Always Had It, Always Will

Always Had It, Always Will
by Alan Cohen

Not this crude leather; luminous beings are we!
- Yoda

What would you do if someone swore that you knew the secret of life and put you on a stage to tell it? The Totally Hidden Video television show set up a hysterical prank on precisely this theme. For the gag, a Federal Express driver was asked to deliver a package to a religious temple (fabricated by the television show). Unknown to the driver, the pranksters had taken a photo of him and replicated it as a painted portrait, depicting the young man dressed in the royal regalia of the fictitious sect.

When the delivery man arrived, the disciples (actors hired by the program) took one look at him and began buzzing excitedly.

They ushered him to the front of the sanctuary and invited him to sit on a plush cushion of honor. Then they revealed to him that he was the chosen one, the long-awaited prophet foretold in their scriptures. To allay any doubts, a servant parted the altar curtain where, lo and behold, hung the majestic portrait of the deliverer, "painted by a visionary centuries ago."

"Please," begged a disciple, "give us some words of wisdom."

The driver surveyed the portrait and looked over the throng of expectant devotees. A hush fell over the assembly. He sat down on the pillow, took a deep breath, and spoke: "Life," the sage explained, "is like a river."

The disciples "oohed" and "aahed" on the heels of his utterance, hanging fervently on every sacred word.

"Sometimes life flows easily, and sometimes you encounter rocks and rapids," the guru illustrated, "but if you hang in there and have faith, you will arrive at the ocean of your dreams."

Again the students swooned with ecstasy. More "oohs" and "aahs." This was indeed the day they had been waiting for!

"Well, that's about it," Swami Fedex curtly concluded, "I have to go now and make some more deliveries."

Reluctantly the devotees rose, bowed reverently, and sheepishly cleared the way for the anointed one. Amid profuse veneration he made his way to the door.

Now here is the amazing postscript to the story: the program played the same trick on several Fedex drivers, each of whom found profound words the moment he sat on the cushion. The invitation to wax profound brought forth the inner wisdom in these unassuming fellows. Deep within our heart, each of us knows the truth. The answers we seek, the power we strive for, and the acknowledgement we attempt to gain, abide inside us. Given the opportunity (being placed on the cushion) or the challenge (being pushed against a wall) we know what we need to know, to do what we need to do.

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Always Had It, Always Will Imagine this prank were played on you - what would your deepest words of wisdom be? When receiving the honor that the drivers received, how do we also keep their awareness that deliveries have to be made, and avoid getting trapped by the attention we get? Can you share a personal story of a time when you were expected to share your deepest wisdom, and what arose in response?

ATOMIC CONTRAST

ATOMIC CONTRAST

I was invited recently to present a seminar in Hiroshima, Japan, the city devastated by the atomic bomb in 1945. As I approached the Hiroshima train station via the bullet train, I felt uneasy, wondering if the psychic shadow of the holocaust would linger unto this day. To my surprise, Hiroshima Station felt light and airy, passersby friendly and upbeat. As my host drove me through Hiroshima’s streets, I was impressed by the comeliness of the area. Clean rivers wended beneath many bridges, banks highlighted by cherry blossom trees in full bloom. Families picnicked by the riverside as children laughed and played. Was this the same city instantly burned to a crisp by the world’s most dire single act of man-made destruction?

At the center of Hiroshima resides a lovely park dedicated to the intention that peace prevail on Earth. Manicured lawns form a soft backdrop to fountains and a waterfall. At one end burns an eternal flame set atop a simple altar where people from all over the world pray and leave flowers as a symbol of their wish for peace.

There my host told me that seers had explained that in the wake of such massive destruction through warfare, the desire for peace has grown to an extraordinary degree. Recently the Dalai Lama was joined by Bishop Desmond Tutu and Nobel peace laureate Betty Williams for a conference, ceremony, and declaration to further world peace.

Contrast teaches and ignites the desire for better. Negative events generate intense motivation for their opposite. When you get what you don’t want, you are more highly motivated to create what you do want. A bad marriage moves you to have a better one. Physical illness amplifies your intention for wellness. A business failure induces you to create more success. When you experience what clearly disturbs your soul, the next question is, “How can I create what I prefer instead?”

Life rushes to replace death and healing seeks to erase wounds. Human beings can do an act as heinous as dropping an atomic bomb on their brethren, and horrific as that act is, life will return with greater fervor for well-being. With the exception of one skeleton of a building now used as a tourist attraction, Hiroshima has been resurrected. Not just as a city, but as a city of determined peace.

You and I, too, have had our moments of pain, destruction, and perhaps even decimation. Yet those experiences always give way to life, and sometimes greater life. May we all learn from the contrast in our lives, individually and collectively, so that we may build parks of beauty over the ashes of war.


The holiest spot on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.
- A Course in Miracles

Alan Cohen
web:alancohen.com

Distinctive Ring Tones

Distinctive Ring Tones


So we see, to play successfully the game of life, we must train the imaging faculty. A person with an imaging faculty trained to image only good, brings into his life "every righteous desire of his heart" - health, wealth, love, friends, perfect self-expression, his highest ideals.

— Florence Scovel Shinn


In the film Tin Cup, Kevin Costner’s character proclaims, “When the defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you.” We have been led to believe that life determines who we are, when at every moment we determine what our life is.

One strong metaphor for attuning to your unique guidance is the cell phone. Most people have a unique cell phone ring tone. We choose melodies and songs that we enjoy and that represent our unique taste and style. When cell phones first became popular, there were no distinctive tones, so when I stood in line at an airport, for example, a cell phone would ring and five people would each reach for their phone, in case someone was calling them. Now the rings are so distinctive that you reach for your call and not someone else’s.

Your soul’s calling also has a distinct tone. When your inner voice speaks to you it bestows a feeling of peace, ease, flow, aliveness, and a sense of coming home. By contrast, the voice of the ego, or fear, is burdensome, demanding, and disquieting. When considering whether to hearken to a voice within you, test its frequency. Is it broadcasting from fear, or love? Practice picking up the phone for love calls and refuse to answer the fear calls. As a Chasidic sage nobly stated, “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.”



Do you recognize the frequency of your own true inner voice?

Considering a decision before you, what does the voice of love say to you?


I listen to the my own true voice and I act on it with confidence.

I am always guided to my greater good.



Wisdom for Today © 2010 by Alan Cohen www.alancohen.com

The Stable Mule

The Stable Mule

Ranchers have a trick to deal with a corral of skittish horses: they place a mule in their midst. Mules are generally more relaxed and laid-back than horses, and they exert a calming influence on high-strung equines.

If you find yourself in the midst of a tense office, family gathering, or traffic jam, you serve yourself and those around you best by being the mule. Do whatever you can to keep yourself peaceful, no matter how crazy the people around you are getting. The person who is least upset is in the best position to recognize creative solutions helpful to everyone. Regardless of what action you take, inner peace is the greatest contribution you can make anywhere, anytime.

You can also apply this principle when you find yourself getting upset. While fearful or chaotic thoughts and feelings may be running rampant within you like spooked horses, you also have a calm mule inside you that can bring a soothing energy to your world if you invite it into the corral. If you start to feel frantic about anything, bring forth your inner mule.

Your life is an interplay of frequencies of experience. You have the power to choose frequencies that match your intentions. Inner peace is not a random event created by outer conditions. It is a purposeful experience created by inner choice.


The pure love of one person can offset the hatred of millions.

— Mahatma Gandhi


Alan Cohen

The Space on the Page

While visiting Japan, I was surfing some television channels and I came upon an American baseball game. There are lots of Japanese baseball players in the U.S. major leagues now, and the Japanese are very proud of them, so they broadcast the U.S. games there. Instead of airing the games in their entirety, however, they replay recent broadcasts, edited down to the highlights. So the show jumps from the stolen base in the first inning to the home run in the fourth, to the manager's fight with the umpire in the sixth, to the Japanese player's hit in the eighth, and so on. All in all, a two-and-a-half-hour game is condensed to about 20 minutes.

While it was interesting to see all the cool plays, I found watching the compacted version far less enjoyable than viewing an entire baseball game. Somehow the innings where nothing happens make the action-packed innings more meaningful and exciting. There is something about contrast that accentuates experience.

The game of life is the same way. It is not supposed to be action packed and exciting every minute. The lulls and quiet spaces enhance the peaks and crescendos. The downs accentuate the ups, and the setbacks make the triumphs more rewarding. Hunger makes food taste better when you receive it, missing others helps you appreciate them when you see them next, and foreplay makes an orgasm worth waiting for. The system is pretty clever.

I learned a similar lesson when I submitted an ad to a graphic artist. He told me there were too many words on the page. "The space on the page is as important as the text and pictures," he explained. "It's all about balance."

The next time nothing seems to be happening or something you want does not show up immediately, do not fret. The big game is far more satisfying than the condensed version.


Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com

Which Box Will You Check?

When the defining moment comes, either you define the moment or the moment defines you.

―From the movie Tin Cup


In her delightful book, Let Go of the Shore, musician Karen Drucker describes a pivotal moment when she was about to sign up for a subscription to a trade magazine. At that time Karen was just starting her career and she did not have a lot of money. On the subscription page of the magazine she found two different forms of subscription: One for "Regular Subscriber" and another discounted rate for "Starving Artist." Karen was tempted to check the "Starving Artist" box, but she realized that if she claimed the identity of "Starving Artist" she would affirm that definition of herself, and that is who she would become. So she decided to take a leap of faith and pay for the regular-rate subscription as an affirmation that she could afford it.


The next day Karen received a number of checks in the mail and several invitations for music engagements. Her affirmation of herself as an abundant being, she maintains, drew to her the material abundance.

Every time we think or speak about ourselves or anyone, we are affirming who we or they are. So take care to choose the adjectives and labels you place upon yourself and others, for those descriptions will come true. Never speak of yourself as less than you would like to be, and afford others the same courtesy and empowerment.

Every choice you make reflects who you believe you are. Make choices that reflect and honor the best that you are and the best that you deserve, and your statements will become self-fulfilling prophecies.



How might you describe yourself in ways that

honor your magnificence and expand your good?


Affirm:

I accept prosperity by making choices as one who is abundant.


Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com

Two Sides of a Prison Wall

A young Japanese man named Shui was riding on a crowded train when a belligerent drunk made his way through the train car and began to rough up passengers. Shui had studied martial arts for many years, yet never before had he been forced into a public confrontation. Shui felt his blood begin to boil, and realized the ruffian needed to be stopped before he hurt someone badly.

Shui stood up, blocked the fellow’s path, and the two exchanged angry words. As the men were about to square off, Shui felt a hand on his arm. He looked down and saw a frail old man. “Let me handle this,” the elder insisted.

Shui watched in amazement as the old man invited the heavy to have a seat next to him. Strangely, he acquiesced. The elder began to engage the fellow, asking him questions about his life and looking him in the eye with kindness and compassion. After a while the thug confessed that his wife had just died and he was in great pain; he had gone out and gotten drunk to numb his agony. The old man placed a comforting hand on the fellow’s shoulder, and he began to weep. Before Shui’s eyes the intruder was transformed from a villain into an innocent child.

When the train arrived at the next station, the tough guy thanked the old man and exited the car. Shui, stunned, sat down next to the old man and asked him, “Why did you stop me?”

“You were about to meet that man’s violence with your own,” answered the old man. “In true martial arts, if you hurt your opponent in any way, you cannot call your act a victory.”

We have all encountered people whom we feel we must protect ourselves from. Yet there is a way to keep ourselves safe without hurting others. It is the strongest way to protect our peace. Although we have been taught that we must wield pain as a weapon to keep others at a distance, it is not so. We gain all together or not at all. To wish ill upon anyone is to hurt ourself.

I used to visit a prisoner named Ron. Years earlier, in college, Ron had a girlfriend named Jen. One night the couple had an argument, and in a fit of rage, Ron beat her up. Tragically, she died. Ron was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to many years in prison.

I met Ron when he was up for parole after nine years of incarceration. In contrast to his violent act, I found him to be a gentle soul. He was contrite about his crime and he had used his time in prison to advance his spiritual growth. Ron studied A Course in Miracles, he was active in the prison church, he was liked by the other prisoners and staff, and he had worked his way up to a responsible position managing the prison laundry. When I visited Ron, I sensed no cruelty in him and he certainly did not seem like a dangerous criminal to me.

Ron told me that he had been denied parole repeatedly because Jen’s parents had mounted a citywide campaign to keep him in jail. Each year when Ron was eligible to be released, Jen’s parents took out newspaper ads, exerted their political influence, and orchestrated a concerted community effort to “keep this killer off the streets.” Yet, looking at this man, I did not see a killer at all. I saw a basically good man who had made a heartbreaking mistake.

“So how are you dealing with Jen’s parents?” I asked Ron.

“I send them love and prayer,” he answered. “I understand that they are very angry and they must be in great pain. If I could go back and undo my act, I surely would. More than anything, I wish I could bring Jen back. But I can’t. So I am just deepening my relationship with God right where I am and trying to be a blessing to the world.”

As I left my meeting with Ron that day, I wondered who was really in prison. Ron was locked up physically, but his soul was soaring. Meanwhile, Jen’s parents were quite wealthy and enjoyed unlimited physical freedom, yet they were consumed by anger and vengeance. It seemed to me that their wrathful thoughts were creating walls more formidable than those encasing Ron.

Because we are spiritual beings at our essence, what we do with our spirit influences us more profoundly than what we do with our body. Heaven and hell are not places we go or conditions the outer world imposes on us; they are experiences we create with our thoughts and beliefs. A Course in Miracles tells us, “I am affected only by my thoughts.” Where our mind goes, there we are. The desire to hurt brings us instant pain, while the desire to heal brings us instant freedom.

If you are angry with anyone, or involved in a conflict, keep reaching for a solution that leaves everyone whole. If you feel you need to hurt someone or take something away from them to make things even, you do violence mostly to yourself. Instead of seeing them as a villain, regard them as wounded or calling for love. No one does anything mean or foolish unless they are in great pain. To try to inflict more pain only exacerbates their sense of disconnection. As you connect with your own sense of peace, you invite them to claim theirs. Only then can you say you have won.

by Alan Cohen

www.alancohen.com

Play the Mistake by Alan Cohen

Play the Mistake

by Alan Cohen
www.alancohen.com


Just before Christmas last year, Rob Anderson went into a convenience store to purchase three $1 Powerball lottery tickets as stocking stuffers. The clerk misunderstood Anderson’s request and erroneously printed one $3 ticket. When Anderson called the mistake to the clerk’s attention, the clerk offered to nullify the ticket. Anderson decided to just go with the current of events, he accepted the ticket, and purchased the three stocking stuffers in addition. Rob went home and tossed the mistaken ticket on his nightstand.

The day after Christmas the winning numbers were announced and Anderson figured he would check the mistaken ticket just in case. That was when he realized the mistake was no mistake. He had just won $128 million, the largest Powerball jackpot ever paid in the Kentucky lottery.

Sometimes what seems to be going wrong is really going right. From a human perspective it may appear that things are working against you, when they are really working for you. That’s why it’s important to be vigilant for what errors might lead to.

When my friend Stephanie visits her parents every year at Thanksgiving, one of the highlights of the family’s traditional meal is “Mistake Salad.” “Many years ago mom was preparing a salad using a cookbook,” Stephanie explained to me. “When mom finished, she realized that she had accidentally merged the recipes for two different salads ― one portion of the ingredients for a salad described on the left open page of the cookbook, and another portion from a different salad described on the right open page. The salad turned out better than any other salad we had had, so now she replicates it every year as the famous ‘Mistake Salad.’”

Speaking of salads, have you ever heard how the famous Caesar Salad began? Cesar Cardini was the working in a small restaurant near a tiny airport near Tijuana, Mexico. One night during a rush of customers, the kitchen ran out of salad ingredients. When the next salad order came in, Cardini threw together whatever scant ingredients he had on hand. Behold the birth of one of the world’s most popular salads! (Originally it was called “The Aviator.”)

Robert Louis Stevenson noted, “Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.” Yet what is a poor hand, but a good hand in the making? What is a minus, but half of a plus waiting for a stroke of vertical awareness? And what is an error, but something to parlay to create something far more valuable than what would have come had the error not occurred? As Ralph Waldo Emerson noted, “A weed is a plant whose virtues have not been discovered.”
All of life is interpretation. It is not the events that occur that make or break a life, but your interpretation of them. You can make anything out of anything, so why not make it what you would choose?

Years ago I was looking for a new location for my office. I found a site that was suitable but not great. In expedience I decided to rent it, and I asked the realtor to get me a contract. The realtor kept delaying and delaying, unto just a few days before I had to move. When I asked him about the contract he confessed that the owner did not want to rent to me because he had seen one of my books and he did not agree with my philosophy. I grew angry and complained about discrimination. Yet when I consulted my inner guidance, it advised me to simply let it be.

That day as I was driving home I decided to take an alternate scenic route. Along the way I noticed a storefront for rent. When I inquired, I found the owner to be a lovely woman who had been using the space for tai chi classes. We liked each other immediately and I rented the space. The facility was in a beautiful area, close to my home, with more space and far less rent than the space from which I had been turned away. Ultimately I blessed the original landlord for denying me. He was the vehicle by which I received something greater.

Life is trying to love you, and apparent mistakes may ultimately serve you. It is said that “disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories.” Nothing ever gets so bad that it cannot get good, and often the good that comes after the bad is greater than the good that came before it.

The next time you encounter a mistake, Rob Anderson would be a good guy to remember. As he deposits his annual checks for millions of dollars, he would probably suggest that we, too, do not resist errors, but let them work in our favor.

The Great Harvest

The Great Harvest

As a farmer lay dying, his four sons sat by his bedside awaiting his final words. “There is a vast treasure buried in the family’s field,” he whispered.

“Where is it, father?” the sons pleaded. But it was too late. Their father was gone.

Soon after his passing, the sons set to the field, trying to unearth the treasure. For many days the sons desperately worked pick and shovel, digging everywhere in search of their promised legacy. Eventually they turned over every inch of the field, but alas, no treasure was to be found. Finally, dejected and discouraged, they gave up their search and returned to their families and vocations.

The next year the farm yielded its greatest harvest ever.

This parable yields a lesson richer than the treasure the sons so fervently sought: The fortune their father hinted at was not a magical boon that would transform the sons’ lives in one glorious instant. The treasure was the untapped potential of the field, capable of yielding riches to the family if they worked with the materials and natural potential before them. The power of the treasure lay not at the end of the rainbow, but in the journey toward it.

I hear people talking about waiting for their big break; or for Oprah to hold up their book on television; or to win the lottery. Certainly these events would be wonderful if they occurred, but if you sit on your duff waiting for a record producer, Oprah, or a lottery number to save you, you may wait for a very long time and miss the wonder and gifts of the journey. Wisdom-guided action and integrity build success far more substantially than a magic pill.

The apparent goal of a journey is simply the carrot the universe dangles before you to call you to the adventure and learn the lessons the journey yields. Martin Buber declared, “All journeys have destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” If you think about most of the things you have striven for, you will realize that the lessons you learned in the process of striving were far more powerful and long-lasting than the material object at the end of the trail. While you sought for a soulmate, you may or may not have ended up with that person; but the self-knowledge you gained and the growth you experienced in the search ran far deeper than the form of the person you sought. Or perhaps you worked hard for a financial or career success. You may or may not have attained your goal, but what happened to you along the way made a far greater difference in your life than the specific goal itself. Then, when you obtained the car, house, or promotion, you were satisfied for a moment, but sooner or later you set your sights on the next achievement. Something inside you recognizes that the power of stretching to achieve something yields you more value than the something itself.

We are a quick-fix oriented culture. We want lots of stuff and we want it now. What we often leave out of the equation, however, is that we would prefer stuff that works. We want computer printers that last longer than a year, a job we can grow into a passionate career, and a soulmate we can love for a lifetime. Because we often sacrifice integrity for expedience, the art of quality engineering, true craftsmanship, and meaningful relationships is shrinking to the domain of a dedicated few. When I visited Japan, my friend Koichi told me that the oldest company in Japan ― and the world ― is 800 years old. The company is an architectural firm that specializes in building temples and pagodas. The company, Koichi explained, does not use nails in their construction. Instead, they make a series of tabs on the ends of wooden pieces and fit them together. Over eight centuries, when there have been earthquakes, this company’s structures, including five-story pagodas, have stood firm while buildings around them crumbled.

If you want a life that stands while others crumble, pay more attention to how you till the field than finding the buried treasure. The real treasure, you see, is buried within you. If you are going to mine anything, mine the gifts you already own. Don’t wait for a soulmate, talent scout, or Oprah to put you on the map. You are already on the map, but if you are holding it upside down, you won’t recognize and claim your true domain.

It’s a wonderful thing when people or events come along to change our life. But you must do your inner homework and own those changes by right of consciousness. Otherwise the boons that arrive will disappear as fast as they came. But if you have tilled your field with love, care, and integrity, the harvest will be bountiful, and you will have plenty for yourself and many others.

by Alan Cohen

http://www.alancohen.com

I Don't Play Hurt by Alan Cohen

I Don't Play Hurt by Alan Cohen


I am not a victim of the world I see.

- A Course in Miracles


I began to feel irritated when the limo driver was late. After a long flight on the eve of an intense book promotion tour, I was tired and anxious to get to my hotel. Finally the limo arrived and the driver emerged. He was a tall, husky African-American man who resembled a cross between George Forman and Goldfinger’s Oddjob. I decided not to get in his face.

Enroute the driver, Terry, apologized for being late because he had a minor fender bender on his way. When he asked me what I was doing in L.A., I told him I was promoting my new book, Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It. Terry chuckled, “I can use that book.”

A few minutes later I heard Terry reporting the mishap to his dispatcher over the 2-way radio. “Was there any damage to the car?” asked the dispatcher.
“None,” Terry answered curtly.
“Did you get hurt?” was the next question.
“Not really.”
After a silence, the dispatcher replied, “You know, there could be some cash in this for you.”

When I realized the dispatcher was suggesting that Terry file a false insurance claim, I awaited his response. A moment later he answered in a low, sober voice, “I don’t play hurt.”

Now there’s an affirmation to file in a conspicuous place: I don’t play hurt. That’s exactly the principle I’ve been striving to live and teach for my whole career. Stunned, I placed a hand on Terry’s shoulder and told him, “You don’t need my book, man you’re already living it.”

None of us can afford to play hurt. When you do, you undermine your true strength and live a lie. Don’t play small. Don’t act like a victim. Don’t seek rewards for pain. Be magnificent. Be powerful. If you are going to play any role, play strong and whole, for that’s who you truly are.


Are you playing hurt in any area of your life?
What would you be doing differently if you played whole and strong?

I am strong, whole, and empowered. I don’t play hurt.

Stories Worth Telling by Alan Cohen

Stories Worth Telling

by Alan Cohen

www.alancohen.com

In the spirit of the holiday season, Dee and I went to a liquor store to purchase a gift of wine for a friend. There we asked the store owner, a congenial fellow named Ali, for some recommendations. We were pleasantly surprised to find that Ali is a world-class wine expert. He went into fascinating, poetic details about each wine, describing its subtlest nuances and mesmerizing us with stories about the history of each winery, some of which went back over a thousand years. I was rapt. Finally I commented, “I guess all wines have a story.”

Ali smiled and shook his head. “Not exactly,” he replied. “All good wines have a story.”

His comment got me thinking about the stories we tell. Some stories are worth telling and others are not worth telling. Some stories empower us and others disempower us. Which of your stories bring you life and which deaden you?

The end of this year might be a good time to decide which stories you want to leave behind and which you would like to take into the new year and amplify. One of the most powerful exercises I have ever done in a seminar was to ask the participants, “What story are you ready to let go of, and what story are you willing to have take its place?” The answers were quite revealing: Participants declared they were ready to let go of their victim and abuse stories; poverty, lack, and struggle; loveless relationships; fear, resistance, and many variations on “poor me.” In their stead they were ready to tell new stories of living with conscious intention; relationships that yield reward and joy; abundance and success; trust, flow, and creativity; and “blessed me.”

Every time you tell a story, you reinforce the feelings and experience associated with the story; you amplify the themes in your consciousness; and you increase the chances of a similar story repeating itself in your world. That is quite enough reason to carefully choose the stories you tell.

If you find yourself telling a story that is taking you to a place you would rather not revisit, stop and consider what story might effectively replace it. I patronize a video store that has a computer program that alerts the clerk if I am about to check out a video I have already rented. The clerk asks me, “Are you aware that you’ve already watched this video?” If it was a good video and I want to see it again, I proceed with the checkout. If I remember that I didn’t really like the movie, I send it back to the shelf and pick out another one.

How helpful would it be if you and I had a little computer program in our head that reminded us, “You have already told this story. Are you sure you want to tell it again?”

Many of us keep telling non-productive stories because we get perceived mileage out of them. They do not bring us reward, but they are familiar and we build a presentation and identity around them. One of the movies I have checked out several times is The Heartbreak Kid (1972 version with Charles Grodin). In the film, Lenny has a canned spiel he gives most people to impress them. “I think it’s time we quit taking from the earth and we started giving back to it.” A good idea, for sure, but for Lenny it is purely hot air.

Over the course of his journey, Lenny impresses a number of folks with his rap, to the point that he manipulates to marry the girl he has been pursuing. In the final scene of the film we see Lenny at his wedding reception, sitting on a couch with a couple of eight-year-old kids. “I think it’s time we quit taking from the earth and we started giving back to it,” he tells them. The kids simply roll their eyes, get up, and walk away. Like many children, they live too close to truth to be impressed by a hollow story.

Holiday gatherings offer great opportunities to be at choice about the stories you tell and listen to. What a wonderful season this will be if you use it to tell a new story! You can turn around lifetime patterns of negative conversation by pointing your story in a new direction. You may discover that no one is too old or too stuck to get a new story. Bill, a carpenter who works at my house from time to time, is a straight-arrow kind of guy. A military retiree, Bill is a devoted family man and conservative in many ways.

Last week Bill told me that, due to a health crisis, his wife picked up a book on spiritual healing. She got really excited about it, and so did Bill. As we stood in my back yard, Bill went into a long discourse about how spiritual healing works. Although I have understood (and taught) these principles over many years, I listened fervently, absolutely impressed by the new life Bill had discovered. He got a new and better story, and he is loving it!

Rather than wishing you a traditional holiday greeting, I wish you a good story. I wish that the most wonderful aspects of your current story expand, and if you have any painful or empty stories, that you find new ones to launch you into a new year. May your new year place you smack dab in the middle of the greatest story you have ever told.

Brush with Greatness by Alan Cohen

Brush with Greatness

by Alan Cohen

www.alancohen.com


One evening when I picked up my voicemail. I heard a message from my friend Kinnie, who works as a massage therapist at a luxury hotel: “Call me ― I have to tell you about my brush with greatness.”

I phoned Kinnie immediately and asked what had happened. “I massaged Dustin Hoffman today,” she reported proudly.

Well, that was cool. Yet something bothered me about her phraseology, “My brush with greatness.”

“Dustin Hoffman is a great actor,” I told her. “But when you say, ‘my brush with greatness,’ it sounds as if he is great and you are not, and you were lucky to touch greatness for a moment. In my opinion you are just as great as him. You are an outstanding massage therapist and an awesome person. It saddened me to hear you portray yourself as less than him. Who knows, maybe after his massage he phoned a friend and reported, “Let me tell you about my brush with greatness . . .”

Kinnie thanked me for my affirmation of her worth. Yet the lesson goes far beyond that one encounter. We have all have been taught that greatness lives outside of us and we need to rub up against it or import it so we can become great. That’s exactly the opposite of how true greatness operates. Magnificence resides within all of us, and we need but tap into it and bring it forth. We don’t need to brush with greatness; we need to simply brush from greatness.”

We give our power away when we bestow exalted attributes upon people we worship, at the expense of recognizing our own. Former child star Shirley Temple Black recounts, “I gave up believing in Santa Claus when I was six. When my mom took me to see him, he asked for my autograph.” You can imagine the child running to be validated by the god of all children, only to find the god dashing to be validated by the star he adored. While we seek approval from the outside world, if we do not respect ourselves, the gifts bestowed by others fall on barren soil. Rather than importing affirmation from those we adore, we need to claim the good we seek right where we stand. Then we can appreciate and celebrate others’ magnificence side by side with our own.

You cannot acquire greatness by association; you can recognize it only by identity. People who habitually name-drop or flaunt photos of themselves with famous people do not appreciate their inherent worth. It’s not who you know that counts; it’s who you are. When you stand firmly and unapologetically in your own dignity, you attract powerful and worthy comrades. They are drawn to you magnetically, and your conversations are not about what you can get from them, but what you can co-create.

People who brush from greatness, not toward it, are simultaneously humble and powerful. They recognize that the talent that flows through them is seeded from a Source far grander than their ego. When a reporter asked twelve-year-old tennis sensation Jennifer Capriotti, “Do you intend to be the next Chris Evert?” she answered, “No, I intend to be the first Jennifer Capriotti.” Ten-year-old art prodigy Alexandra Nashita, called “the next Picasso,” affirmed, “The difference between me and others is that I am willing to do what I am good at.” Mozart put it this way: “It is when I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer . . . that ideas flow best and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them.”

Many years ago while Ram Dass was under the influence of mind-altering substances at the Newport Jazz Festival, he found his way backstage. There he noticed a hole in the tent and decided to peer out of it. To his surprise, he saw another eye looking back at his. The other eye had obviously ingested similar substances, and the two eyes just stared at each other for a long, long time. Finally a voice accompanying the other eye spoke from outside the tent: “Wanna get in?” The irony, of course, was that Ram Dass already thought he was in. Yet the other guy perceived himself as in. So “inside” and “outside” are relative indeed!

In high school I envied student body president Dick Brown, who was good-looking and popular, offered everyone a smile and kind word, and had a cheerleader girlfriend. I liked Dick but envied him for being in the in-crowd ― actually its leader. By contrast, I judged myself as a less-than, dithering on the outskirts of coolness.

Years later I bumped into Dick and we hashed over high school days. I confessed that I envied him for being in the in-crowd. He laughed and told me, “That’s weird ― I always thought you were the in-crowd and I was out. I envied you.”

How powerfully we upgrade all of our relationships as we let go of seeking external validation, and recognize that the only in-crowd worth penetrating is the one that lives inside us. There and only there will we find the artist’s hand that brushes with greatness.

How Easy Can It Get? by Alan Cohen

How Easy Can It Get?

by Alan Cohen

www.alancohen.com


For a long time I have respected the work of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, a psychologist Joe Vitale applauds in his book, Zero Limits. Dr. Hew Len was assigned to duty in a ward for the criminally insane. The ward, Dr. Hew Len reports, was a highly undesirable place to work or visit because the patients were often violent. The staff had high absenteeism and turnover.

Dr. Hew Len, however, had been trained in a Hawaiian healing method called ho’oponopo, which translates as “healing by restoring balance.” Ho’oponopo teaches that the world we see is a projection of our own consciousness, and if we intend to make changes in the outer world, we must first restore balance and clarity in our own mind and heart. So Dr. Hew Len regularly took each patient in mind, and spoke to their spirit: “I’m sorry for creating you by seeing you as ill. I love you.”

The results were amazing! After a few months, shackled patients were being freed, medications were lightened significantly, and patients who had been afforded no hope of being released, were going home. Eventually the ward was closed due to attrition!

The message of this experience runs deep and has life-changing potential for all of us: We can heal the world by changing our mind about the world. Since I became aware of Dr. Hew Len’s work, I wanted to learn more about it and possibly meet him. Yet he was living in California and I was in Hawaii, and both of us were busy with travels, so I did not have the opportunity.

Recently when I was in Japan presenting some seminars, my sponsor told me, “There is going to be a lecture in your hotel ballroom this evening. Would you like to attend?” When I asked her who was presenting the lecture, she told me, “Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len.” I was amazed! Here was a man I wanted to meet showing up in the hotel I was staying at in Tokyo on the one night I had free in my schedule! All I had to do to see him was ride down an elevator!

I attended the lecture, enjoyed it very much, learned from it, and had the pleasure to meet. Dr. Hew Len. As I walked out of the meeting room I commented to my sponsor, “How easy can it get?”

As we move more deeply into a season when new school and work ventures begin, we might do well to remember Dr. Hew Len’s healing experience. If you face a difficult situation or a challenging person, your first impulse might be to try to manipulate that person to change their behavior to accede to your hopes and desires. Or get them to try to go away. Or you might be tempted to just leave. Such a moment, however, would be an excellent opportunity to heal the situation by changing your mind about it.

The ho’oponopono method is quite simple, and you can gain its benefits from even a simple understanding of it: The world you see is nothing more or less than the projection of your thoughts about it. No one outside you is doing anything to you, for you, or against you other than what you are doing to yourself. Shift your vision of that person or situation, and the person or situation will shift in accordance with your vision of them or it. Take the person or situation into mind and heart, and say, for example: “I accept responsibility for creating my experience of you by way of how I have thought about you. I now wish to change my experience by changing the version of you I am holding in my mind. I now choose to see you as loving, wise, healthy, and kind. I recognize your higher, better, and whole self. I see this situation as working out to everyone’s well being and benefit.”

The words you use are less important than the intention you hold. When you accept one hundred percent responsibility for setting the situation up as it has been, you gain one hundred percent of the power to create an outcome that works for you and everyone involved. It’s as simple as that. As Dr. Hew Len said in his lecture, “I wish I could make it more complicated. But that’s just how simple it is.”

A Course in Miracles teaches the same principle in this way: I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked. Now that’s quite a premise to accept. But that’s the level of responsibility you and I must accept if we wish to attain mastery in our life and make the world a better place.

It’s time for all of us to question our assumptions about how hard it is supposed to be. We have been taught that the way to success is through struggle and sacrifice. But that just reinforces the belief that we win by moving external pieces about with toil and difficulty. How much simpler would it be to change your mind? When you do, the person you most want to meet might be as close as an elevator ride away.