To respond or to react, that's the question.
By Pam Thomas
Phoenix Life Coach Examiner
Think about the last time you were involved in a discussion or argument where you reacted. How did you show up in that exchange? Prickly? Angry? Defensive? Powerless? Personally, when I am being reactive I become susceptible to all sorts of negativity.
As a matter of fact, I have to raise my hand and admit that I have fallen prey to the guiles of victimhood/reactive-ness most recently. I allowed someone else’s poor behavior and negativity to throw me into a bit of tizzy. (What a tizzy it was too with f-bombs included.) Fortunately, during my little visit to the dungeons of victimhood/reactive-ness I remembered something very important; I have a choice as to whether or not I want to allow someone else’s crap behavior (which I have no control over) to impact me. I also came to the realization that the negativity that was making my heart heavy and zapping my power was also leaving me susceptible to getting sucked into further drama, chaos, and unhealthiness of the situation.
The bottom line; when we don't react, we detach from the negative charge. We hold on to our own personal power, a.k.a we don't allow something or someone else to make us feel small or insignificant or worse yet a victim to the circumstances.
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So here are few things to try when you find yourself reacting rather than responding:
During "heated" times try taking a deep breath, sit quietly for a moment, and give yourself that time to settle your emotions. Doing something as simple as breathing deeply will help you to come from that place of responsiveness where words are chosen with care and thoughts are clearer.
If you have to, excuse yourself from the conversation by letting the other person know that you would like to table the discussion and give it some thought.
Allow your emotions or the signals of your body (i.e. tension) to serve as your trigger and then ask yourself the following question, “What do I choose right now?” When you remember that you have a choice, you take back your own personal power to respond.
Whatever you choose it can be truly liberating and rather powerful to come from a place of responsiveness rather than reactive-ness. In addition, you avoid the drama and chaos and experience much more peace and positive well-being so here's to the power of responding.
Showing posts with label Pam Thomas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pam Thomas. Show all posts
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Monday, January 11, 2010
Energy Vampires Be Gone by Pam Thomas
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt
...we are going to be slaying (not literally) energy vampires. Before we delve into ways to help protect you from getting it in the neck, let’s briefly explore some of the behaviors and characteristics of an energy vampire. Energy vampires are those folks that:
*
Always take more than they give
*
See the glass as half empty a good majority of the time
*
Like to share their woes and gain support, but are very rarely around or have time to listen to others
*
Often think, “What about me? What do I get?”
*
Talk a lot about themselves and rarely express interest in hearing/learning about others
*
Want others to pick up the pieces and clean up the messes they make
*
Rarely take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors
*
Have a victim mentality
*
Are very critical of all that you do
As you continue to travel through life you will come across people who are so centered deeply in self that they are always looking for support from others, always talking about who they are, what they’re doing, and who they are involved with, without much thought to the person they deem as a friend, lover, or colleague. Energy vampires will suck the life force out of you if you let them.
Do you know of anyone in your life that demonstrates any of the characteristics and behaviors described above? If so, let’s start protecting your energy stat!
TIPS AND EXERCISES FOR PROTECTING YOUR ENERGY FROM ENERGY VAMPIRES
1) Dealing with energy vampires requires first (and probably most important) an understanding that everyone is where they need to be at that given moment. You may not like what the person is doing or even who they are, but being able to accept them and accept where they are will help you to protect your own energy.
2) Draw boundaries and uphold them. There are three main components to drawing boundaries and all three should be present in order for a boundary to protect you from an energy vampire.
a. Establish the boundary and the consequences if the boundary is crossed. For example, one boundary might be not allowing another to be critical of you and what you do. The consequence is to stop the current conversation.
b. Educate the person you are setting the boundary with as to the boundary and the consequences. For example, “It truly makes me feel bad when you criticize me so I am asking you to please stop. If the criticism continues I am going to stop the conversation and speak with you at a later time.”
c. Be consistent in upholding the boundary set. No one will take a boundary seriously if the boundary is not upheld.
3) Speak your truth. Sometimes all it takes is telling someone how you feel in a constructive and loving way. You may find the person is not even aware of their energy-zapping behavior and once made aware will endeavor to change it.
4) Cut the ties that bind. Don't be afraid that if you cut loose an energy vampire that you will be deemed as selfish and uncaring. By removing or limiting contact with an energy vampire you are creating the space to attract people in your life who are willing to equally give and receive. Oh, and here is the fabulous part, by cutting the ties you are sending a strong message to the Universe and those around; that message is that you matter and that you want people in your life who support you just as much as you support them.
5) Inventory YOU. Is there an area of your life where you are being an energy vampire yourself? Just by recognizing where we may be sucking energy helps us to become more aware of when someone is doing the same.
I am here to tell you that it is OK (more than OK) to preserve energy for you...to receive. Healthy relationships whether they are romantic, friendship based, or business all need and deserve to have a healthy balance. My wish for you is to treat your energy as a precious commodity.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Peace, Love, and lots of Energy,
Pam
Pam Thomas, Author and Publisher
...we are going to be slaying (not literally) energy vampires. Before we delve into ways to help protect you from getting it in the neck, let’s briefly explore some of the behaviors and characteristics of an energy vampire. Energy vampires are those folks that:
*
Always take more than they give
*
See the glass as half empty a good majority of the time
*
Like to share their woes and gain support, but are very rarely around or have time to listen to others
*
Often think, “What about me? What do I get?”
*
Talk a lot about themselves and rarely express interest in hearing/learning about others
*
Want others to pick up the pieces and clean up the messes they make
*
Rarely take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors
*
Have a victim mentality
*
Are very critical of all that you do
As you continue to travel through life you will come across people who are so centered deeply in self that they are always looking for support from others, always talking about who they are, what they’re doing, and who they are involved with, without much thought to the person they deem as a friend, lover, or colleague. Energy vampires will suck the life force out of you if you let them.
Do you know of anyone in your life that demonstrates any of the characteristics and behaviors described above? If so, let’s start protecting your energy stat!
TIPS AND EXERCISES FOR PROTECTING YOUR ENERGY FROM ENERGY VAMPIRES
1) Dealing with energy vampires requires first (and probably most important) an understanding that everyone is where they need to be at that given moment. You may not like what the person is doing or even who they are, but being able to accept them and accept where they are will help you to protect your own energy.
2) Draw boundaries and uphold them. There are three main components to drawing boundaries and all three should be present in order for a boundary to protect you from an energy vampire.
a. Establish the boundary and the consequences if the boundary is crossed. For example, one boundary might be not allowing another to be critical of you and what you do. The consequence is to stop the current conversation.
b. Educate the person you are setting the boundary with as to the boundary and the consequences. For example, “It truly makes me feel bad when you criticize me so I am asking you to please stop. If the criticism continues I am going to stop the conversation and speak with you at a later time.”
c. Be consistent in upholding the boundary set. No one will take a boundary seriously if the boundary is not upheld.
3) Speak your truth. Sometimes all it takes is telling someone how you feel in a constructive and loving way. You may find the person is not even aware of their energy-zapping behavior and once made aware will endeavor to change it.
4) Cut the ties that bind. Don't be afraid that if you cut loose an energy vampire that you will be deemed as selfish and uncaring. By removing or limiting contact with an energy vampire you are creating the space to attract people in your life who are willing to equally give and receive. Oh, and here is the fabulous part, by cutting the ties you are sending a strong message to the Universe and those around; that message is that you matter and that you want people in your life who support you just as much as you support them.
5) Inventory YOU. Is there an area of your life where you are being an energy vampire yourself? Just by recognizing where we may be sucking energy helps us to become more aware of when someone is doing the same.
I am here to tell you that it is OK (more than OK) to preserve energy for you...to receive. Healthy relationships whether they are romantic, friendship based, or business all need and deserve to have a healthy balance. My wish for you is to treat your energy as a precious commodity.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Peace, Love, and lots of Energy,
Pam
Pam Thomas, Author and Publisher
Monday, September 21, 2009
Happiness is an inside job by Pam Thomas
Happiness is an inside job by Pam Thomas
"Happiness doesn't depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much." William Dempster Hoard
Happiness truly is an internal "thing" that radiates from the inside out. We can say that we will be happy once we have the bigger bank account, the larger house, the fast car, the great significant other; the bottom line is, if we aren't truly happy being who we are the external "stuff" won't mean a thing. Think about it. We truly don't have to search far for happiness, nor do we have to depend on others or things to supply that happiness.
Instead...
1) Take stock of the things that you currently have and express your gratitude. For example, "I am grateful for the roof I have over my head." "I am grateful for the food that is on my table."
As a matter of fact, for the next 21 days share five things you are grateful for and do so in the morning before your feet hit the floor and at night before you go to sleep. You can write them down in a journal or say what you are grateful to yourself; sharing gratitude for the things that you already have not only promotes happiness, but it helps you to attract more of the good "stuff".
2) Make a point each day to do something that brings you joy. It doesn't have to be anything that requires a lot of time or even money, it just has to be something that lights you up on the inside. For example, playing some upbeat dance music, reading the comic's page of the newspaper, or watching a funny movie.
3) Get outside in the sunshine. A great way to lift a mood and create happiness is to be out in the sun for about 15 minutes.
4) Get moving. Exercise and movement is an awesome way to increase the chemicals in your brain that promote happiness. Dance, walk, jog, or even skip...just get moving.
5) Stop the negative self talk. Saying negative things about yourself will only diminish your own happiness. Instead, find one thing that you really like about you and focus on that one thing. Do you have a kind heart? Are your eyes a pretty color?
Whatever you choose, just remember that happiness is a choice you make and solely dependent upon you.
"Happiness doesn't depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much." William Dempster Hoard
Happiness truly is an internal "thing" that radiates from the inside out. We can say that we will be happy once we have the bigger bank account, the larger house, the fast car, the great significant other; the bottom line is, if we aren't truly happy being who we are the external "stuff" won't mean a thing. Think about it. We truly don't have to search far for happiness, nor do we have to depend on others or things to supply that happiness.
Instead...
1) Take stock of the things that you currently have and express your gratitude. For example, "I am grateful for the roof I have over my head." "I am grateful for the food that is on my table."
As a matter of fact, for the next 21 days share five things you are grateful for and do so in the morning before your feet hit the floor and at night before you go to sleep. You can write them down in a journal or say what you are grateful to yourself; sharing gratitude for the things that you already have not only promotes happiness, but it helps you to attract more of the good "stuff".
2) Make a point each day to do something that brings you joy. It doesn't have to be anything that requires a lot of time or even money, it just has to be something that lights you up on the inside. For example, playing some upbeat dance music, reading the comic's page of the newspaper, or watching a funny movie.
3) Get outside in the sunshine. A great way to lift a mood and create happiness is to be out in the sun for about 15 minutes.
4) Get moving. Exercise and movement is an awesome way to increase the chemicals in your brain that promote happiness. Dance, walk, jog, or even skip...just get moving.
5) Stop the negative self talk. Saying negative things about yourself will only diminish your own happiness. Instead, find one thing that you really like about you and focus on that one thing. Do you have a kind heart? Are your eyes a pretty color?
Whatever you choose, just remember that happiness is a choice you make and solely dependent upon you.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Who turned off the power? - Pam Thomas
Who turned off the power? -Pam Thomas
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt
It is true that no one has the right to make us feel powerless or less of a person. NO ONE! And while it is a bitter pill to sometimes swallow, we do have a say or choice in how someone makes us feel. With that said, then why is it so easy to feel inferior or powerless?
There could be many reasons:
* Maybe someone we loved put us down and because we loved them, we believed them. (Hey, people we love and/or love us know us best, right? NOT ALWAYS.)
* Maybe it is because we have always been afraid to stand up for ourselves in fear we would rock the boat or make someone angry.
* Maybe it is because we spend time comparing ourselves with others and wishing we had what they have.
* Maybe it is because we just don't trust ourselves and our abilities.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, please don't despair because reclaiming your personal power is absolutely possible. Give the following a whirl and see what happens:
1) Make a list of your MANY amazing attributes. (Yes, you have many!!) You should even write down all the attributes you wish to have.
2) As you write, if your inner-critic or self-doubter (that little contradictory voice) rears its head, thank it for its contributions and then tell it to be quiet. Please be sure just to keep writing!
3) Take your list and over the next 90 days read your list to yourself five times in the morning and five times at night before bed.
4) Say to yourself as often as possible, "It's none of my business what other people think of me, but it is my business what I think of me." It's true, you can't control what others think so why be held hostage by their thoughts or give away your power to those thoughts?
Just remember, you do have the power and no one has the right to turn it off.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt
It is true that no one has the right to make us feel powerless or less of a person. NO ONE! And while it is a bitter pill to sometimes swallow, we do have a say or choice in how someone makes us feel. With that said, then why is it so easy to feel inferior or powerless?
There could be many reasons:
* Maybe someone we loved put us down and because we loved them, we believed them. (Hey, people we love and/or love us know us best, right? NOT ALWAYS.)
* Maybe it is because we have always been afraid to stand up for ourselves in fear we would rock the boat or make someone angry.
* Maybe it is because we spend time comparing ourselves with others and wishing we had what they have.
* Maybe it is because we just don't trust ourselves and our abilities.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, please don't despair because reclaiming your personal power is absolutely possible. Give the following a whirl and see what happens:
1) Make a list of your MANY amazing attributes. (Yes, you have many!!) You should even write down all the attributes you wish to have.
2) As you write, if your inner-critic or self-doubter (that little contradictory voice) rears its head, thank it for its contributions and then tell it to be quiet. Please be sure just to keep writing!
3) Take your list and over the next 90 days read your list to yourself five times in the morning and five times at night before bed.
4) Say to yourself as often as possible, "It's none of my business what other people think of me, but it is my business what I think of me." It's true, you can't control what others think so why be held hostage by their thoughts or give away your power to those thoughts?
Just remember, you do have the power and no one has the right to turn it off.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Shoulda, woulda, coulda by Pam Thomas
Shoulda, woulda, coulda by Pam Thomas
"I should ..."
"I would have ..."
"I could have ..."
Does the beginning of those three sentences sound familiar? Let’s flesh them out a bit more in case you don't recognize them.
"I should lose weight."
"I would have been happier if I had been more successful in my last job."
"I could have done a better job if she hadn’t distracted me and made me angry."
What do you think now? Kinda familiar like an old pair of shoes two sizes too small?
Not to worry, you aren’t alone. We all shoulda, woulda, coulda all over ourselves particularly when it comes to goals, dreams, and intentions. Here’s the good news, when it comes to goals, dreams and intentions, believe it or not, the shoulda, woulda, couldas serve a valuable purpose; they are great little indicators as to how important what we are trying to achieve is to us personally.
Yep, that's right, they are our own little pocket gauges but sadly we don't use them as such. We often use them as the proverbial 2x4 upside the head. OUCH! A means to make us feel wronged or worse, feel like failures.
So I'd like to ask you to do me a HUGE favor right here, right now (it's a three part favor, by the way). The first part of the favor is to step away from the 2x4, put it away, shred it in the wood shredder, burn it on a bonfire. Do whatever you need to do, just get rid of it. The next thing is that you become aware of your shoulda, woulda, coulda vernacular. And the last part of the favor is, if you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing all over yourself, please ask yourself one of the following questions;
- "On a scale of 1-10 (one being a low score) how important is this goal, dream or intention to me?"
If your response is a 5 or less, please be honest with yourself, how likely are you to carry out whatever it is you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing yourself over? Things that score low on the importance scale also score low on the priority scale and are more likely to be placed on the backburner, in the back of the closet, or stuffed in the back of our minds.
- "Is this something I wish to do or something someone said I should do?"
Let's face it, when we are trying to accomplish a goal that is someone else's and not our own, we are less likely to see it through to fruition. Why? Because it's not ours. It is not in alignment with who we are and our core values.
- "How will this serve me in being my best self?"
If your answer is, “It won't" then please reconsider your reasoning for trying to take action on a goal, dream, or intention that will not serve you.
Here is to using the shoulda, woulda, couldas as success tools, (as opposed to the opposite) until you don't need them anymore.
"I should ..."
"I would have ..."
"I could have ..."
Does the beginning of those three sentences sound familiar? Let’s flesh them out a bit more in case you don't recognize them.
"I should lose weight."
"I would have been happier if I had been more successful in my last job."
"I could have done a better job if she hadn’t distracted me and made me angry."
What do you think now? Kinda familiar like an old pair of shoes two sizes too small?
Not to worry, you aren’t alone. We all shoulda, woulda, coulda all over ourselves particularly when it comes to goals, dreams, and intentions. Here’s the good news, when it comes to goals, dreams and intentions, believe it or not, the shoulda, woulda, couldas serve a valuable purpose; they are great little indicators as to how important what we are trying to achieve is to us personally.
Yep, that's right, they are our own little pocket gauges but sadly we don't use them as such. We often use them as the proverbial 2x4 upside the head. OUCH! A means to make us feel wronged or worse, feel like failures.
So I'd like to ask you to do me a HUGE favor right here, right now (it's a three part favor, by the way). The first part of the favor is to step away from the 2x4, put it away, shred it in the wood shredder, burn it on a bonfire. Do whatever you need to do, just get rid of it. The next thing is that you become aware of your shoulda, woulda, coulda vernacular. And the last part of the favor is, if you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing all over yourself, please ask yourself one of the following questions;
- "On a scale of 1-10 (one being a low score) how important is this goal, dream or intention to me?"
If your response is a 5 or less, please be honest with yourself, how likely are you to carry out whatever it is you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing yourself over? Things that score low on the importance scale also score low on the priority scale and are more likely to be placed on the backburner, in the back of the closet, or stuffed in the back of our minds.
- "Is this something I wish to do or something someone said I should do?"
Let's face it, when we are trying to accomplish a goal that is someone else's and not our own, we are less likely to see it through to fruition. Why? Because it's not ours. It is not in alignment with who we are and our core values.
- "How will this serve me in being my best self?"
If your answer is, “It won't" then please reconsider your reasoning for trying to take action on a goal, dream, or intention that will not serve you.
Here is to using the shoulda, woulda, couldas as success tools, (as opposed to the opposite) until you don't need them anymore.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
You are beautiful !! by Pam Thomas
You are beautiful!! by Pam Thomas
What worth has beauty if it is not seen? - Italian Proverb
There is not one person on this planet who does not possess a great beauty. We all have the capacity to share and show our beauty; sometimes we choose to hide it away. Sometimes we mask it in fear that our beauty is not good enough or as wonderful as someone else.
When we compare ourselves to others, when we self deprecate, when we don’t share our true amazing selves, we are depreciating our own beauty, devaluing its worth and our own. We are depriving ourselves of the chance to share something really incredible with the world and in turn we are depriving ourselves of opportunities for growth and potentials.
My friends, it does not matter if you are bone thin, overweight, have a small nose or a big nose, hips that are too small or too big, you are beautiful. You possess a beauty that no one else does and that makes you incredible and unique.
Come out from hiding, stop the self deprecation, cease the comparisons. When you feel the urge to do any of the things mentioned, please stop yourself and please find one positive thing about YOU that you can share with the world in that very moment. Maybe you have a killer smile, so stop and smile at someone. Maybe you give incredible hugs, so stop and hug someone. Maybe you have a beautiful giving heart, so share some love with someone. Embrace your beauty, you will be utterly surprised at what happens when you do.
What worth has beauty if it is not seen? - Italian Proverb
There is not one person on this planet who does not possess a great beauty. We all have the capacity to share and show our beauty; sometimes we choose to hide it away. Sometimes we mask it in fear that our beauty is not good enough or as wonderful as someone else.
When we compare ourselves to others, when we self deprecate, when we don’t share our true amazing selves, we are depreciating our own beauty, devaluing its worth and our own. We are depriving ourselves of the chance to share something really incredible with the world and in turn we are depriving ourselves of opportunities for growth and potentials.
My friends, it does not matter if you are bone thin, overweight, have a small nose or a big nose, hips that are too small or too big, you are beautiful. You possess a beauty that no one else does and that makes you incredible and unique.
Come out from hiding, stop the self deprecation, cease the comparisons. When you feel the urge to do any of the things mentioned, please stop yourself and please find one positive thing about YOU that you can share with the world in that very moment. Maybe you have a killer smile, so stop and smile at someone. Maybe you give incredible hugs, so stop and hug someone. Maybe you have a beautiful giving heart, so share some love with someone. Embrace your beauty, you will be utterly surprised at what happens when you do.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Rejection: a blessing in disguise by Pam Thomas
Rejection: a blessing in disguise by Pam Thomas
What if someone told you that the last time you were turned down or worse, rejected was not because of you, but because of the other person? Would that change your perspective on the situation or your feelings about the person? If that thought doesn’t float your boat, how about trying this concept on for size…
Rejection is just the Universe’s way of protecting you from situations, things, and people that aren’t a right fit for you.
Think about it.
We’re all unique. We all possess qualities and characteristics that are different and special. That’s a beautiful thing because that means that each situation and each person has a “right fit” and we can’t, as individuals, be the “right fit” for everything or everyone. The mere thought of being the “right fit” for everyone and everything is a draining one at best, because when would you possibly find time for you? How would you be able to enjoy those amazing moments when the synergy was just perfect? When would you be able to really make a deep connection with someone really special?
Rejection truly is a blessing in disguise. It helps us keep the space open for the things and for the people that truly are meant to be a part of our lives. It keeps our options open and supports us in determining what is in our best interests. So the next time you are turned down or rejected, try telling yourself, “It’s OK. This is just the Universe’s way of letting me know that something more suitable to me and for me is on the horizon.” Then let it go and have faith that, that something or someone truly is around the corner just waiting for the chance to introduce themselves to you.
What if someone told you that the last time you were turned down or worse, rejected was not because of you, but because of the other person? Would that change your perspective on the situation or your feelings about the person? If that thought doesn’t float your boat, how about trying this concept on for size…
Rejection is just the Universe’s way of protecting you from situations, things, and people that aren’t a right fit for you.
Think about it.
We’re all unique. We all possess qualities and characteristics that are different and special. That’s a beautiful thing because that means that each situation and each person has a “right fit” and we can’t, as individuals, be the “right fit” for everything or everyone. The mere thought of being the “right fit” for everyone and everything is a draining one at best, because when would you possibly find time for you? How would you be able to enjoy those amazing moments when the synergy was just perfect? When would you be able to really make a deep connection with someone really special?
Rejection truly is a blessing in disguise. It helps us keep the space open for the things and for the people that truly are meant to be a part of our lives. It keeps our options open and supports us in determining what is in our best interests. So the next time you are turned down or rejected, try telling yourself, “It’s OK. This is just the Universe’s way of letting me know that something more suitable to me and for me is on the horizon.” Then let it go and have faith that, that something or someone truly is around the corner just waiting for the chance to introduce themselves to you.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Play or sit on the sidelines? by Pam Thomas
Play or sit on the sidelines? by Pam Thomas
Life is a wonderful game to be played and not watched from the sidelines. You’ve got to take chances and get in the game or you’ll never know what it feels like to score a goal, sink a three-pointer, or make a touchdown.
So, when was the last time you took a chance? When was the last time you threw caution to the wind and just went for it?
If your answer is, “I have no clue.” OR “Gosh, I don’t remember.” then please ask yourself, “What will it take for me to get off the bench and get into the game?
To assist in warming you up and getting you off the bench try considering the following:
1) You have much more to gain by playing than you do to lose. Think about it, if you go after what you want and get it, you've gained. If you go after what you want and don’t get it, you haven’t lost anything – you've gained experience and the bragging rights to say “Hey, very cool. I tried!”
2) Every experience, good or bad is an opportunity for growth and learning.
3) When you allow fear to stand in your way, you are just handing your power over to the fear. We alll know it is no fun being powerless.
4) Create some awareness around what holds you back. In creating that awareness you have the capability to remove the obstacles, jump over them, or run around them.
5) If you follow your heart, you can’t go wrong.
6) If you follow your heart, and someone thinks you are silly for it, that says more about them then it does about you. Oh, and remember it really is none of your business what others think of you. It is your business what you think of you.
So what’s it gonna be; are you going to sit or are you gonna play?
Life is a wonderful game to be played and not watched from the sidelines. You’ve got to take chances and get in the game or you’ll never know what it feels like to score a goal, sink a three-pointer, or make a touchdown.
So, when was the last time you took a chance? When was the last time you threw caution to the wind and just went for it?
If your answer is, “I have no clue.” OR “Gosh, I don’t remember.” then please ask yourself, “What will it take for me to get off the bench and get into the game?
To assist in warming you up and getting you off the bench try considering the following:
1) You have much more to gain by playing than you do to lose. Think about it, if you go after what you want and get it, you've gained. If you go after what you want and don’t get it, you haven’t lost anything – you've gained experience and the bragging rights to say “Hey, very cool. I tried!”
2) Every experience, good or bad is an opportunity for growth and learning.
3) When you allow fear to stand in your way, you are just handing your power over to the fear. We alll know it is no fun being powerless.
4) Create some awareness around what holds you back. In creating that awareness you have the capability to remove the obstacles, jump over them, or run around them.
5) If you follow your heart, you can’t go wrong.
6) If you follow your heart, and someone thinks you are silly for it, that says more about them then it does about you. Oh, and remember it really is none of your business what others think of you. It is your business what you think of you.
So what’s it gonna be; are you going to sit or are you gonna play?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Fear, a four letter word by Pam Thomas
Fear, a four letter word by Pam Thomas
What is fear?
Fear sometimes protects us, helping us to avoid danger or pain.
Fear is an obstacle or blockage that keeps us from moving forward.
Fear is a feeling.
Fear can be real and valid.
Fear is a great place to hide.
It is OK to feel fearful, especially when it comes to your own safety and well-being. It is OK to feel fearful about your dreams, about taking risks; feeling fear is a natural human emotion.
But here's something to consider; if fear is not serving as a protector from danger, should fear be allowed to stand in your way of creating the life you desire and deserve?
Consider the following few things about fear....
* Fear only resides in the past and the future.
* Fear does not like postives.
* Fear disappears when deep breathing is present.
For just one moment imagine having the ability to flow, to really move through your day without doubt or fear. Imagine diving into new projects, taking exciting risks, setting dreams into action without the second guessing or the white knuckles. What would that be like? What would that feel like? Sit with that thought or feeling for a moment. Soak it in, remember it, especially during the times when fear is preventing you from doing something that will serve you in a positive way.
If that does not work for you, feel free to give these additional strategies a try...
1. Become very present, in the here and the now. Stop, take a good look around you and engage your five senses. What do you see? What do you hear? etc.
2. Take four deep cleansing breaths to a count of four; four counts in through the nose and exhale to a count of four through the mouth.
3. The brain, while an amazing wonder, can’t think positive and negative thoughts at the same time. So since fear evokes negative thoughts try copping an attitude of gratitude. Take your hand, place it over your heart and in the moment list no less than three things you are most grateful for.
4. Take stock of the fear. Ask yourself is the fear serving you in a positive or negative way? Creating awareness is a powerful way to combat fear, because from awareness comes the ability to choose.
Just remember you deserve to have the life you desire without the fear. Here's to eradicating that four letter from your vocabulary.
FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real
What is fear?
Fear sometimes protects us, helping us to avoid danger or pain.
Fear is an obstacle or blockage that keeps us from moving forward.
Fear is a feeling.
Fear can be real and valid.
Fear is a great place to hide.
It is OK to feel fearful, especially when it comes to your own safety and well-being. It is OK to feel fearful about your dreams, about taking risks; feeling fear is a natural human emotion.
But here's something to consider; if fear is not serving as a protector from danger, should fear be allowed to stand in your way of creating the life you desire and deserve?
Consider the following few things about fear....
* Fear only resides in the past and the future.
* Fear does not like postives.
* Fear disappears when deep breathing is present.
For just one moment imagine having the ability to flow, to really move through your day without doubt or fear. Imagine diving into new projects, taking exciting risks, setting dreams into action without the second guessing or the white knuckles. What would that be like? What would that feel like? Sit with that thought or feeling for a moment. Soak it in, remember it, especially during the times when fear is preventing you from doing something that will serve you in a positive way.
If that does not work for you, feel free to give these additional strategies a try...
1. Become very present, in the here and the now. Stop, take a good look around you and engage your five senses. What do you see? What do you hear? etc.
2. Take four deep cleansing breaths to a count of four; four counts in through the nose and exhale to a count of four through the mouth.
3. The brain, while an amazing wonder, can’t think positive and negative thoughts at the same time. So since fear evokes negative thoughts try copping an attitude of gratitude. Take your hand, place it over your heart and in the moment list no less than three things you are most grateful for.
4. Take stock of the fear. Ask yourself is the fear serving you in a positive or negative way? Creating awareness is a powerful way to combat fear, because from awareness comes the ability to choose.
Just remember you deserve to have the life you desire without the fear. Here's to eradicating that four letter from your vocabulary.
FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What do you choose? by Pam Thomas
What do you choose? by Pam Thomas
Do you find that you sometimes take on someone else's...
...bad mood?
...insecurities?
...anger?
...hatred?
...fear?
If you answered "yes" to any of the options it may be time to take stock in the energy that you are sharing with the world. Remember, as harsh as this may sound like attracts like. If you are a fan of the Law of Attraction you will recall that our own energy levels (vibrations) attract similar energy levels (vibrations). Which means that if you are thinking and feeling negatively, there is a good chance that more negative vibes will come your way. Sounds pretty rotten doesn't it?
Well, guess what? There is good news! The good news is, you have a choice. You can choose the energy level you wish to operate from and you can choose not to allow others' emotional messes to become your mess. There is a wonderful example of this in the awesome book Feel It Real!: A Guided Approach to Bringing the Law of Attraction into Your Life.
In the book, the author Denise Coates shares a powerful story about a man full of hatred who traveled to see Buddha. When he met Buddha, rather than share kindness and love, he chose to curse, swear, and call Buddha names. Never once did Buddha fall prey to the man's hateful behavior. Seeing that his behavior was having no impact upon Buddha, the hateful man grew weary. Buddha turned to the man and asked him, "If a man brings me a gift and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?" The man responded by saying that the gift belonged to the gift giver. To which Buddha replied, "Then if you come to me with a gift of hatred and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the hatred belong?" With that the man realized that his hatred only belonged to him and no one else.
So the next time you find yourself taking on someone else's emotions, ask yourself the following,
"Do I choose to accept or refuse this gift?" From awareness comes choice. The choice really is YOURS!
-Pam Thomas
Do you find that you sometimes take on someone else's...
...bad mood?
...insecurities?
...anger?
...hatred?
...fear?
If you answered "yes" to any of the options it may be time to take stock in the energy that you are sharing with the world. Remember, as harsh as this may sound like attracts like. If you are a fan of the Law of Attraction you will recall that our own energy levels (vibrations) attract similar energy levels (vibrations). Which means that if you are thinking and feeling negatively, there is a good chance that more negative vibes will come your way. Sounds pretty rotten doesn't it?
Well, guess what? There is good news! The good news is, you have a choice. You can choose the energy level you wish to operate from and you can choose not to allow others' emotional messes to become your mess. There is a wonderful example of this in the awesome book Feel It Real!: A Guided Approach to Bringing the Law of Attraction into Your Life.
In the book, the author Denise Coates shares a powerful story about a man full of hatred who traveled to see Buddha. When he met Buddha, rather than share kindness and love, he chose to curse, swear, and call Buddha names. Never once did Buddha fall prey to the man's hateful behavior. Seeing that his behavior was having no impact upon Buddha, the hateful man grew weary. Buddha turned to the man and asked him, "If a man brings me a gift and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?" The man responded by saying that the gift belonged to the gift giver. To which Buddha replied, "Then if you come to me with a gift of hatred and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the hatred belong?" With that the man realized that his hatred only belonged to him and no one else.
So the next time you find yourself taking on someone else's emotions, ask yourself the following,
"Do I choose to accept or refuse this gift?" From awareness comes choice. The choice really is YOURS!
-Pam Thomas
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