negative Head-Talk threatens, you have your own internal arsenal to combat and overcome its power to trash your well-being. With practice you'll see that that voice becomes weaker and less active.
And you will enjoy the freedom to be fabulously alive and loving on your own terms.
For deeper breakthroughs, get Judith & Jim's bonus program "Positive Thinking is NOT Enough". Just go to: http://budurl.com/positivethinkinghww
About the Author:
Judith & Jim are the best-selling authors of five relationship books. Their latest is The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams www.smartweddingcouples.com. To receive Judith & Jim's free tips on making your relationships extraordinary, just go to www.makingtheordinaryextraordinary.com
Showing posts with label Receive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Receive. Show all posts
Friday, April 3, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The Abundance of a Sacred Fund
--posted by omtaratutare on Mar 29, 2009
Last year, I received a satchel of money on the front steps at my home. When that money arrived, I actually was out of town but my family called me and said that there was a lot of money left at the front door with a note. When, I returned home I was touched most by the note, which read, "Thank you for all you do for the world." As I have shared on helpothers.org, I immediately placed all of this money into my sacred fund which keeps coming back to me again and again. All of the work I do which bring gifts of monetary value immediately goes into a fund in my home. This has enabled me to grow the initial gift from the universe of $1000 and I have attracted and given back at least two to three times this. The abundance just keeps going out to the world and keeps coming back to me. The actual amount is irrelevant to me---it is more important for me to keep the cycle going.
Initially, I quickly distributed some to the funds to a local charity, passing it on to kids selling candy. I put $200 dollars under a sleeping homeless person's head; I bought a friend a necklace that she could not afford and gifted it to her anonymously; I paid for a group of ten do-gooders' dinner; I paid for a friend's ticket to Los Angeles; and I gifted some friends to enjoy some activities while we were on vacation. Then, a few weeks ago, my friend's boyfriend had an invitation to have dinner with an accomplished photographer and knew he would need at least $100 dollars to dine with him. He did not have the money but I knew it was important for him to go out with this photographer to connect and receive information and ideas from him. So, I gifted him the money asking him to pay-it-forward. The lesson for him was really about learning to receive because he did not want a hand out. After giving to him, I decided to pay attention at what was sent back to me and recognize the abundance in all shapes and sizes.
The next day, I was heading to Italy and upon my arrival, I had to jump on a train to Rome. I had this yoga bag filled with 3 mats and my flute, a hand carved Native American flute, I use it to bring people out of meditation. It has a very special place in my heart and was made with a lot of love. I had secured it to my luggage and left it parked by other bags on the train. Now, everyone has warned me of the thieves on the trains but I really do not like to feed into that negative energy. I always trust that which I am supposed to have with me will stay with me. After a wonderful talk with a young girl from China, we arrived in Rome, as I was leaving I noticed my bag had been moved and the yoga bag was no longer attached to the bag. My friends were relying on those mats for the next week during our yoga retreat. I knew I could do without and I realized that the universe had given me my wish: I had wished my load was going to be lighter while I traveled through Italy. I was actually already feeling too weighed down by that extra bag. I also knew that my flute which had to be the draw, not three used yoga mats, would soon find itself in someone's hands who would make beautiful melodies with it. As for the person that took the bag, he must have needed some money and I hoped they would make the money they needed by selling my stuff or better yet, start practicing yoga. Right there I noticed I had received the first gift of a lighter load which would help me shortly after departing the train.
As soon as I exited the hustling terminal, I was greeted by a bright-eyed cab driver. The cab driver told me that I would not be able to walk to the hostel where I was going to meet my friend. Acknowledging that the streets were filled with Italian chaos, I decided to trust and jumped into the taxi. I was very grateful as I quickly remembered how busy the streets of Rome are. Second gift--received a ride from a kind Italian man, he saved me a lot of potential frustration. Next, upon arrival at the hostel, Krista informed me that we were being moved across town back where I had come from to another hostel. I was really thankful I had one less thing to carry since we had to climb many flights of stairs. At the second hostel, they told us they were full. We were waiting with another gentleman who was experiencing the same situation as we were. He was given the last room but we decided to wait in hopes that something would turn up. After waiting for about 15 minutes the gentleman said, "We are going to move you across the street. I will help you with your bag." Third and fourth gifts, a room across the street and a man willing to lug my big bag for me. I was feeling very abundant and we were graciously put into a room with three other people. We quickly deposited our goods and headed out for dinner. Krista and I found this amazing Italian café and indulged in our first Italian meal together in Rome with a charming waiter at our service. He was so sweet to drive Krista and I back to our hostel that night. Fifth gift, free cab ride!
Finally, I must acknowledge the gifts kept coming during my entire trip in Italy, down to the universe creating enough space and time for me to leave my hotel in Rome at 8.20am to make a flight at 9.40 am at an airport that is a 40-50 minute drive outside the city. I even had to check my heavy bag and go through customs. They also should have charged me for my heavy bag but since I was late she said there was no time for me to pay. Sixth and Seventh gifts---made my flight and saved 50 Euro. All of these gifts do not have a specific value but if I put a value on any of them they would far exceed the 100 dollars I had given away. These gifts did not appear in an obvious manner. However, I recognized them every step of the way. When I returned from Italy, I received more money which has been added to my secret fund and I am ready to continue paying it forward. The saga continues as free economy continues to flourish in my little abode near the shore of Long Beach.
May you all continue to recognize how abundant the universe is and continue to PAY IT FORWARD!
posted on HelpOthers.org
Last year, I received a satchel of money on the front steps at my home. When that money arrived, I actually was out of town but my family called me and said that there was a lot of money left at the front door with a note. When, I returned home I was touched most by the note, which read, "Thank you for all you do for the world." As I have shared on helpothers.org, I immediately placed all of this money into my sacred fund which keeps coming back to me again and again. All of the work I do which bring gifts of monetary value immediately goes into a fund in my home. This has enabled me to grow the initial gift from the universe of $1000 and I have attracted and given back at least two to three times this. The abundance just keeps going out to the world and keeps coming back to me. The actual amount is irrelevant to me---it is more important for me to keep the cycle going.
Initially, I quickly distributed some to the funds to a local charity, passing it on to kids selling candy. I put $200 dollars under a sleeping homeless person's head; I bought a friend a necklace that she could not afford and gifted it to her anonymously; I paid for a group of ten do-gooders' dinner; I paid for a friend's ticket to Los Angeles; and I gifted some friends to enjoy some activities while we were on vacation. Then, a few weeks ago, my friend's boyfriend had an invitation to have dinner with an accomplished photographer and knew he would need at least $100 dollars to dine with him. He did not have the money but I knew it was important for him to go out with this photographer to connect and receive information and ideas from him. So, I gifted him the money asking him to pay-it-forward. The lesson for him was really about learning to receive because he did not want a hand out. After giving to him, I decided to pay attention at what was sent back to me and recognize the abundance in all shapes and sizes.
The next day, I was heading to Italy and upon my arrival, I had to jump on a train to Rome. I had this yoga bag filled with 3 mats and my flute, a hand carved Native American flute, I use it to bring people out of meditation. It has a very special place in my heart and was made with a lot of love. I had secured it to my luggage and left it parked by other bags on the train. Now, everyone has warned me of the thieves on the trains but I really do not like to feed into that negative energy. I always trust that which I am supposed to have with me will stay with me. After a wonderful talk with a young girl from China, we arrived in Rome, as I was leaving I noticed my bag had been moved and the yoga bag was no longer attached to the bag. My friends were relying on those mats for the next week during our yoga retreat. I knew I could do without and I realized that the universe had given me my wish: I had wished my load was going to be lighter while I traveled through Italy. I was actually already feeling too weighed down by that extra bag. I also knew that my flute which had to be the draw, not three used yoga mats, would soon find itself in someone's hands who would make beautiful melodies with it. As for the person that took the bag, he must have needed some money and I hoped they would make the money they needed by selling my stuff or better yet, start practicing yoga. Right there I noticed I had received the first gift of a lighter load which would help me shortly after departing the train.
As soon as I exited the hustling terminal, I was greeted by a bright-eyed cab driver. The cab driver told me that I would not be able to walk to the hostel where I was going to meet my friend. Acknowledging that the streets were filled with Italian chaos, I decided to trust and jumped into the taxi. I was very grateful as I quickly remembered how busy the streets of Rome are. Second gift--received a ride from a kind Italian man, he saved me a lot of potential frustration. Next, upon arrival at the hostel, Krista informed me that we were being moved across town back where I had come from to another hostel. I was really thankful I had one less thing to carry since we had to climb many flights of stairs. At the second hostel, they told us they were full. We were waiting with another gentleman who was experiencing the same situation as we were. He was given the last room but we decided to wait in hopes that something would turn up. After waiting for about 15 minutes the gentleman said, "We are going to move you across the street. I will help you with your bag." Third and fourth gifts, a room across the street and a man willing to lug my big bag for me. I was feeling very abundant and we were graciously put into a room with three other people. We quickly deposited our goods and headed out for dinner. Krista and I found this amazing Italian café and indulged in our first Italian meal together in Rome with a charming waiter at our service. He was so sweet to drive Krista and I back to our hostel that night. Fifth gift, free cab ride!
Finally, I must acknowledge the gifts kept coming during my entire trip in Italy, down to the universe creating enough space and time for me to leave my hotel in Rome at 8.20am to make a flight at 9.40 am at an airport that is a 40-50 minute drive outside the city. I even had to check my heavy bag and go through customs. They also should have charged me for my heavy bag but since I was late she said there was no time for me to pay. Sixth and Seventh gifts---made my flight and saved 50 Euro. All of these gifts do not have a specific value but if I put a value on any of them they would far exceed the 100 dollars I had given away. These gifts did not appear in an obvious manner. However, I recognized them every step of the way. When I returned from Italy, I received more money which has been added to my secret fund and I am ready to continue paying it forward. The saga continues as free economy continues to flourish in my little abode near the shore of Long Beach.
May you all continue to recognize how abundant the universe is and continue to PAY IT FORWARD!
posted on HelpOthers.org
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Happiness Decision
Happiness Decision by Lionel Ketchian
This is well worth the time to view it.
There is a positive connection between health and happiness (now scientifically verified), as well as a negative correlation between health and unhappiness (à stressàdisease)
� Happiness doesn’t mean you won’t have problems, even major ones; we all have problems; life is all about problems.
� You are/can be separate from your problems. When you see the truth of this you can be happy even in the midst of these problems.
� Acceptance is the way out for those problems over which you have no control.
� This doesn’t mean you can’t work on improving life or getting rid of problems. Those who are happy, in fact, have more energy for working on the problems they can work to improve.
� You choose happiness moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Whatever comes up you can ask yourself if it is worth losing your happiness for it…and will that help? It’s a present moment choice all the time in Being Happy in the Moment, moment by moment.
� When you are happy you make better decisions; you mind is clearer and more creative.
� Happy people are more fun to be with, more attractive to others, have better long term relationships, are healthier, and live longer.
Excerpt from Aymee Coget, "How to Be Happy No Matter What"
This is well worth the time to view it.
There is a positive connection between health and happiness (now scientifically verified), as well as a negative correlation between health and unhappiness (à stressàdisease)
� Happiness doesn’t mean you won’t have problems, even major ones; we all have problems; life is all about problems.
� You are/can be separate from your problems. When you see the truth of this you can be happy even in the midst of these problems.
� Acceptance is the way out for those problems over which you have no control.
� This doesn’t mean you can’t work on improving life or getting rid of problems. Those who are happy, in fact, have more energy for working on the problems they can work to improve.
� You choose happiness moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Whatever comes up you can ask yourself if it is worth losing your happiness for it…and will that help? It’s a present moment choice all the time in Being Happy in the Moment, moment by moment.
� When you are happy you make better decisions; you mind is clearer and more creative.
� Happy people are more fun to be with, more attractive to others, have better long term relationships, are healthier, and live longer.
Excerpt from Aymee Coget, "How to Be Happy No Matter What"
SPREAD THE JOY by Dr. Lisa Love
The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference.-- Audre Lorde
Dr. Lisa Love Coaching Tip
The other night I was home with my son and received a video link from a Facebook friend in Greece. The images of Greece combined with the music got my heart happy and the next thing you know I was singing and dancing all over my home. I new fan of Twitter, I "tweeted" about all the fun I was having to friends there and the next thing I knew I was in the middle of an international party spreading the joy all around. I even had people from other states in the United States call me on the phone. The laughter, the networking, the sheer fun and silliness of it all kept amping up the joy in my life. In turn I amped it up with the people around me and went to bed on a super high of giggles and smiles.
As I woke up the next morning I thought to myself, "Instead of telling people around the globe in this economic crisis to go shopping, maybe we should tell everyone to go dancing instead." A vision of people all around the world dealing with the economic crisis not by saying, "Oh my, how will I handle this all?" but by indulging in one big joy fest of singing, dancing, laughing, and smiling flooded my imagination. I could even see YouTube videos being shared of people just sharing the major joy fest they were having. None of it costs a thing to indulge in, yet far more than shopping I am certain such a thing would do way more to help out the economy than anything else we could think of. Can't you see it? A world wide laugh fest? No one able to supress our spirits because we decide instead to raise them up to a whole new vibration regardless? Couldn't be better. So get out your dance shoes. Tune up your instruments. Looses up your vocal chords. Get playing and spread the joy! It's infectious! And, it's one virus worth spreading right now.
Dr. Lisa Lisa
www.doctorlisalove.com
Dr. Lisa Love Coaching Tip
The other night I was home with my son and received a video link from a Facebook friend in Greece. The images of Greece combined with the music got my heart happy and the next thing you know I was singing and dancing all over my home. I new fan of Twitter, I "tweeted" about all the fun I was having to friends there and the next thing I knew I was in the middle of an international party spreading the joy all around. I even had people from other states in the United States call me on the phone. The laughter, the networking, the sheer fun and silliness of it all kept amping up the joy in my life. In turn I amped it up with the people around me and went to bed on a super high of giggles and smiles.
As I woke up the next morning I thought to myself, "Instead of telling people around the globe in this economic crisis to go shopping, maybe we should tell everyone to go dancing instead." A vision of people all around the world dealing with the economic crisis not by saying, "Oh my, how will I handle this all?" but by indulging in one big joy fest of singing, dancing, laughing, and smiling flooded my imagination. I could even see YouTube videos being shared of people just sharing the major joy fest they were having. None of it costs a thing to indulge in, yet far more than shopping I am certain such a thing would do way more to help out the economy than anything else we could think of. Can't you see it? A world wide laugh fest? No one able to supress our spirits because we decide instead to raise them up to a whole new vibration regardless? Couldn't be better. So get out your dance shoes. Tune up your instruments. Looses up your vocal chords. Get playing and spread the joy! It's infectious! And, it's one virus worth spreading right now.
Dr. Lisa Lisa
www.doctorlisalove.com
Monday, February 23, 2009
Receive, Accept and Express
As you begin this day go within and feel the emerging presence of a power that is at one with the calling of your heart. Connect with that power from a mindset that is free from any thought of lack and limitation grounded in consciousness of infinite possibility. Know that whatever it s that you are seeking when you are open and willing to receive all good things will come your way and exactly what it is you are seeking will be seeking you. There will be a perfect harmony being played and you will hear it loud and clear. When you begin to accept the truth that everywhere you look an opportunity is presenting itself you begin to look at life with a new set of fresh eyes. Nothing will hold you back because everything is here to support you and is designed to give you all you need to express yourself in a confident and powerful way. The key to LIFE is to give yourself permission to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS all the divine intelligence that is calling you to be more and more of who you are.
The thought of anything other than greatness and excellence is just a mere mirage of what is the real truth about who you are. Everything you are is excellence, magnificence, brilliance, genius, unconditional love and unlimited divine intelligence. The DNA of your being is one of perfection. There is nothing that needs to be fixed about you. Rather all YOU need to do is to awaken to these truths about who you are. When you do every day beginning with today will be one of glorious and spectacular accomplishments. Everything will be in alignment with the vision you have for yourself. Your purpose will be passionately expressed because you are willing to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS the calling of your life through all the actions you take. You will make all the right choices and the world before you will open up into the divine garden of creativity and infinite imagination that is always present. YOU are ready to s tep into it and capture the perfect essence of who you are.
"What you are thinking right now will guide you towards your dream. Is it a positive expression of who you are? Make sure you make it one."
I AM willing to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS my true calling
My LIFE is a perfect expression of divine intelligence
I see hear and feel the presence of my excellence and magnificence
I AM in the flow of life and LIFE flows through ME
I know all things are possible for I AM Infinite possibility
I step into the brilliance of all my creativity powerfully
It's your day...MAKE IT A GREAT ONE!
-Paul Hoffman
The thought of anything other than greatness and excellence is just a mere mirage of what is the real truth about who you are. Everything you are is excellence, magnificence, brilliance, genius, unconditional love and unlimited divine intelligence. The DNA of your being is one of perfection. There is nothing that needs to be fixed about you. Rather all YOU need to do is to awaken to these truths about who you are. When you do every day beginning with today will be one of glorious and spectacular accomplishments. Everything will be in alignment with the vision you have for yourself. Your purpose will be passionately expressed because you are willing to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS the calling of your life through all the actions you take. You will make all the right choices and the world before you will open up into the divine garden of creativity and infinite imagination that is always present. YOU are ready to s tep into it and capture the perfect essence of who you are.
"What you are thinking right now will guide you towards your dream. Is it a positive expression of who you are? Make sure you make it one."
I AM willing to RECEIVE, ACCEPT AND EXPRESS my true calling
My LIFE is a perfect expression of divine intelligence
I see hear and feel the presence of my excellence and magnificence
I AM in the flow of life and LIFE flows through ME
I know all things are possible for I AM Infinite possibility
I step into the brilliance of all my creativity powerfully
It's your day...MAKE IT A GREAT ONE!
-Paul Hoffman
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