Top 10 List For A Happier And Healthier 2013 For HSPs
Read more: http://www.hsphealth.com/blog/2013/01/top-10-list-for-a-happier-2013/#ixzz2LC3fAnkE
Showing posts with label healthy relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy relationships. Show all posts
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Top 10 List For A Happier And Healthier 2013 For HSPs
Highly sensitive people often have trouble
taking care of themselves and seeing themselves as valuable. Usually it
is because they have been taught that being sensitive makes them
defective. It is important to realize that being sensitive is not a
defect but a gift. When you do you can see yourself and your life in a
more positive light then you can move on to taking care of yourself and
your relationships in a more empowered way.
Top 10 List For A Happier And Healthier 2013 For HSPs
Read more: http://www.hsphealth.com/blog/2013/01/top-10-list-for-a-happier-2013/#ixzz2LC3fAnkE
Top 10 List For A Happier And Healthier 2013 For HSPs
Read more: http://www.hsphealth.com/blog/2013/01/top-10-list-for-a-happier-2013/#ixzz2LC3fAnkE
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
PARTNERSHIP
Today more couples than ever identify as life partners.
The term points to the fact that your significant other shares a proportional
part of your life. They are not your whole life, otherwise the bond might be
called wholenership rather than partnership! In relationship,
we share part of our lives, we share part of our day. We each do our part.
Intimate sharing is reciprocal, appropriate and measured.
To know and be known doesn't mean sharing everything there is to know. In
fact, too much information can easily overwhelm a relationship as much as not
enough sharing causes emotional distance. Taking part is both quantitative
and qualitative -- it involves real time spent together in a healthy
way.
You might have experienced unhealthy models of 'being part
of' a relationship in the past, such as in your family of origin. Sometimes
parents didn't do their part, or they didn't allow anyone else's part. What
was your model for being part of something, for being in a partnership? What
is your ideal partnership today, and how do you communicate your innermost
relational values?
|
CHS Meditations (Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CST, CSAT / Tom
Bliss) chsmeditations@gmail.com
Thursday, April 26, 2012
"Think what it would be like to go about your day with your mind filled only with happy and loving thoughts..."
"Think what it would be like to go about your day with your mind filled
only with happy and loving thoughts. Everyone you meet has a smile and a
glow of happiness about him or her. There is no sickness, no hunger, no
conflict or lack, no time and no death. Peace has replaced fear
everywhere. This is our world when forgiveness has come and we are free
to love again." - The Miracle of Real Forgiveness by Tom Carpenter
The Forgiveness Movement
The Forgiveness Movement
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
To thine own self be true
Shakespeare said that many years ago. Being true to yourself actually is the first step to doing anything for others. You can only give out what you have so fill up on love, joy, self respect. When you are aware of your own needs and meet those within yourself you then have that to share with others in your life.
Often people deal with burn out from doing too much and spreading their energy too thin. We live in a very fast paced world and it’s easy to just do too much and not take care of you. You are important. As a mother your patience, wisdom and understanding are dependent upon your taking care of yourself and your emotional, physical and spiritual needs.
A long bath with a good book, sitting in the back yard watching the birds, going for a long and relaxing walk are all wonderful ways to connect yourself to balance.
Buy yourself a vase full of flowers and delight in their color, texture and scent. Love yourself well.. I say that to each person I meet and for a very good reason. You will have more to share with others when you are being good to yourself.
Making sure you get food that satisfies the body, mind and spirit, rest that restores physical and mental energy, down time to restore the soul; all these fill you up with energy and the more full you are the more you have to give and the more you enjoy your life experience.
The reason so many are creating experiences they don’t enjoy is they are just plain tired, worn out, drained and that gives way to frustration. Frustration creates more to feel that way about.
Being good to yourself is the fastest way to create beauty in your life and guarantees you have plenty of love, respect and kindness to share with others.
How do you feed your soul?
Donna DeVane
http://secretdesigncreationsblog.com/
Often people deal with burn out from doing too much and spreading their energy too thin. We live in a very fast paced world and it’s easy to just do too much and not take care of you. You are important. As a mother your patience, wisdom and understanding are dependent upon your taking care of yourself and your emotional, physical and spiritual needs.
A long bath with a good book, sitting in the back yard watching the birds, going for a long and relaxing walk are all wonderful ways to connect yourself to balance.
Buy yourself a vase full of flowers and delight in their color, texture and scent. Love yourself well.. I say that to each person I meet and for a very good reason. You will have more to share with others when you are being good to yourself.
Making sure you get food that satisfies the body, mind and spirit, rest that restores physical and mental energy, down time to restore the soul; all these fill you up with energy and the more full you are the more you have to give and the more you enjoy your life experience.
The reason so many are creating experiences they don’t enjoy is they are just plain tired, worn out, drained and that gives way to frustration. Frustration creates more to feel that way about.
Being good to yourself is the fastest way to create beauty in your life and guarantees you have plenty of love, respect and kindness to share with others.
How do you feed your soul?
Donna DeVane
http://secretdesigncreationsblog.com/
Friday, April 30, 2010
Women and Self Esteem
Women and Self Esteem
By Maggie Vlazny, MSW, LCSW
What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, chances are that you have a problem with self esteem. Why is that? Why do so many of us basically dislike ourselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves?
Before answering this question, we must first define self-esteem. Self esteem comes from the inside out. It means that a woman is not dependent upon anyone else to make her feel good about herself, because she already knows she's fine just the way she is. She is confident and aware of her strengths and abilities. She wants to share them with others.
This does not mean she is conceited. She is also aware of areas needing work and growth. But that's OK, because she knows she's not perfect, and she doesn't have to be. No one is. She understands that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Self-esteem is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy. Once achieved, it comes from the inside out. But it is assaulted or stunted from the outside in. A woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself because she has absorbed negative messages about women from the culture and/or relationships.
The reign of youth, beauty and thinness in our society dooms every woman to eventual failure. Womens magazines, starting with the teenage market, program them to focus all their efforts on their appearance. Many girls learn, by age 12, to drop formerly enjoyable activities in favor of the beauty treadmill leading to nowhere. They become fanatical about diets. They munch, like rabbits, on leaves without salad dressing, jog in ice storms, and swear they love it! Ads abound for cosmetic surgery, enticing us to "repair" our aging bodies, as if the natural process of aging were an accident or a disease. Yet with all this effort, they still never feel like they are good enough.
How can they? Magazine models are airbrushed to perfection, and anorexic. "Beautiful" movie stars are whipped into perfect shape by personal trainers, and use surgery to create an unnatural cultural ideal. But youth cannot last. It is not meant to. If women buy into this image of beauty, then the best an older woman can strive for is looking "good for her age" or worse yet, "well preserved". Mummies are well preserved. Mummies are also dead.
Abusive experiences join with cultural messages to assault female self esteem. Abuse is pervasive and cuts across all socioeconomic lines. It invariably sends the message that the victim is worthless. Many, many women have told me that verbal abuse has hurt them far more than any physical act. As one woman put it, "his words scarred my soul". Women whose abuse started as children have the most fragile sense of identity and self worth.
Poor self esteem often results in depression and anxiety. Physical health suffers as well. Many times, women with this problem don't go for regular checkups, exercise, or take personal days because they really don't think they're worth the time.
Relationships are impacted as well. Their needs are not met by their partner because they feel like they don't deserve to have them met, or are uncomfortable asking. Their relationships with children can suffer if they are unable to discipline effectively, set limits, or demand the respect they deserve. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from mother to daughter.The mother is modeling what a woman is. She is also modeling, for her sons, what a wife is.
In the workplace, women with low self-esteem tend to be self-deprecating, to minimize their accomplishments, or let others take credit for their work. They never move up. Finally, with friends, they are unable to say no. They end up doing favors they don't want to do, or have any time for. They end up going where they don't want to go, with people they don't want to go with! A woman with low self-esteem has no control over her life. But that can change. These women can get help and emotional healing.
It is critical to remember that no one deserves to be abused. If something bad has happened to you, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. The responsibility for the abuse lies with the person who chooses to hurt you. If you are presently being abused, you must put yours and your children safety first. If you think you are in danger, you can call your state domestic violence hotline number. NJ STATEWIDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1-800-572-7233.
You can choose your own identity. You can discard the popular cultural image and replace it with something real. As I read someplace once, "We are bound by our fate only as long as we accept the values that determine it."
Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself.
By Maggie Vlazny, MSW, LCSW
What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, chances are that you have a problem with self esteem. Why is that? Why do so many of us basically dislike ourselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves?
Before answering this question, we must first define self-esteem. Self esteem comes from the inside out. It means that a woman is not dependent upon anyone else to make her feel good about herself, because she already knows she's fine just the way she is. She is confident and aware of her strengths and abilities. She wants to share them with others.
This does not mean she is conceited. She is also aware of areas needing work and growth. But that's OK, because she knows she's not perfect, and she doesn't have to be. No one is. She understands that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Self-esteem is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy. Once achieved, it comes from the inside out. But it is assaulted or stunted from the outside in. A woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself because she has absorbed negative messages about women from the culture and/or relationships.
The reign of youth, beauty and thinness in our society dooms every woman to eventual failure. Womens magazines, starting with the teenage market, program them to focus all their efforts on their appearance. Many girls learn, by age 12, to drop formerly enjoyable activities in favor of the beauty treadmill leading to nowhere. They become fanatical about diets. They munch, like rabbits, on leaves without salad dressing, jog in ice storms, and swear they love it! Ads abound for cosmetic surgery, enticing us to "repair" our aging bodies, as if the natural process of aging were an accident or a disease. Yet with all this effort, they still never feel like they are good enough.
How can they? Magazine models are airbrushed to perfection, and anorexic. "Beautiful" movie stars are whipped into perfect shape by personal trainers, and use surgery to create an unnatural cultural ideal. But youth cannot last. It is not meant to. If women buy into this image of beauty, then the best an older woman can strive for is looking "good for her age" or worse yet, "well preserved". Mummies are well preserved. Mummies are also dead.
Abusive experiences join with cultural messages to assault female self esteem. Abuse is pervasive and cuts across all socioeconomic lines. It invariably sends the message that the victim is worthless. Many, many women have told me that verbal abuse has hurt them far more than any physical act. As one woman put it, "his words scarred my soul". Women whose abuse started as children have the most fragile sense of identity and self worth.
Poor self esteem often results in depression and anxiety. Physical health suffers as well. Many times, women with this problem don't go for regular checkups, exercise, or take personal days because they really don't think they're worth the time.
Relationships are impacted as well. Their needs are not met by their partner because they feel like they don't deserve to have them met, or are uncomfortable asking. Their relationships with children can suffer if they are unable to discipline effectively, set limits, or demand the respect they deserve. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from mother to daughter.The mother is modeling what a woman is. She is also modeling, for her sons, what a wife is.
In the workplace, women with low self-esteem tend to be self-deprecating, to minimize their accomplishments, or let others take credit for their work. They never move up. Finally, with friends, they are unable to say no. They end up doing favors they don't want to do, or have any time for. They end up going where they don't want to go, with people they don't want to go with! A woman with low self-esteem has no control over her life. But that can change. These women can get help and emotional healing.
It is critical to remember that no one deserves to be abused. If something bad has happened to you, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. The responsibility for the abuse lies with the person who chooses to hurt you. If you are presently being abused, you must put yours and your children safety first. If you think you are in danger, you can call your state domestic violence hotline number. NJ STATEWIDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1-800-572-7233.
You can choose your own identity. You can discard the popular cultural image and replace it with something real. As I read someplace once, "We are bound by our fate only as long as we accept the values that determine it."
Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Tall Poppy Syndrome
The Tall Poppy Syndrome
by Michael Webb Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships
In Australia there is a phrase "the tall poppy syndrome." It describes the condition when a person is uncomfortable if one flower raises its head too far above the rest. They think it looks unnatural, so what do they do - they cut it down to the level of the other flowers.
Do you have the same habit with your loved ones? Some people have the hardest time letting others take some praise. If our coworker gets a promotion we tease them about what devious things they did to get it. If our brothers and sisters brought home better report cards we discounted the difficulty of the classes they took. We find it hard to accept that some people are going to naturally rise above others. That person might even be a spouse who makes more money, has a better physique, more friends, or is better educated.
We also have this nasty habit of cutting down all the poppies around us if we are feeling particularly low about ourselves. I remember when my sister made a rude comment about my thinning hair so I launched back an equally unkind comment about her thickening waist. We could have acted more maturely and watered each other with kind comments and encouraging remarks, but ignorantly we were tearing up the flower garden so no one could enjoy its beauty.
Do you like to insult (talk trash, 'dis, cut, slice) others? Does it make you feel like your poppy has grown higher? My personal peeve is when spouses spout insults about each other in front of their friends. They think their clever but insulting remarks will make their flower look prettier but in reality your mate's flower is wrapped around yours. If you cut theirs down, yours will be butchered too. Whoever came up with the "sticks and stones" phrase wasn't very bright. Insults are verbal sticks and stones and they can tear up a field of beautiful poppies in no time.
by Michael Webb Author, 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships
In Australia there is a phrase "the tall poppy syndrome." It describes the condition when a person is uncomfortable if one flower raises its head too far above the rest. They think it looks unnatural, so what do they do - they cut it down to the level of the other flowers.
Do you have the same habit with your loved ones? Some people have the hardest time letting others take some praise. If our coworker gets a promotion we tease them about what devious things they did to get it. If our brothers and sisters brought home better report cards we discounted the difficulty of the classes they took. We find it hard to accept that some people are going to naturally rise above others. That person might even be a spouse who makes more money, has a better physique, more friends, or is better educated.
We also have this nasty habit of cutting down all the poppies around us if we are feeling particularly low about ourselves. I remember when my sister made a rude comment about my thinning hair so I launched back an equally unkind comment about her thickening waist. We could have acted more maturely and watered each other with kind comments and encouraging remarks, but ignorantly we were tearing up the flower garden so no one could enjoy its beauty.
Do you like to insult (talk trash, 'dis, cut, slice) others? Does it make you feel like your poppy has grown higher? My personal peeve is when spouses spout insults about each other in front of their friends. They think their clever but insulting remarks will make their flower look prettier but in reality your mate's flower is wrapped around yours. If you cut theirs down, yours will be butchered too. Whoever came up with the "sticks and stones" phrase wasn't very bright. Insults are verbal sticks and stones and they can tear up a field of beautiful poppies in no time.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Energy Vampires Be Gone by Pam Thomas
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt
...we are going to be slaying (not literally) energy vampires. Before we delve into ways to help protect you from getting it in the neck, let’s briefly explore some of the behaviors and characteristics of an energy vampire. Energy vampires are those folks that:
*
Always take more than they give
*
See the glass as half empty a good majority of the time
*
Like to share their woes and gain support, but are very rarely around or have time to listen to others
*
Often think, “What about me? What do I get?”
*
Talk a lot about themselves and rarely express interest in hearing/learning about others
*
Want others to pick up the pieces and clean up the messes they make
*
Rarely take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors
*
Have a victim mentality
*
Are very critical of all that you do
As you continue to travel through life you will come across people who are so centered deeply in self that they are always looking for support from others, always talking about who they are, what they’re doing, and who they are involved with, without much thought to the person they deem as a friend, lover, or colleague. Energy vampires will suck the life force out of you if you let them.
Do you know of anyone in your life that demonstrates any of the characteristics and behaviors described above? If so, let’s start protecting your energy stat!
TIPS AND EXERCISES FOR PROTECTING YOUR ENERGY FROM ENERGY VAMPIRES
1) Dealing with energy vampires requires first (and probably most important) an understanding that everyone is where they need to be at that given moment. You may not like what the person is doing or even who they are, but being able to accept them and accept where they are will help you to protect your own energy.
2) Draw boundaries and uphold them. There are three main components to drawing boundaries and all three should be present in order for a boundary to protect you from an energy vampire.
a. Establish the boundary and the consequences if the boundary is crossed. For example, one boundary might be not allowing another to be critical of you and what you do. The consequence is to stop the current conversation.
b. Educate the person you are setting the boundary with as to the boundary and the consequences. For example, “It truly makes me feel bad when you criticize me so I am asking you to please stop. If the criticism continues I am going to stop the conversation and speak with you at a later time.”
c. Be consistent in upholding the boundary set. No one will take a boundary seriously if the boundary is not upheld.
3) Speak your truth. Sometimes all it takes is telling someone how you feel in a constructive and loving way. You may find the person is not even aware of their energy-zapping behavior and once made aware will endeavor to change it.
4) Cut the ties that bind. Don't be afraid that if you cut loose an energy vampire that you will be deemed as selfish and uncaring. By removing or limiting contact with an energy vampire you are creating the space to attract people in your life who are willing to equally give and receive. Oh, and here is the fabulous part, by cutting the ties you are sending a strong message to the Universe and those around; that message is that you matter and that you want people in your life who support you just as much as you support them.
5) Inventory YOU. Is there an area of your life where you are being an energy vampire yourself? Just by recognizing where we may be sucking energy helps us to become more aware of when someone is doing the same.
I am here to tell you that it is OK (more than OK) to preserve energy for you...to receive. Healthy relationships whether they are romantic, friendship based, or business all need and deserve to have a healthy balance. My wish for you is to treat your energy as a precious commodity.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Peace, Love, and lots of Energy,
Pam
Pam Thomas, Author and Publisher
...we are going to be slaying (not literally) energy vampires. Before we delve into ways to help protect you from getting it in the neck, let’s briefly explore some of the behaviors and characteristics of an energy vampire. Energy vampires are those folks that:
*
Always take more than they give
*
See the glass as half empty a good majority of the time
*
Like to share their woes and gain support, but are very rarely around or have time to listen to others
*
Often think, “What about me? What do I get?”
*
Talk a lot about themselves and rarely express interest in hearing/learning about others
*
Want others to pick up the pieces and clean up the messes they make
*
Rarely take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors
*
Have a victim mentality
*
Are very critical of all that you do
As you continue to travel through life you will come across people who are so centered deeply in self that they are always looking for support from others, always talking about who they are, what they’re doing, and who they are involved with, without much thought to the person they deem as a friend, lover, or colleague. Energy vampires will suck the life force out of you if you let them.
Do you know of anyone in your life that demonstrates any of the characteristics and behaviors described above? If so, let’s start protecting your energy stat!
TIPS AND EXERCISES FOR PROTECTING YOUR ENERGY FROM ENERGY VAMPIRES
1) Dealing with energy vampires requires first (and probably most important) an understanding that everyone is where they need to be at that given moment. You may not like what the person is doing or even who they are, but being able to accept them and accept where they are will help you to protect your own energy.
2) Draw boundaries and uphold them. There are three main components to drawing boundaries and all three should be present in order for a boundary to protect you from an energy vampire.
a. Establish the boundary and the consequences if the boundary is crossed. For example, one boundary might be not allowing another to be critical of you and what you do. The consequence is to stop the current conversation.
b. Educate the person you are setting the boundary with as to the boundary and the consequences. For example, “It truly makes me feel bad when you criticize me so I am asking you to please stop. If the criticism continues I am going to stop the conversation and speak with you at a later time.”
c. Be consistent in upholding the boundary set. No one will take a boundary seriously if the boundary is not upheld.
3) Speak your truth. Sometimes all it takes is telling someone how you feel in a constructive and loving way. You may find the person is not even aware of their energy-zapping behavior and once made aware will endeavor to change it.
4) Cut the ties that bind. Don't be afraid that if you cut loose an energy vampire that you will be deemed as selfish and uncaring. By removing or limiting contact with an energy vampire you are creating the space to attract people in your life who are willing to equally give and receive. Oh, and here is the fabulous part, by cutting the ties you are sending a strong message to the Universe and those around; that message is that you matter and that you want people in your life who support you just as much as you support them.
5) Inventory YOU. Is there an area of your life where you are being an energy vampire yourself? Just by recognizing where we may be sucking energy helps us to become more aware of when someone is doing the same.
I am here to tell you that it is OK (more than OK) to preserve energy for you...to receive. Healthy relationships whether they are romantic, friendship based, or business all need and deserve to have a healthy balance. My wish for you is to treat your energy as a precious commodity.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Peace, Love, and lots of Energy,
Pam
Pam Thomas, Author and Publisher
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