drop 36: the ultimate thermostat
Our own self image, belief, or esteem is just like our heating and cooling thermostats – it’s a cybernetic system. Interesting that in the 1960’s Maxwell Maltz wrote Psycho Cybernetics. I read it then and what struck me was that Maltz was a plastic surgeon and he noted that people with facial disfigurations, when repaired, they still saw themselves as though the disfigurations were still present.
Here is an example of how this works. I’ve chosen children and report cards, yet this works for each of us, no matter what age.
1. We set the thermostat to keep the house warm or cool at 70 degrees.
1. A child's grades over a period of time are average. This is what his report card reflects. This is what his teachers tell him. This is what his parents tell him. His work is average.
2. Someone comes into the house and leaves the front door open in winter.
2. Parents offer incentives for the child to do better and, he is temporarily inspired.
3. Signal goes to furnace to turn it on to bring the temp back to 70.
3. Inspired child works hard with some results for a short period of time.
4. When 70 degrees is restored, signal tells furnace to shut off.
4. Before long the child loses temporary inspiration and goes back to his average behavior.
To change the 'set point' as to what a child believes he can accomplish, it takes spaced repetitive and consistent feeding of information that says the child is better than average. Since most parents are simply unaware of how their own and their child's self esteem is built, they do not even know what they have done to build that image ... nor what they can do to reverse it.
As we are all born with infinite potential, it is a pity to see and hear that a child's image of himself is average (or less than average).
The 'setting' of the image can come in words like "that was stupid," "you weren't thinking," "these are terrible grades," "can't you do any better," "your brother got all A's," and so on and so forth. The more times a child hears these things, the more 'locked in' self image becomes.
Is it true -- that he is average (or that we are)? Of course it is not. But what we believe, is the truth for us. We never outperform our own self image. This is likely THE biggest reason why only a very few people are really successful. If you don't believe you can be, you will not be. I address this very issue specifically in my Think & Grow Rich mastermind studies and in my new program for communities and schools, Style & Mindset.
Wishing you a safe, warm and industrious holiday season with results in the new year that are bigger and better than ever before!
Leslie Flowers
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Prosperity Consciousness or Bargain Consciousness?
Happiness Just Ahead
A very good question was posted on a Feel Free to Prosper forum...
I thought this was an excellent subject to share with you as I have no doubt that in an economy like the current one, this subject is probably on the minds of many who desire to maintain a prosperity consciousness when outer appearances support the opposite.
The Question:
"I consider myself a good shopper: use coupons, wait for sales, buy generic, etc. But are these smart shopper "actions" sending a bad signal to my subconscious? After all, the message I want to send is "I can afford anything (at any price)." How about it, do we have to be as careful with our actions as we are with our words?"
My Answer:
What a wonderful opportunity to express my views relating to prosperity consciousness vs. bargain consciousness . . .
On the subject of sales and bargains, there is something magical that happens when you acquire a prosperity mindset.
One of the great perks of acquiring a prosperity consciousness is that savings and discounts of all kinds will follow YOU on the path. When we are connected to our Universal Source, suddenly it seems like the Universe becomes your personal shopper whose goal is to provide you with the best for your needs at the very best price. You no longer have to shop to seek the best prices - no comparison shopping, no bargain hunting. Discounts and savings seek you and appear before you spontaneously as if you are the elite member of a private wholesale club. Except that the savings you attract are often far below wholesale!
This is not to be confused with a kind of "bargain" mentality that is based on lack and the fear of not having enough. The spontaneous manifesting of savings — the real bargains — come when we accept prosperity as natural to us and we know that the Universe is providing for all our needs. It's a joyful experience. We attract bargains at the highest possible level. We are intuitively led to the right place at the right time.
Let me share just a few of my numerous experiences of being spontaneously guided in this way to 'Universal' size bargains …
I have always loved beautiful, fine quality handbags.
One year I walked into Nordstrom's department store and found an absolutely gorgeous black leather and leopard print handbag. It was extremely expensive looking, but I didn't recognize the designer name. The attached sales tag showed the price of $135 — not at all unreasonable for such a beautiful bag. It was the only one of its kind in the department. I had to have it. I handed it to the saleswoman but she looked at the tag and told me she couldn't sell it to me. She said this designer's bags sold for at least $500 or $600 and this one must have been mislabeled. Although the label was attached, she believed she was justified in refusing to sell it. The department manager wouldn't be in until the following day. We arranged for the saleswoman to put the handbag on hold and have the manager call me to give me the correct price.
The next day, the department manager called and told me the price of the handbag was $600. But since the attached tag read $135, she told me that by store policy, she had to sell the bag for the labeled price. She invited me to come and purchase my bag for $135!
I have found that expensive handbags stay new looking for years and that one still looks beautiful to this day
Another year I found an elegant Donna Karan Couture clutch handbag in a department store. It was $900 — way beyond the price I chose to spend. But I had a "hunch" to ask the saleswoman if the bag might go on sale in the near future. For some unknown reason, she looked over the bag very carefully and found an imperceptible tiny flaw hidden in a fold that no one would ever see. I certainly would not have found it. But she said that since it had that tiny flaw, she had the authority to sell it to me at half price! I never asked for this. She offered. Another beautiful bag I still use that receives many compliments.
One of my most striking experiences was the purchase of an entire collection of Villory & Boch dinnerware. I didn't set out to buy a collection — I intended to buy a few place settings of the gorgeous Plantation and Tropical Collection, which was on sale in a department store's catalogue. But when I called to place the phone order, the store had none in stock. I discovered that particular pattern had been discontinued by the manufacturer and any remaining items in circulation were selling at up to 80% off retail prices. I jumped on the opportunity and using only the telephone, I was guided to manifest the entire collection from several stores around the nation. The retail cost of the collection: over $7,000. The price I paid for everything: Under $1,500. This included not only ten settings of the dinnerware, but all of the accent pieces, accessories, flatware and bake ware.
Another time I was shopping for a specific item of sleepwear and didn't intend to buy anything else. But I was irresistibly drawn to a sale rack where I found two beautiful Ralph Lauren casual pieces — top and bottom — in my favorite shade of red. They were the only two items of that kind, both in my size and they fit perfectly. They were marked down half price but I loved the outfit so much I would have paid full price. When the items were rung up at the register, the saleswoman informed me that the half-price tag was incorrect. Instead, they scanned at $6.52 each!
A major coup was when the Universe literally handed me a beautiful new car and opened the door for me to purchase it — brand new - for about $10,000 less than retail.
Do I look for bargains? No. Do I love a bargain? Yes!
As a prosperity thinker, expect these surprises to show up in every area of your life and business — for everyday needs as well as luxury items.
The Universe is your personal shopper :-)
by Marilyn Jenett
A very good question was posted on a Feel Free to Prosper forum...
I thought this was an excellent subject to share with you as I have no doubt that in an economy like the current one, this subject is probably on the minds of many who desire to maintain a prosperity consciousness when outer appearances support the opposite.
The Question:
"I consider myself a good shopper: use coupons, wait for sales, buy generic, etc. But are these smart shopper "actions" sending a bad signal to my subconscious? After all, the message I want to send is "I can afford anything (at any price)." How about it, do we have to be as careful with our actions as we are with our words?"
My Answer:
What a wonderful opportunity to express my views relating to prosperity consciousness vs. bargain consciousness . . .
On the subject of sales and bargains, there is something magical that happens when you acquire a prosperity mindset.
One of the great perks of acquiring a prosperity consciousness is that savings and discounts of all kinds will follow YOU on the path. When we are connected to our Universal Source, suddenly it seems like the Universe becomes your personal shopper whose goal is to provide you with the best for your needs at the very best price. You no longer have to shop to seek the best prices - no comparison shopping, no bargain hunting. Discounts and savings seek you and appear before you spontaneously as if you are the elite member of a private wholesale club. Except that the savings you attract are often far below wholesale!
This is not to be confused with a kind of "bargain" mentality that is based on lack and the fear of not having enough. The spontaneous manifesting of savings — the real bargains — come when we accept prosperity as natural to us and we know that the Universe is providing for all our needs. It's a joyful experience. We attract bargains at the highest possible level. We are intuitively led to the right place at the right time.
Let me share just a few of my numerous experiences of being spontaneously guided in this way to 'Universal' size bargains …
I have always loved beautiful, fine quality handbags.
One year I walked into Nordstrom's department store and found an absolutely gorgeous black leather and leopard print handbag. It was extremely expensive looking, but I didn't recognize the designer name. The attached sales tag showed the price of $135 — not at all unreasonable for such a beautiful bag. It was the only one of its kind in the department. I had to have it. I handed it to the saleswoman but she looked at the tag and told me she couldn't sell it to me. She said this designer's bags sold for at least $500 or $600 and this one must have been mislabeled. Although the label was attached, she believed she was justified in refusing to sell it. The department manager wouldn't be in until the following day. We arranged for the saleswoman to put the handbag on hold and have the manager call me to give me the correct price.
The next day, the department manager called and told me the price of the handbag was $600. But since the attached tag read $135, she told me that by store policy, she had to sell the bag for the labeled price. She invited me to come and purchase my bag for $135!
I have found that expensive handbags stay new looking for years and that one still looks beautiful to this day
Another year I found an elegant Donna Karan Couture clutch handbag in a department store. It was $900 — way beyond the price I chose to spend. But I had a "hunch" to ask the saleswoman if the bag might go on sale in the near future. For some unknown reason, she looked over the bag very carefully and found an imperceptible tiny flaw hidden in a fold that no one would ever see. I certainly would not have found it. But she said that since it had that tiny flaw, she had the authority to sell it to me at half price! I never asked for this. She offered. Another beautiful bag I still use that receives many compliments.
One of my most striking experiences was the purchase of an entire collection of Villory & Boch dinnerware. I didn't set out to buy a collection — I intended to buy a few place settings of the gorgeous Plantation and Tropical Collection, which was on sale in a department store's catalogue. But when I called to place the phone order, the store had none in stock. I discovered that particular pattern had been discontinued by the manufacturer and any remaining items in circulation were selling at up to 80% off retail prices. I jumped on the opportunity and using only the telephone, I was guided to manifest the entire collection from several stores around the nation. The retail cost of the collection: over $7,000. The price I paid for everything: Under $1,500. This included not only ten settings of the dinnerware, but all of the accent pieces, accessories, flatware and bake ware.
Another time I was shopping for a specific item of sleepwear and didn't intend to buy anything else. But I was irresistibly drawn to a sale rack where I found two beautiful Ralph Lauren casual pieces — top and bottom — in my favorite shade of red. They were the only two items of that kind, both in my size and they fit perfectly. They were marked down half price but I loved the outfit so much I would have paid full price. When the items were rung up at the register, the saleswoman informed me that the half-price tag was incorrect. Instead, they scanned at $6.52 each!
A major coup was when the Universe literally handed me a beautiful new car and opened the door for me to purchase it — brand new - for about $10,000 less than retail.
Do I look for bargains? No. Do I love a bargain? Yes!
As a prosperity thinker, expect these surprises to show up in every area of your life and business — for everyday needs as well as luxury items.
The Universe is your personal shopper :-)
by Marilyn Jenett
It’s time to write your Abundance Checks!
Abundance Check Ritual for the New Moon
This ritual has been handed down through so many people that its origin has become unknown.
So What Is An Abundance Check?
Writing an Abundance Check is an exercise you can use to create more abundance in your life and the check is to be written within 24 hours after each New Moon.
It is not necessary to believe that the check will work when you write it and you may be surprised at the increased Abundance you find flowing into your life, whether it be financial or in other areas of your life.
It is best to follow the described procedure; however, if you do not have a checking account you may also draw a check on a piece of paper and fill it out the same way to receive the same results.
Follow these steps to write your Abundance checks WITHIN 24 HOURS AFTER A NEW MOON:
1. On your check where it says “Pay to,” write your name.
2. On the same line where you would fill in a dollar amount write “Paid in full.”
3. On the next line where you would write out a dollar amount, write “Paid in full.” [Some say it works better if you don't add the squiggly line.]
4. On the signature line, sign your check: “The Law of Abundance”
It is not necessary to put a date on the check and you DO NOT write a specific dollar amount on the check. Then put the check away in a safe place and forget about it. The Universe will take over from there.
If you feel skeptical about the Abundance Check Exercise, just do it routinely every month for a while and see what happens!
Enjoy the ritual!
. . . . . . . .
The dates for the New Moon for the remainder of 2010 are as follows. Times listed are “Greenwich Mean Time” and you can calculate your own time zone here:
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/
Mark your calendar and remember to follow this process within 24 hours after each New Moon…
New Moon for December, 2010 is December 5 [at 9:36am PST].
Happy Manifesting!
In sincere appreciation,
Linda Miller
http://lawofattractionsecrets.com/blog/abundance-checks-5/
This ritual has been handed down through so many people that its origin has become unknown.
So What Is An Abundance Check?
Writing an Abundance Check is an exercise you can use to create more abundance in your life and the check is to be written within 24 hours after each New Moon.
It is not necessary to believe that the check will work when you write it and you may be surprised at the increased Abundance you find flowing into your life, whether it be financial or in other areas of your life.
It is best to follow the described procedure; however, if you do not have a checking account you may also draw a check on a piece of paper and fill it out the same way to receive the same results.
Follow these steps to write your Abundance checks WITHIN 24 HOURS AFTER A NEW MOON:
1. On your check where it says “Pay to,” write your name.
2. On the same line where you would fill in a dollar amount write “Paid in full.”
3. On the next line where you would write out a dollar amount, write “Paid in full.” [Some say it works better if you don't add the squiggly line.]
4. On the signature line, sign your check: “The Law of Abundance”
It is not necessary to put a date on the check and you DO NOT write a specific dollar amount on the check. Then put the check away in a safe place and forget about it. The Universe will take over from there.
If you feel skeptical about the Abundance Check Exercise, just do it routinely every month for a while and see what happens!
Enjoy the ritual!
. . . . . . . .
The dates for the New Moon for the remainder of 2010 are as follows. Times listed are “Greenwich Mean Time” and you can calculate your own time zone here:
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/
Mark your calendar and remember to follow this process within 24 hours after each New Moon…
New Moon for December, 2010 is December 5 [at 9:36am PST].
Happy Manifesting!
In sincere appreciation,
Linda Miller
http://lawofattractionsecrets.com/blog/abundance-checks-5/
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Connecting to Source requires Surrender
According to Eckhart Tolle, connecting to Source requires Surrender — a Truth expressed in the "Tao of Leadership."
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
By yielding, I endure. The empty space is filled.
When I give of myself, I become more.
When I feel most destroyed, I am about to grow.
When I desire nothing, A great deal comes to me.
........
Some days are just waiting to be shared with like-minded souls who believe in fun and laughter! ... Happy day to you!
~Glenda
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
By yielding, I endure. The empty space is filled.
When I give of myself, I become more.
When I feel most destroyed, I am about to grow.
When I desire nothing, A great deal comes to me.
........
Some days are just waiting to be shared with like-minded souls who believe in fun and laughter! ... Happy day to you!
~Glenda
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
“It Takes One to Know One..”
“It Takes One to Know One..”
Nick Pfennigwerth
Have you ever heard the saying, “It takes one to know one?” I'm sure you have before. You were probably among a group of people and some moron was talking about last night's public address to the Nation. This guy was emphasizing on the opinion of how Obama is going to just raise taxes and create an even further pit fall for this Nation.
This person goes on and talks about Obama's unmoral ethics, his inability to lead a country, and his indecisiviness that will hurt our nation when it matters the most. “What about his plan for alternative fuels and new energy? What about his plan for Universal Health Care? How about his idea for creating new jobs?” You ask yourself. “He seems like a good leader to me.”
You sit there and observe how everyone is getting sucked in to this persons bashing of our President and all you see are the trance like stares and heads nodding and agreeing with every word coming out of this persons mouth.
As you sit there, at this political rally, you think to yourself, “Are you kidding me? These people voted for this person a year ago and now they are bashing him and labeling him unethical, a moron, unfit to run a country, indecisive, and so on.”
takes-one-to-know-one
Then, under your breath, you say, “I guess it takes one to know one.”
Somebody in the negative bashing group says, “Excuse me? Did you say something?”
You reply, “Oh-no...I was just thinking out-loud. It was nothing.”
Finally, you sit there for a few more seconds and say again, “It takes one to know one...It takes one to know one...Wait! It takes one to know one? Then, what does this say about me!?!”
You get up and exit stage right vowing to never participate in something like that again.
“It takes one to know one.” How true is that on so many levels? I began investigating the truth behind that saying and after what I've discovered, I decided to make that October's mantra for me.
Go ahead and write that down, “It takes one to know one”, and carry it around with you for a week. Whenever you think of something, say something, make an observation, judge, have an experience, or participate in an event, say to yourself, “It takes one to know one.”
When I did this, I started to become aware of the person I really was. I understood that there is no “out there” only “inside me.” In other words, you are the projector and the movie screen is your life. So, what movie are you projecting onto the screen of life?
I got so hung-up on this concept I tested it for a whole week. After listening to someone speak or observing an event or experience, I would say silently to myself, “It takes one to know one.” It was an obsession, but I had to know if it was an accurate way to measure my self image and projection of life.
Half of the time I didn't like what I've found. However, the other half I was pleased to say that I was proud of the movie playing on my screen.
It takes one (that's you) to know one (that's the person, place, event, or experience you are observing and labeling.)
Just the other day I was at the grocery store looking for the ingredients to ham and potato chowder. However, if you ask anyone in New Hampshire where the “chowder” mix is they'll give you a blank stare. You have to say “chowda”, then they'll give you precise and accurate directions to the goods (just teasing, I love New Hampshire :)
Anyway, I was browsing in the organic vegetable isle looking for a few organic onions and green peppers, when I couldn't help to over hear a conversation a woman was having with her daughter.
It went something like this. The Daughter (probably 8 years old): “Mommy...this onion looks good, I want that one.” The Mother: “Sweety, we are on a tight budget and near broke. We can't afford the organic food.”
I stood there for a few seconds thinking, “I can't afford it? Broke? She's programming her daughter to be part of the most widespread sickness of them all: poverty.” Judgment and label after label kept flowing into my mind until I caught myself and said, “It takes one to know one.”
Immediately my eyes popped! And I thought, “Holy s**t! I'm the very thing I'm judging and condemning!...It takes one to know one!”
Since it was in my experience, and I know that my experiences are nothing more than a projection of myself, then “It takes one..” (which is me) “to know one” (which is the Mother) means on some level that “being broke” or “can't afford it” was still part of me.
Now, what I just said is a tough pill to swallow. What I'm basically saying is you are not separate from anything. Everything you see and label outside yourself is an inner projection of your self image.
And I can back up that last paragraph with this simple question: “How can you label and judge anything without first thinking that judgment about yourself?”
Since the only thing you truly own is your thinking, then that judgment and label is a part owner of you.
O.k., how many readers dropped off after that statement? Stick with me, I promise this article is life transforming.
There was also a moment the other day when I was sitting in a canoe, all alone, in the middle of a lake in up-state Maine. I was completely off the grid with no cellphone service, no electricity, and no concept of time.
upstate-maine
I was sitting there, writing, and admiring the peace and beauty of the mountains, different color trees, and the picturesque, breath-taking view. I call it “God's Country” because this is something man can never create.
Then, I remembered my October's mantra and quietly said to myself, “It takes one to know one.” And a calming, loving peacefulness showered me and I thought, “Yea...it takes one to know one...” Meaning, if I can think and observe this vast beauty and peace, then I must be this beauty and peace.
I observed the beauty, I thought the beauty, therefore on some level I am the beauty.
Go ahead and try this out for a week. As best as you can, whenever you think something, judge, label, observe, interact, or have an experience, say to yourself, “It takes one to know one.” Then, understand that you are uncovering a truth about you. It's who you are!
If a reoccurring experience, judgment, or label keeps on happening, for example, you notice how many idiot drivers there are on the road each time you go out, then all I have to say is, “It takes one to know one!”
This is just a tool to help you uncover your truth --who you are. In other words, did you ever notice that when there is a problem you are there? You're there because the problem is you. Change yourself, change your world. Change the movie and the movie screen changes, too.
Since you attract who you are and not what you want, then you must know who you truly are, so you can change to who you want to become.
It takes one to know one.
Nick Pfennigwerth
Creative Wealth Building
http://www.creative-wealthbuilding.com/aboutme.html
Nick Pfennigwerth
Have you ever heard the saying, “It takes one to know one?” I'm sure you have before. You were probably among a group of people and some moron was talking about last night's public address to the Nation. This guy was emphasizing on the opinion of how Obama is going to just raise taxes and create an even further pit fall for this Nation.
This person goes on and talks about Obama's unmoral ethics, his inability to lead a country, and his indecisiviness that will hurt our nation when it matters the most. “What about his plan for alternative fuels and new energy? What about his plan for Universal Health Care? How about his idea for creating new jobs?” You ask yourself. “He seems like a good leader to me.”
You sit there and observe how everyone is getting sucked in to this persons bashing of our President and all you see are the trance like stares and heads nodding and agreeing with every word coming out of this persons mouth.
As you sit there, at this political rally, you think to yourself, “Are you kidding me? These people voted for this person a year ago and now they are bashing him and labeling him unethical, a moron, unfit to run a country, indecisive, and so on.”
takes-one-to-know-one
Then, under your breath, you say, “I guess it takes one to know one.”
Somebody in the negative bashing group says, “Excuse me? Did you say something?”
You reply, “Oh-no...I was just thinking out-loud. It was nothing.”
Finally, you sit there for a few more seconds and say again, “It takes one to know one...It takes one to know one...Wait! It takes one to know one? Then, what does this say about me!?!”
You get up and exit stage right vowing to never participate in something like that again.
“It takes one to know one.” How true is that on so many levels? I began investigating the truth behind that saying and after what I've discovered, I decided to make that October's mantra for me.
Go ahead and write that down, “It takes one to know one”, and carry it around with you for a week. Whenever you think of something, say something, make an observation, judge, have an experience, or participate in an event, say to yourself, “It takes one to know one.”
When I did this, I started to become aware of the person I really was. I understood that there is no “out there” only “inside me.” In other words, you are the projector and the movie screen is your life. So, what movie are you projecting onto the screen of life?
I got so hung-up on this concept I tested it for a whole week. After listening to someone speak or observing an event or experience, I would say silently to myself, “It takes one to know one.” It was an obsession, but I had to know if it was an accurate way to measure my self image and projection of life.
Half of the time I didn't like what I've found. However, the other half I was pleased to say that I was proud of the movie playing on my screen.
It takes one (that's you) to know one (that's the person, place, event, or experience you are observing and labeling.)
Just the other day I was at the grocery store looking for the ingredients to ham and potato chowder. However, if you ask anyone in New Hampshire where the “chowder” mix is they'll give you a blank stare. You have to say “chowda”, then they'll give you precise and accurate directions to the goods (just teasing, I love New Hampshire :)
Anyway, I was browsing in the organic vegetable isle looking for a few organic onions and green peppers, when I couldn't help to over hear a conversation a woman was having with her daughter.
It went something like this. The Daughter (probably 8 years old): “Mommy...this onion looks good, I want that one.” The Mother: “Sweety, we are on a tight budget and near broke. We can't afford the organic food.”
I stood there for a few seconds thinking, “I can't afford it? Broke? She's programming her daughter to be part of the most widespread sickness of them all: poverty.” Judgment and label after label kept flowing into my mind until I caught myself and said, “It takes one to know one.”
Immediately my eyes popped! And I thought, “Holy s**t! I'm the very thing I'm judging and condemning!...It takes one to know one!”
Since it was in my experience, and I know that my experiences are nothing more than a projection of myself, then “It takes one..” (which is me) “to know one” (which is the Mother) means on some level that “being broke” or “can't afford it” was still part of me.
Now, what I just said is a tough pill to swallow. What I'm basically saying is you are not separate from anything. Everything you see and label outside yourself is an inner projection of your self image.
And I can back up that last paragraph with this simple question: “How can you label and judge anything without first thinking that judgment about yourself?”
Since the only thing you truly own is your thinking, then that judgment and label is a part owner of you.
O.k., how many readers dropped off after that statement? Stick with me, I promise this article is life transforming.
There was also a moment the other day when I was sitting in a canoe, all alone, in the middle of a lake in up-state Maine. I was completely off the grid with no cellphone service, no electricity, and no concept of time.
upstate-maine
I was sitting there, writing, and admiring the peace and beauty of the mountains, different color trees, and the picturesque, breath-taking view. I call it “God's Country” because this is something man can never create.
Then, I remembered my October's mantra and quietly said to myself, “It takes one to know one.” And a calming, loving peacefulness showered me and I thought, “Yea...it takes one to know one...” Meaning, if I can think and observe this vast beauty and peace, then I must be this beauty and peace.
I observed the beauty, I thought the beauty, therefore on some level I am the beauty.
Go ahead and try this out for a week. As best as you can, whenever you think something, judge, label, observe, interact, or have an experience, say to yourself, “It takes one to know one.” Then, understand that you are uncovering a truth about you. It's who you are!
If a reoccurring experience, judgment, or label keeps on happening, for example, you notice how many idiot drivers there are on the road each time you go out, then all I have to say is, “It takes one to know one!”
This is just a tool to help you uncover your truth --who you are. In other words, did you ever notice that when there is a problem you are there? You're there because the problem is you. Change yourself, change your world. Change the movie and the movie screen changes, too.
Since you attract who you are and not what you want, then you must know who you truly are, so you can change to who you want to become.
It takes one to know one.
Nick Pfennigwerth
Creative Wealth Building
http://www.creative-wealthbuilding.com/aboutme.html
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Heart to Heart
Heart to Heart
Marilyn Jenett
In brief, the researchers had followed the lives of many heart transplant patients. And even though the patients did not know who their donors were, they incredibly took on the personality traits and preferences of the donors. The findings were most often based on accounts from family members of the patients.
Here is just one example that was shared...
A man received a heart from a young black man who died. After the transplant, the patient suddenly developed a strong passion for classical music. His family couldn't understand what had happened as the man's life began to revolve completely around classical music. When asked his opinion about the kind of music young black men enjoy, the patient said he had always assumed it was rap music. But what the patient never knew was that the young man who gave him the heart was returning from his violin lessons when he was hit by a car and died. The donor's life had completely revolved around classical music.
According to the details of the radio interview, it was obvious that this was a common occurrence. The doctor went into much detail about their findings.
I spent some time assimilating the information and waiting for insights of my own about this subject. So many thoughts were going through my mind...
It would appear that our heart is not just our bodily organ. I have learned and teach that the subconscious mind has a perfect memory of every cell in our body and can heal us. It is also a perfect record of everything we have ever heard, said, felt and experienced. This is common knowledge in psychological and metaphysical circles. In fact, in metaphysical terms, the subconscious mind is known as the "heart."
But the thought that the actual physical organ of our body - the heart - is also a living blueprint of our personalities that can transcend the body - is a striking revelation.
And then I thought...perhaps every living cell of our bodies contains our personalities. Could this mean that any transplanted organ would carry the personality traits of the donor to the recipient? Or is our physical heart truly the center of our most passionate, beloved desires, spiritual ideals and aspirations that it will carry with it wherever it goes, even if it leaves its original body?
And what if the donor is not a positive loving person with high aspirations - perhaps a criminal donor? Would those personality traits carry over to the recipient patient? Would the patient's own personality traits be able to buffer any negative potential?
And of course, we can even conjure up a bit of Twilight Zone. If the donor's passion for a kind of music can transfer to the recipient, could the donor's passion for a particular person be transferred - if the patient were to meet that particular person? Yikes...my imagination was going wild. Except....except...
Heartfelt
I did catch a movie on television shortly afterwards about a female heart transplant patient who had an irresistible attraction to the young daughter of a man whose wife had died. She was accused of stalking the young girl but could not stay away from her. Long story short, it turned out that the patient had received the heart of the father's wife - the young girl's mother. Oh well, it was only a movie. Except...except...
As I researched the subject, I found someone who had read a book by a woman who was one of the first heart and lung transplant recipients. The patient was a classical dancer, but after the transplant surgery, she immediately started craving beer and hot dogs and driving fast cars. She later discovered that her donor was a teenage boy who died in a motorcycle accident. She eventually was able to meet his family and everything that she now craved were things that were important to him. And this was a TRUE story!
A little more research and I found the book. Claire Sylvia's story was made into a feature film for television in 2002 titled Heart of a Stranger and starred Jane Seymour. (You can google Claire Sylvia to find more details)
This paragraph from the book jacket says it all:
This is a story that must be told and heard...a fascinating example of how cellular memory can outlive physical death. -- Deepok Chopra
You Gotta Have Heart
Now I ask you to think about this...
If a physical heart can travel to another human body and carry with it the passions, preferences, and desires of its former owner, what is the impact that your own heart has on you? What kind of influence does your heart have on your life experience, your circumstances and the manifestation of your desires?
In studying prosperity laws, we learn that our words and our thoughts create dominant ideas in our mind that become our circumstances. But if your words and thoughts are infused with feeling - specifically the feeling of the end result - you possess the greatest manifesting tool in the universe, indeed.
When we put real feeling into something we are doing, isn't it said that we "put our heart into it?"
We can say all the words and affirmations we want...we can even fool ourselves - and others - with our words and actions. But ultimately the greatest impact in our lives and in the results we gain from applying mental and spiritual laws will come from the "whisperings" of our heart. That's where the truth of the matter lies. It's in the whisperings of our heart - and the seat of our subconscious.
You can't fool your heart. It knows the truth about you.
But to me the most amazing thing in the world is that we can have a change of heart (of course I don't mean a transplant but that's equally amazing!)
What's in your heart right now? Could you use a change of heart?
Take heart
~ Marilyn
© Copyright 2010 Marilyn Jenett, Feel Free to Prosper
All rights reserved
Marilyn Jenett
In brief, the researchers had followed the lives of many heart transplant patients. And even though the patients did not know who their donors were, they incredibly took on the personality traits and preferences of the donors. The findings were most often based on accounts from family members of the patients.
Here is just one example that was shared...
A man received a heart from a young black man who died. After the transplant, the patient suddenly developed a strong passion for classical music. His family couldn't understand what had happened as the man's life began to revolve completely around classical music. When asked his opinion about the kind of music young black men enjoy, the patient said he had always assumed it was rap music. But what the patient never knew was that the young man who gave him the heart was returning from his violin lessons when he was hit by a car and died. The donor's life had completely revolved around classical music.
According to the details of the radio interview, it was obvious that this was a common occurrence. The doctor went into much detail about their findings.
I spent some time assimilating the information and waiting for insights of my own about this subject. So many thoughts were going through my mind...
It would appear that our heart is not just our bodily organ. I have learned and teach that the subconscious mind has a perfect memory of every cell in our body and can heal us. It is also a perfect record of everything we have ever heard, said, felt and experienced. This is common knowledge in psychological and metaphysical circles. In fact, in metaphysical terms, the subconscious mind is known as the "heart."
But the thought that the actual physical organ of our body - the heart - is also a living blueprint of our personalities that can transcend the body - is a striking revelation.
And then I thought...perhaps every living cell of our bodies contains our personalities. Could this mean that any transplanted organ would carry the personality traits of the donor to the recipient? Or is our physical heart truly the center of our most passionate, beloved desires, spiritual ideals and aspirations that it will carry with it wherever it goes, even if it leaves its original body?
And what if the donor is not a positive loving person with high aspirations - perhaps a criminal donor? Would those personality traits carry over to the recipient patient? Would the patient's own personality traits be able to buffer any negative potential?
And of course, we can even conjure up a bit of Twilight Zone. If the donor's passion for a kind of music can transfer to the recipient, could the donor's passion for a particular person be transferred - if the patient were to meet that particular person? Yikes...my imagination was going wild. Except....except...
Heartfelt
I did catch a movie on television shortly afterwards about a female heart transplant patient who had an irresistible attraction to the young daughter of a man whose wife had died. She was accused of stalking the young girl but could not stay away from her. Long story short, it turned out that the patient had received the heart of the father's wife - the young girl's mother. Oh well, it was only a movie. Except...except...
As I researched the subject, I found someone who had read a book by a woman who was one of the first heart and lung transplant recipients. The patient was a classical dancer, but after the transplant surgery, she immediately started craving beer and hot dogs and driving fast cars. She later discovered that her donor was a teenage boy who died in a motorcycle accident. She eventually was able to meet his family and everything that she now craved were things that were important to him. And this was a TRUE story!
A little more research and I found the book. Claire Sylvia's story was made into a feature film for television in 2002 titled Heart of a Stranger and starred Jane Seymour. (You can google Claire Sylvia to find more details)
This paragraph from the book jacket says it all:
This is a story that must be told and heard...a fascinating example of how cellular memory can outlive physical death. -- Deepok Chopra
You Gotta Have Heart
Now I ask you to think about this...
If a physical heart can travel to another human body and carry with it the passions, preferences, and desires of its former owner, what is the impact that your own heart has on you? What kind of influence does your heart have on your life experience, your circumstances and the manifestation of your desires?
In studying prosperity laws, we learn that our words and our thoughts create dominant ideas in our mind that become our circumstances. But if your words and thoughts are infused with feeling - specifically the feeling of the end result - you possess the greatest manifesting tool in the universe, indeed.
When we put real feeling into something we are doing, isn't it said that we "put our heart into it?"
We can say all the words and affirmations we want...we can even fool ourselves - and others - with our words and actions. But ultimately the greatest impact in our lives and in the results we gain from applying mental and spiritual laws will come from the "whisperings" of our heart. That's where the truth of the matter lies. It's in the whisperings of our heart - and the seat of our subconscious.
You can't fool your heart. It knows the truth about you.
But to me the most amazing thing in the world is that we can have a change of heart (of course I don't mean a transplant but that's equally amazing!)
What's in your heart right now? Could you use a change of heart?
Take heart
~ Marilyn
© Copyright 2010 Marilyn Jenett, Feel Free to Prosper
All rights reserved
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability has increased."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
An Inspirational Reminder…..
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice in your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee must begin with YOU, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you rnext fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideas of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”
You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things you take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: A full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can, to design the life you want to live.
[This is an abridged version of the poem.]
Peace and Joy,
Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
"Choice is focused intent. It triggers belief, attitude, feeling and decision-making. Choice is the keystone to creation and manifestation. Choice changes neural pathways. It can engage the unconscious to override the subconscious. Choice opens gateways to the future, to the possible and to your many possibilities."
Lazaris
Questions regarding the content of this newsletter, comments or written contributions can be directed to inspirationcontact@yahoo.com. Please remember that I cannot provide you with any advice of a personal nature. But help is out there somewhere! Do reach out and get a qualified professional to help you sort through your issues. Please check out my web site www.AngriesOut.com for ideas and numerous downloadable articles on a wide range of subjects. You can also click on the ‘Finding a Therapist’ link to take you to the section entitled, “Finding a Competent Therapist with Great Training.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
An Inspirational Reminder…..
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice in your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee must begin with YOU, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you rnext fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideas of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”
You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things you take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: A full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can, to design the life you want to live.
[This is an abridged version of the poem.]
Peace and Joy,
Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
"Choice is focused intent. It triggers belief, attitude, feeling and decision-making. Choice is the keystone to creation and manifestation. Choice changes neural pathways. It can engage the unconscious to override the subconscious. Choice opens gateways to the future, to the possible and to your many possibilities."
Lazaris
Questions regarding the content of this newsletter, comments or written contributions can be directed to inspirationcontact@yahoo.com. Please remember that I cannot provide you with any advice of a personal nature. But help is out there somewhere! Do reach out and get a qualified professional to help you sort through your issues. Please check out my web site www.AngriesOut.com for ideas and numerous downloadable articles on a wide range of subjects. You can also click on the ‘Finding a Therapist’ link to take you to the section entitled, “Finding a Competent Therapist with Great Training.”
Monday, August 23, 2010
Distinctive Ring Tones
Distinctive Ring Tones
So we see, to play successfully the game of life, we must train the imaging faculty. A person with an imaging faculty trained to image only good, brings into his life "every righteous desire of his heart" - health, wealth, love, friends, perfect self-expression, his highest ideals.
— Florence Scovel Shinn
In the film Tin Cup, Kevin Costner’s character proclaims, “When the defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you.” We have been led to believe that life determines who we are, when at every moment we determine what our life is.
One strong metaphor for attuning to your unique guidance is the cell phone. Most people have a unique cell phone ring tone. We choose melodies and songs that we enjoy and that represent our unique taste and style. When cell phones first became popular, there were no distinctive tones, so when I stood in line at an airport, for example, a cell phone would ring and five people would each reach for their phone, in case someone was calling them. Now the rings are so distinctive that you reach for your call and not someone else’s.
Your soul’s calling also has a distinct tone. When your inner voice speaks to you it bestows a feeling of peace, ease, flow, aliveness, and a sense of coming home. By contrast, the voice of the ego, or fear, is burdensome, demanding, and disquieting. When considering whether to hearken to a voice within you, test its frequency. Is it broadcasting from fear, or love? Practice picking up the phone for love calls and refuse to answer the fear calls. As a Chasidic sage nobly stated, “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.”
Do you recognize the frequency of your own true inner voice?
Considering a decision before you, what does the voice of love say to you?
I listen to the my own true voice and I act on it with confidence.
I am always guided to my greater good.
Wisdom for Today © 2010 by Alan Cohen www.alancohen.com
So we see, to play successfully the game of life, we must train the imaging faculty. A person with an imaging faculty trained to image only good, brings into his life "every righteous desire of his heart" - health, wealth, love, friends, perfect self-expression, his highest ideals.
— Florence Scovel Shinn
In the film Tin Cup, Kevin Costner’s character proclaims, “When the defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you.” We have been led to believe that life determines who we are, when at every moment we determine what our life is.
One strong metaphor for attuning to your unique guidance is the cell phone. Most people have a unique cell phone ring tone. We choose melodies and songs that we enjoy and that represent our unique taste and style. When cell phones first became popular, there were no distinctive tones, so when I stood in line at an airport, for example, a cell phone would ring and five people would each reach for their phone, in case someone was calling them. Now the rings are so distinctive that you reach for your call and not someone else’s.
Your soul’s calling also has a distinct tone. When your inner voice speaks to you it bestows a feeling of peace, ease, flow, aliveness, and a sense of coming home. By contrast, the voice of the ego, or fear, is burdensome, demanding, and disquieting. When considering whether to hearken to a voice within you, test its frequency. Is it broadcasting from fear, or love? Practice picking up the phone for love calls and refuse to answer the fear calls. As a Chasidic sage nobly stated, “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.”
Do you recognize the frequency of your own true inner voice?
Considering a decision before you, what does the voice of love say to you?
I listen to the my own true voice and I act on it with confidence.
I am always guided to my greater good.
Wisdom for Today © 2010 by Alan Cohen www.alancohen.com
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Stable Mule
The Stable Mule
Ranchers have a trick to deal with a corral of skittish horses: they place a mule in their midst. Mules are generally more relaxed and laid-back than horses, and they exert a calming influence on high-strung equines.
If you find yourself in the midst of a tense office, family gathering, or traffic jam, you serve yourself and those around you best by being the mule. Do whatever you can to keep yourself peaceful, no matter how crazy the people around you are getting. The person who is least upset is in the best position to recognize creative solutions helpful to everyone. Regardless of what action you take, inner peace is the greatest contribution you can make anywhere, anytime.
You can also apply this principle when you find yourself getting upset. While fearful or chaotic thoughts and feelings may be running rampant within you like spooked horses, you also have a calm mule inside you that can bring a soothing energy to your world if you invite it into the corral. If you start to feel frantic about anything, bring forth your inner mule.
Your life is an interplay of frequencies of experience. You have the power to choose frequencies that match your intentions. Inner peace is not a random event created by outer conditions. It is a purposeful experience created by inner choice.
The pure love of one person can offset the hatred of millions.
— Mahatma Gandhi
Alan Cohen
Ranchers have a trick to deal with a corral of skittish horses: they place a mule in their midst. Mules are generally more relaxed and laid-back than horses, and they exert a calming influence on high-strung equines.
If you find yourself in the midst of a tense office, family gathering, or traffic jam, you serve yourself and those around you best by being the mule. Do whatever you can to keep yourself peaceful, no matter how crazy the people around you are getting. The person who is least upset is in the best position to recognize creative solutions helpful to everyone. Regardless of what action you take, inner peace is the greatest contribution you can make anywhere, anytime.
You can also apply this principle when you find yourself getting upset. While fearful or chaotic thoughts and feelings may be running rampant within you like spooked horses, you also have a calm mule inside you that can bring a soothing energy to your world if you invite it into the corral. If you start to feel frantic about anything, bring forth your inner mule.
Your life is an interplay of frequencies of experience. You have the power to choose frequencies that match your intentions. Inner peace is not a random event created by outer conditions. It is a purposeful experience created by inner choice.
The pure love of one person can offset the hatred of millions.
— Mahatma Gandhi
Alan Cohen
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Good Things Come to Those Who Ask
Good Things Come to Those Who Ask
Asking for what you need is probably the most underutilized tool for people. And yet, amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they've asked for it!
Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.
They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. More than likely, though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they're already saying it to themselves by not asking!
Do you ask for what you want or are you afraid of rejection?
Consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection! You're not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn't have what you asked for before you asked and you still don't, so what did you lose?
Being rejected doesn't hold you back from anything. Only YOU hold yourself back. When you realize that there's no merit to rejection, you'll feel more comfortable asking for things. You may just need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.
How to Ask for What You Want
There’s a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life. And while I recommend you learn more by studying The Aladdin Factor, here are some quick tips to get you started:
1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It is a done deal. Ask as if you expect to get a “yes.”
2. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. If you are going to assume, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume you can get a table by the window. Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a scholarship, that you can get a raise, that you can get tickets at this late date. Don’t ever assume against yourself.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. Who would I have to speak to get... Who is authorized to make a decision about... What would have to happen for me to get...
4. Be clear and specific. In my seminars, I often ask, “Who wants more money in their life?” I’ll pick someone who raised their hand and give them a quarter, asking, “Is that enough for you?” “No? Well, how would I know how much you want? How would anybody know?”
You need to ask for a specific number. Too many people are walking around wanting more of something, but not being specific enough to obtain it.
5. Ask repeatedly. One of the most important Success Principles is the commitment to not give up.
Whenever we’re asking others to participate in the fulfillment of our goals, some people are going to say “no.” They may have other priorities, commitments and reasons not to participate. It’s no reflection on you.
Just get used to the idea that there’s going to be a lot of rejection along the way to the brass ring. The key is to not give up. When someone says “No”— you say “NEXT!” Why?
Because when you keep on asking, even the same person again and again...they might say “yes”...
…on a different day
…when they are in a better mood
…when you have new data to present
…after you’ve proven your commitment to them
…when circumstances have changed
…when you’ve learned how to close better
…when you’ve established better rapport
…when they trust you more
…when you have paid your dues
…when the economy is better
…and so on.
Kids know this Success Principle better than anyone. They will ask the same person over and over again without any hesitation. (can you relate?)
Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. Practice asking and you'll get very good at it! You'll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.
Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life, and start asking.
Remember, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE… if you dare to ask!
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Asking for what you need is probably the most underutilized tool for people. And yet, amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they've asked for it!
Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.
They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. More than likely, though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they're already saying it to themselves by not asking!
Do you ask for what you want or are you afraid of rejection?
Consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection! You're not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn't have what you asked for before you asked and you still don't, so what did you lose?
Being rejected doesn't hold you back from anything. Only YOU hold yourself back. When you realize that there's no merit to rejection, you'll feel more comfortable asking for things. You may just need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.
How to Ask for What You Want
There’s a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life. And while I recommend you learn more by studying The Aladdin Factor, here are some quick tips to get you started:
1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It is a done deal. Ask as if you expect to get a “yes.”
2. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. If you are going to assume, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume you can get a table by the window. Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a scholarship, that you can get a raise, that you can get tickets at this late date. Don’t ever assume against yourself.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. Who would I have to speak to get... Who is authorized to make a decision about... What would have to happen for me to get...
4. Be clear and specific. In my seminars, I often ask, “Who wants more money in their life?” I’ll pick someone who raised their hand and give them a quarter, asking, “Is that enough for you?” “No? Well, how would I know how much you want? How would anybody know?”
You need to ask for a specific number. Too many people are walking around wanting more of something, but not being specific enough to obtain it.
5. Ask repeatedly. One of the most important Success Principles is the commitment to not give up.
Whenever we’re asking others to participate in the fulfillment of our goals, some people are going to say “no.” They may have other priorities, commitments and reasons not to participate. It’s no reflection on you.
Just get used to the idea that there’s going to be a lot of rejection along the way to the brass ring. The key is to not give up. When someone says “No”— you say “NEXT!” Why?
Because when you keep on asking, even the same person again and again...they might say “yes”...
…on a different day
…when they are in a better mood
…when you have new data to present
…after you’ve proven your commitment to them
…when circumstances have changed
…when you’ve learned how to close better
…when you’ve established better rapport
…when they trust you more
…when you have paid your dues
…when the economy is better
…and so on.
Kids know this Success Principle better than anyone. They will ask the same person over and over again without any hesitation. (can you relate?)
Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. Practice asking and you'll get very good at it! You'll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.
Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life, and start asking.
Remember, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE… if you dare to ask!
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
THE MAGIC OF RELEASING LIMITING BELIEFS
"Like each of us, I've been hired by the Universe to be myself."
- Michael Beckwith
"I AM good enough!" "I AM lovable!" "It IS OK to live my dream!" These are some of the profound declarations my clients make as they release limiting beliefs. These are extraordinary moments when they realize what's been holding them back and they release a lifetime of resistance. With a certainty that comes from the depths of their being, they declare to all the Universe: "It's MY life!" "I AM worthy!" "I AM supposed to get what I want!"
Michael Beckwith writes eloquently about his childhood realization that the boy his family saw was not the Michael he knew himself to be. "At that moment," Michael writes, "I consciously shut down my cosmic connection and began conforming myself to labels that boxed me into being someone that everyone would be comfortable around."
Our circumstances are individual and unique, but the results are often similar: We come to view ourselves the way others see us rather than Who We Really Are. We learn to live with disappointment. We acquiesce to being OK without the money, the health, the relationships we desire. We're even tempted to stop desiring altogether if only it will stop the pain. But it never feels right to do without, to settle for less, to give up on our dreams. It just never feels right.
There's a battle going on within us when we harbor limiting beliefs. On the one hand, we KNOW we came here to create what we desire. We KNOW we're supposed to have desires and the Universe is supposed to fulfill those desires. On the other hand, we've become convinced we can't really have what we want. Not really. Oh, maybe we think we can have some of what we want - but only if we work very hard and if we're very "good" or very lucky.
This battle continues to rage every day of our lives until we root out the limiting beliefs that keep us from living what we came here knowing - that we CAN have what we want, that physical life experience is set up to inspire desire, that we're co-creating with the Universe to fulfill our desires. Of course, the Universe IS fulfilling our desires. It's just that we can't access the fulfillment of those desires until we ALLOW it in, until we BELIEVE we can, until we let go of "I can't" and re-connect with what our True Self knows for sure - "YES, I CAN!" "I get to choose!"
We know this - no matter how much we try to stuff it down with food or numb it with drugs or run away from it with distractions. It's still there, calling to us. "I really CAN have it all!" "I AM free!"
Until we release and replace limiting beliefs, they continue to undermine every thought, every choice, every decision we make. Limiting beliefs block the manifestation of our desires. Limiting beliefs block our natural state of Well-Being. As I assist my clients to shine a light on their limiting beliefs, they are able to break the chains and take back their power, their freedom, and their joy: "It IS OK to live my own life!" "I DO deserve the good things in life!" It IS OK to have money!
Once we release a negative, limiting belief, the positive, empowering "YES, I CAN!" knowing steps up quite naturally to replace it. Then, everything shifts. We click back into Who We Really Are and who we came here to be and life becomes a dance - the way we knew it could be.
We live in a Universe of abundance, limited only by our beliefs. When we change our underlying beliefs, everything changes. When we replace negative, limiting beliefs with joyful, empowering beliefs, we release resistance to our natural state of Well-Being. When we do this, the battle is over and we're re-connected with Who We Really Are. When we release limiting beliefs, we re-align with Source and are moved to passionately declare: "I AM magnificent!" "I CAN have what I want!" "YES, I CAN!"
kate@goldstarcoaching.com
- Michael Beckwith
"I AM good enough!" "I AM lovable!" "It IS OK to live my dream!" These are some of the profound declarations my clients make as they release limiting beliefs. These are extraordinary moments when they realize what's been holding them back and they release a lifetime of resistance. With a certainty that comes from the depths of their being, they declare to all the Universe: "It's MY life!" "I AM worthy!" "I AM supposed to get what I want!"
Michael Beckwith writes eloquently about his childhood realization that the boy his family saw was not the Michael he knew himself to be. "At that moment," Michael writes, "I consciously shut down my cosmic connection and began conforming myself to labels that boxed me into being someone that everyone would be comfortable around."
Our circumstances are individual and unique, but the results are often similar: We come to view ourselves the way others see us rather than Who We Really Are. We learn to live with disappointment. We acquiesce to being OK without the money, the health, the relationships we desire. We're even tempted to stop desiring altogether if only it will stop the pain. But it never feels right to do without, to settle for less, to give up on our dreams. It just never feels right.
There's a battle going on within us when we harbor limiting beliefs. On the one hand, we KNOW we came here to create what we desire. We KNOW we're supposed to have desires and the Universe is supposed to fulfill those desires. On the other hand, we've become convinced we can't really have what we want. Not really. Oh, maybe we think we can have some of what we want - but only if we work very hard and if we're very "good" or very lucky.
This battle continues to rage every day of our lives until we root out the limiting beliefs that keep us from living what we came here knowing - that we CAN have what we want, that physical life experience is set up to inspire desire, that we're co-creating with the Universe to fulfill our desires. Of course, the Universe IS fulfilling our desires. It's just that we can't access the fulfillment of those desires until we ALLOW it in, until we BELIEVE we can, until we let go of "I can't" and re-connect with what our True Self knows for sure - "YES, I CAN!" "I get to choose!"
We know this - no matter how much we try to stuff it down with food or numb it with drugs or run away from it with distractions. It's still there, calling to us. "I really CAN have it all!" "I AM free!"
Until we release and replace limiting beliefs, they continue to undermine every thought, every choice, every decision we make. Limiting beliefs block the manifestation of our desires. Limiting beliefs block our natural state of Well-Being. As I assist my clients to shine a light on their limiting beliefs, they are able to break the chains and take back their power, their freedom, and their joy: "It IS OK to live my own life!" "I DO deserve the good things in life!" It IS OK to have money!
Once we release a negative, limiting belief, the positive, empowering "YES, I CAN!" knowing steps up quite naturally to replace it. Then, everything shifts. We click back into Who We Really Are and who we came here to be and life becomes a dance - the way we knew it could be.
We live in a Universe of abundance, limited only by our beliefs. When we change our underlying beliefs, everything changes. When we replace negative, limiting beliefs with joyful, empowering beliefs, we release resistance to our natural state of Well-Being. When we do this, the battle is over and we're re-connected with Who We Really Are. When we release limiting beliefs, we re-align with Source and are moved to passionately declare: "I AM magnificent!" "I CAN have what I want!" "YES, I CAN!"
kate@goldstarcoaching.com
The Gandhi Rap - be the change u want to see
Presentation on Gandhi's Life with Gandhi rap sung by MC Yogi
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Healing Prayer for the Gulf
Dr. Masaru Emoto is the scientist from Japan who has done vast research about the characteristics of water. Among other things, his research revealed that water physically responds to emotions. Right now many people are understandably angry when they consider the Gulf oil spill. Yet we may be of greater assistance to our planet and its life forms if we sincerely, powerfully and humbly pray the prayer that Dr Emoto has proposed. (The conclusion of the prayer is based on the Hawaiian healing practice called ho'oponopono as taught by Dr. Haleakala Hew Len.)
I send the energy of love and gratitude
to the water and all the living creatures
in the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings.
To the whales, dolphins, pelicans, fish, shellfish,
plankton, coral, algae, and all living creatures . . .
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
I send the energy of love and gratitude
to the water and all the living creatures
in the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings.
To the whales, dolphins, pelicans, fish, shellfish,
plankton, coral, algae, and all living creatures . . .
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
The Space on the Page
While visiting Japan, I was surfing some television channels and I came upon an American baseball game. There are lots of Japanese baseball players in the U.S. major leagues now, and the Japanese are very proud of them, so they broadcast the U.S. games there. Instead of airing the games in their entirety, however, they replay recent broadcasts, edited down to the highlights. So the show jumps from the stolen base in the first inning to the home run in the fourth, to the manager's fight with the umpire in the sixth, to the Japanese player's hit in the eighth, and so on. All in all, a two-and-a-half-hour game is condensed to about 20 minutes.
While it was interesting to see all the cool plays, I found watching the compacted version far less enjoyable than viewing an entire baseball game. Somehow the innings where nothing happens make the action-packed innings more meaningful and exciting. There is something about contrast that accentuates experience.
The game of life is the same way. It is not supposed to be action packed and exciting every minute. The lulls and quiet spaces enhance the peaks and crescendos. The downs accentuate the ups, and the setbacks make the triumphs more rewarding. Hunger makes food taste better when you receive it, missing others helps you appreciate them when you see them next, and foreplay makes an orgasm worth waiting for. The system is pretty clever.
I learned a similar lesson when I submitted an ad to a graphic artist. He told me there were too many words on the page. "The space on the page is as important as the text and pictures," he explained. "It's all about balance."
The next time nothing seems to be happening or something you want does not show up immediately, do not fret. The big game is far more satisfying than the condensed version.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
While it was interesting to see all the cool plays, I found watching the compacted version far less enjoyable than viewing an entire baseball game. Somehow the innings where nothing happens make the action-packed innings more meaningful and exciting. There is something about contrast that accentuates experience.
The game of life is the same way. It is not supposed to be action packed and exciting every minute. The lulls and quiet spaces enhance the peaks and crescendos. The downs accentuate the ups, and the setbacks make the triumphs more rewarding. Hunger makes food taste better when you receive it, missing others helps you appreciate them when you see them next, and foreplay makes an orgasm worth waiting for. The system is pretty clever.
I learned a similar lesson when I submitted an ad to a graphic artist. He told me there were too many words on the page. "The space on the page is as important as the text and pictures," he explained. "It's all about balance."
The next time nothing seems to be happening or something you want does not show up immediately, do not fret. The big game is far more satisfying than the condensed version.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
Which Box Will You Check?
When the defining moment comes, either you define the moment or the moment defines you.
―From the movie Tin Cup
In her delightful book, Let Go of the Shore, musician Karen Drucker describes a pivotal moment when she was about to sign up for a subscription to a trade magazine. At that time Karen was just starting her career and she did not have a lot of money. On the subscription page of the magazine she found two different forms of subscription: One for "Regular Subscriber" and another discounted rate for "Starving Artist." Karen was tempted to check the "Starving Artist" box, but she realized that if she claimed the identity of "Starving Artist" she would affirm that definition of herself, and that is who she would become. So she decided to take a leap of faith and pay for the regular-rate subscription as an affirmation that she could afford it.
The next day Karen received a number of checks in the mail and several invitations for music engagements. Her affirmation of herself as an abundant being, she maintains, drew to her the material abundance.
Every time we think or speak about ourselves or anyone, we are affirming who we or they are. So take care to choose the adjectives and labels you place upon yourself and others, for those descriptions will come true. Never speak of yourself as less than you would like to be, and afford others the same courtesy and empowerment.
Every choice you make reflects who you believe you are. Make choices that reflect and honor the best that you are and the best that you deserve, and your statements will become self-fulfilling prophecies.
How might you describe yourself in ways that
honor your magnificence and expand your good?
Affirm:
I accept prosperity by making choices as one who is abundant.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
―From the movie Tin Cup
In her delightful book, Let Go of the Shore, musician Karen Drucker describes a pivotal moment when she was about to sign up for a subscription to a trade magazine. At that time Karen was just starting her career and she did not have a lot of money. On the subscription page of the magazine she found two different forms of subscription: One for "Regular Subscriber" and another discounted rate for "Starving Artist." Karen was tempted to check the "Starving Artist" box, but she realized that if she claimed the identity of "Starving Artist" she would affirm that definition of herself, and that is who she would become. So she decided to take a leap of faith and pay for the regular-rate subscription as an affirmation that she could afford it.
The next day Karen received a number of checks in the mail and several invitations for music engagements. Her affirmation of herself as an abundant being, she maintains, drew to her the material abundance.
Every time we think or speak about ourselves or anyone, we are affirming who we or they are. So take care to choose the adjectives and labels you place upon yourself and others, for those descriptions will come true. Never speak of yourself as less than you would like to be, and afford others the same courtesy and empowerment.
Every choice you make reflects who you believe you are. Make choices that reflect and honor the best that you are and the best that you deserve, and your statements will become self-fulfilling prophecies.
How might you describe yourself in ways that
honor your magnificence and expand your good?
Affirm:
I accept prosperity by making choices as one who is abundant.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
When WE change, does our BRAIN change as well?
Drop 24: When WE change, does our BRAIN change as well?
Or … does our brain change before we change? Or … do they occur concurrently?
You are either pondering these three questions or you may be wondering … does it matter?
To know the answer requires our gaining new knowledge. Einstein said it best “"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." If we already knew the answer, we wouldn’t have the question! Of course!
When a question arises … any question … consider that the answer is created also in that moment … but on a higher level of awareness. This supports the Law of Polarity or opposites, which says for every question, there must be an answer; for every up … always a down, and so on. So we begin to think, we read, we ask others … all in an effort to not only understand the question, but to gain access to the answer.
Gain access … what does that mean? Is there a doorway that leads us up to the answers (or ideas that spawn the answers)? Is there a lock and key we must have in our possession to get those answers? Access to higher awareness is your gift when you are thirsty for new knowledge. It’s like a plant being thirsty for water and nutrients. Give it plain water only and it lives certainly; add to it nutrients, and it flourishes. We are supposed to be flourishing. While we don’t have petals, we do have conscious awareness. We must feed it to gain the keys to the kingdom.
The answer to the 3 questions … is YES. With nothing less than sheer abundance of any and all things – and with your perfect Faith in that lawful process – we change first, last and with our Brain.
The mere process of looking for the answer moves us higher on the ladder of awareness. Awareness is an understanding of the patterns and processes of our thinking and the ability to discard or ignore thoughts in the present moment that do not move us toward our purpose or make us happy. Why do that? Because we only hold one conscious thought in our mind at a time, we want to save that space for rich ideas that are always flowing from form, then through form (us), then back into form (idea, belief, action, results).
Bruce Lipton in the Biology of Belief explains in detail how our thoughts trigger cell sensors which cause proteins to change shape, thereby causing movement (vibration). Happy thoughts – high vibration; sad thoughts – low vibration, with matching results. When we duplicate the happy thoughts they become our habits. Same is so with the opposite, of course.
Leslie Flowers - Drops of Awareness
For more information contact leslie@pathsofchange.com.
Or … does our brain change before we change? Or … do they occur concurrently?
You are either pondering these three questions or you may be wondering … does it matter?
To know the answer requires our gaining new knowledge. Einstein said it best “"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." If we already knew the answer, we wouldn’t have the question! Of course!
When a question arises … any question … consider that the answer is created also in that moment … but on a higher level of awareness. This supports the Law of Polarity or opposites, which says for every question, there must be an answer; for every up … always a down, and so on. So we begin to think, we read, we ask others … all in an effort to not only understand the question, but to gain access to the answer.
Gain access … what does that mean? Is there a doorway that leads us up to the answers (or ideas that spawn the answers)? Is there a lock and key we must have in our possession to get those answers? Access to higher awareness is your gift when you are thirsty for new knowledge. It’s like a plant being thirsty for water and nutrients. Give it plain water only and it lives certainly; add to it nutrients, and it flourishes. We are supposed to be flourishing. While we don’t have petals, we do have conscious awareness. We must feed it to gain the keys to the kingdom.
The answer to the 3 questions … is YES. With nothing less than sheer abundance of any and all things – and with your perfect Faith in that lawful process – we change first, last and with our Brain.
The mere process of looking for the answer moves us higher on the ladder of awareness. Awareness is an understanding of the patterns and processes of our thinking and the ability to discard or ignore thoughts in the present moment that do not move us toward our purpose or make us happy. Why do that? Because we only hold one conscious thought in our mind at a time, we want to save that space for rich ideas that are always flowing from form, then through form (us), then back into form (idea, belief, action, results).
Bruce Lipton in the Biology of Belief explains in detail how our thoughts trigger cell sensors which cause proteins to change shape, thereby causing movement (vibration). Happy thoughts – high vibration; sad thoughts – low vibration, with matching results. When we duplicate the happy thoughts they become our habits. Same is so with the opposite, of course.
Leslie Flowers - Drops of Awareness
For more information contact leslie@pathsofchange.com.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
To thine own self be true
Shakespeare said that many years ago. Being true to yourself actually is the first step to doing anything for others. You can only give out what you have so fill up on love, joy, self respect. When you are aware of your own needs and meet those within yourself you then have that to share with others in your life.
Often people deal with burn out from doing too much and spreading their energy too thin. We live in a very fast paced world and it’s easy to just do too much and not take care of you. You are important. As a mother your patience, wisdom and understanding are dependent upon your taking care of yourself and your emotional, physical and spiritual needs.
A long bath with a good book, sitting in the back yard watching the birds, going for a long and relaxing walk are all wonderful ways to connect yourself to balance.
Buy yourself a vase full of flowers and delight in their color, texture and scent. Love yourself well.. I say that to each person I meet and for a very good reason. You will have more to share with others when you are being good to yourself.
Making sure you get food that satisfies the body, mind and spirit, rest that restores physical and mental energy, down time to restore the soul; all these fill you up with energy and the more full you are the more you have to give and the more you enjoy your life experience.
The reason so many are creating experiences they don’t enjoy is they are just plain tired, worn out, drained and that gives way to frustration. Frustration creates more to feel that way about.
Being good to yourself is the fastest way to create beauty in your life and guarantees you have plenty of love, respect and kindness to share with others.
How do you feed your soul?
Donna DeVane
http://secretdesigncreationsblog.com/
Often people deal with burn out from doing too much and spreading their energy too thin. We live in a very fast paced world and it’s easy to just do too much and not take care of you. You are important. As a mother your patience, wisdom and understanding are dependent upon your taking care of yourself and your emotional, physical and spiritual needs.
A long bath with a good book, sitting in the back yard watching the birds, going for a long and relaxing walk are all wonderful ways to connect yourself to balance.
Buy yourself a vase full of flowers and delight in their color, texture and scent. Love yourself well.. I say that to each person I meet and for a very good reason. You will have more to share with others when you are being good to yourself.
Making sure you get food that satisfies the body, mind and spirit, rest that restores physical and mental energy, down time to restore the soul; all these fill you up with energy and the more full you are the more you have to give and the more you enjoy your life experience.
The reason so many are creating experiences they don’t enjoy is they are just plain tired, worn out, drained and that gives way to frustration. Frustration creates more to feel that way about.
Being good to yourself is the fastest way to create beauty in your life and guarantees you have plenty of love, respect and kindness to share with others.
How do you feed your soul?
Donna DeVane
http://secretdesigncreationsblog.com/
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Heraclitus - Ancient Philosopher, Ancient Twitterer!
Heraclitus - Ancient Philosopher, Ancient Twitterer!
By chance I came across an old college textbook on my bookshelf the other day, and have been greatly rewarded by becoming reacquainted with it. It is a book on the earliest philosophers in the Western tradition, known as the 'Presocratics' ('Presocratic' sounds very intimidating, but it really just means 'the guys who were hanging around before Socrates').
Although the Presocratics are very important, and most of them wrote important, influential books, almost none of their writings have survived today. All we have are fragments of their writings that were preserved as quotes in the books of later writers. Kind of like really, really ancient tweets! While it is disappointing to have lost so much of their work, what has survived pretty accessible for ancient philosophy. In fact, you could the entire Presocratic works in a single sitting!
In my opinion, the greatest Presocratic was an Ephesian named Heraclitus. Although a lot of his fragments are hard to follow (to be fair, they are fragments!), many of them are amazingly well-observed. It's even more amazing when you realise he wrote them 2,500 years ago!!
Heraclitus was most famous for his statement that 'you cannot step into the same river twice.' He believed that constant change, flux, and conflict are an integral part to the universe, and often used fire as a metaphor in his sayings. Although he can come across as a bit grumpy, you will find that upon reflection Heraclitus is describing an active, dynamic world where wisdom is more valuable than riches, and available to those who seek it. I find this exhilarating!
Much learning does not teach understanding.
To be temperate is the greatest virtue. Wisdom consists in speaking and acting the truth, giving heed to the nature of things.
Unless you expect the unexpected you will never find truth, for it is hard to discover and hard to attain.
You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters and yet others go ever flowing on.
It is in changing that things find repose.
You could not discover the limits of soul, even if you traveled by every path in order to do so; such is the depth of its meaning.
Soul has its own inner law of growth.
To extinguish excessive pride is more needful than to extinguish a fire.
Dogs bark at a person they do not know.
Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony.
Donkeys would prefer hay to gold.
To God all things are beautiful, good, and right; people, on the other hand, deem some things right and others wrong.
The way up and the way down are one and the same.
In the circumference of the circle the beginning and the end are common.
The hidden harmony is better than the obvious.
People do not understand how that which is at variance with itself agrees with itself. There is a harmony in the bending back, as in the cases of the bow and the lyre.
Even sleepers are workers and collaborators in what goes on in the universe.
All things come in their due season.
So, what do you think of Heraclitus? Let me know!
Posted by Gus Moonfoot
http://www.gusmoonfoot.com/
By chance I came across an old college textbook on my bookshelf the other day, and have been greatly rewarded by becoming reacquainted with it. It is a book on the earliest philosophers in the Western tradition, known as the 'Presocratics' ('Presocratic' sounds very intimidating, but it really just means 'the guys who were hanging around before Socrates').
Although the Presocratics are very important, and most of them wrote important, influential books, almost none of their writings have survived today. All we have are fragments of their writings that were preserved as quotes in the books of later writers. Kind of like really, really ancient tweets! While it is disappointing to have lost so much of their work, what has survived pretty accessible for ancient philosophy. In fact, you could the entire Presocratic works in a single sitting!
In my opinion, the greatest Presocratic was an Ephesian named Heraclitus. Although a lot of his fragments are hard to follow (to be fair, they are fragments!), many of them are amazingly well-observed. It's even more amazing when you realise he wrote them 2,500 years ago!!
Heraclitus was most famous for his statement that 'you cannot step into the same river twice.' He believed that constant change, flux, and conflict are an integral part to the universe, and often used fire as a metaphor in his sayings. Although he can come across as a bit grumpy, you will find that upon reflection Heraclitus is describing an active, dynamic world where wisdom is more valuable than riches, and available to those who seek it. I find this exhilarating!
Much learning does not teach understanding.
To be temperate is the greatest virtue. Wisdom consists in speaking and acting the truth, giving heed to the nature of things.
Unless you expect the unexpected you will never find truth, for it is hard to discover and hard to attain.
You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters and yet others go ever flowing on.
It is in changing that things find repose.
You could not discover the limits of soul, even if you traveled by every path in order to do so; such is the depth of its meaning.
Soul has its own inner law of growth.
To extinguish excessive pride is more needful than to extinguish a fire.
Dogs bark at a person they do not know.
Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony.
Donkeys would prefer hay to gold.
To God all things are beautiful, good, and right; people, on the other hand, deem some things right and others wrong.
The way up and the way down are one and the same.
In the circumference of the circle the beginning and the end are common.
The hidden harmony is better than the obvious.
People do not understand how that which is at variance with itself agrees with itself. There is a harmony in the bending back, as in the cases of the bow and the lyre.
Even sleepers are workers and collaborators in what goes on in the universe.
All things come in their due season.
So, what do you think of Heraclitus? Let me know!
Posted by Gus Moonfoot
http://www.gusmoonfoot.com/
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Big Twelve of Life that Fate Brings You
Quotes for the Week:
"Live not as though there were a thousand years ahead of you. Fate is at your elbow; make yourself good while life and power are still yours."
Marcus Aurelius
“Destiny is, I think, nothing but a series of psychic knots that we tie with our fear...at some moment you must stop life and look into it. And as you go on dipping and rising in your inner Ganges, you undo the knots.”
Raja Rao The Serpent and the Rope
<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<::<:::>><<:::>><<:::>>
The Big Twelve of Life that Fate Brings You
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010
A quote stopped me in my tracks this week causing me to pause and reflect. Gregory David Roberts, author of the novel Shantaram, said,
“Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised and we can never know which one is which until we’ve loved them, left them or fought them.”
Shantaram is the author’s first book, an autobiographical novel about an Australian who escapes from prison and goes to Bombay, India where he becomes involved in the Indian Mafia of organized crime. Roberts is a philosopher and poet who writes from his heart while describing one of the most descriptively brutal and most loving books I’ve read. As a fugitive, the hero founds a free medical clinic in the cardboard shack slums of Bombay where he lives and falls in love with a mysterious woman. He’s always ready for a fight to the death and becomes involved in severe beatings, drugs, money laundering and passport smuggling of the black market. The beautiful generosity and loving connections of the Indian people living in poverty who open their hearts to friends and family are described along with the intense sights, smells and beauty of Mother India and its mix of many nationalities of people. It is a brutal, bloody book not for the faint of heart nor for the depressed, which tells of betrayal, damages of war and then the poetry of redemption, of love and forgiveness.
So back to the Robert’s quote, which is a doozy. Ponder on it and the twelve things that destiny, fate or your choices have brought to you in your life. Who are your three great teachers? Who are your three best friends? And your three enemies and three great loves? Stop and write these down before you read the rest of this.
Three great teachers:
Three good friends:
Three enemies:
Three great loves:
I would add the three greatest experiences that changed the way you think about and how you conduct your life.
And add a mistake or two that changed the course of your direction and what you learned.
Don’t be concerned if you can’t come up with the required number of three or if you have more than three for each category. The number isn’t important. Thinking about those who have had the biggest input to your psychological and spiritual development is the task here.
As I’ve had a quite complicated life, I had to divide my loves into three Heartbreaker loves and three Holy loves. The Heartbreakers were those people with whom I expended much mental and physical energy who gave me much pain along with the necessary life lessons I needed to learn to clear crucial karma. The three Holy loves are those people who are constant and true who gave me validation of me as a person and also joy.
When I asked the inner question of my Higher Self regarding my enemies, I was surprised by the answers of Self-Doubt, Neediness and Fear. Like the old comic strip character Pogo said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” My enemies have been internal not external and in the end, only shortcomings to be addressed.
And while you are at it, stop and reflect on those people with whom you have had positive input into their life. Who have you impacted so that their life was changed for the better? Have you give back as much as has been given to you? Can’t think of anyone? There is still time for you to reach out and make someone else’s world a better place. Play it forward.
Now back to you. Your fate is there waiting in the wings brought on mostly by your thoughts, unresolved psychological issues and the choices you make. Why unresolved issues? The great Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung said, “The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made consciousness, it happens outside, as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner contradictions, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn in opposite haves.” What you don’t work out hits you smack dab in the face when you least expect it.
Ah yes, the opportunity to grow waits there and what is not worked out comes around again and again until you get it. Really get it. The evolutionary impulse towards growth is there pointing you towards integration. We call it the soul’s journey home.
Here’s another Roberts quote from the book:
“The cloak of the past is cut from patches of feeling, and rebus threads. Most of the time, the best we can do is wrap it around ourselves for comfort or drag it behind us as we struggle to go on. But everything has its cause and its meaning. Every life, every love, every action and feeling and thought has its reason and significance: its beginning, and the part it plays in the end. Sometimes, we do see. We see the past so clearly, and read the legend of its parts with such acuity, that every stitch of time reveals its purpose, and a kind of message is enfolded in it. Nothing in any life, no matter how well or poorly lived is wiser than failure or clearer than sorrow. And in the tiny, precious wisdom that they give to us, even those dread and hatred enemies, suffering and failure, have their reason and their right to be.”
Look to your failures and forgive yourself. Challenge your fears and dismiss the irrational ones. Most of them are illusions anyway. Learn from your mistakes. Thank those people, living or dead, who shaped and developed your psyche and hopeful outlook on the world. As you feel gratitude for those good influences given generously to you, reach out and engage in life and those current people around you. Celebrate those who truly love you and love them deeply in return. Go forward in your adventure toward your highest destiny.
Roberts ends his story with these words:
“…every human will has the power to transform its fate. I’d always thought that fate was unchangeable: fixed for every one of us at birth, and as constant as the circuit of the stars. But I suddenly realized that life is stranger and more beautiful than that. The truth is that, no matter what kind of game you find yourself in, no matter how good or bad the luck, you can change your life completely with a single thought or a single act of love….With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. With longing: the pure ineffable yearning to be saved. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. God help us. God forgive us. We live on.”
Peace and joy,
Lynne
"Live not as though there were a thousand years ahead of you. Fate is at your elbow; make yourself good while life and power are still yours."
Marcus Aurelius
“Destiny is, I think, nothing but a series of psychic knots that we tie with our fear...at some moment you must stop life and look into it. And as you go on dipping and rising in your inner Ganges, you undo the knots.”
Raja Rao The Serpent and the Rope
<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<::<:::>><<:::>><<:::>>
The Big Twelve of Life that Fate Brings You
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010
A quote stopped me in my tracks this week causing me to pause and reflect. Gregory David Roberts, author of the novel Shantaram, said,
“Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised and we can never know which one is which until we’ve loved them, left them or fought them.”
Shantaram is the author’s first book, an autobiographical novel about an Australian who escapes from prison and goes to Bombay, India where he becomes involved in the Indian Mafia of organized crime. Roberts is a philosopher and poet who writes from his heart while describing one of the most descriptively brutal and most loving books I’ve read. As a fugitive, the hero founds a free medical clinic in the cardboard shack slums of Bombay where he lives and falls in love with a mysterious woman. He’s always ready for a fight to the death and becomes involved in severe beatings, drugs, money laundering and passport smuggling of the black market. The beautiful generosity and loving connections of the Indian people living in poverty who open their hearts to friends and family are described along with the intense sights, smells and beauty of Mother India and its mix of many nationalities of people. It is a brutal, bloody book not for the faint of heart nor for the depressed, which tells of betrayal, damages of war and then the poetry of redemption, of love and forgiveness.
So back to the Robert’s quote, which is a doozy. Ponder on it and the twelve things that destiny, fate or your choices have brought to you in your life. Who are your three great teachers? Who are your three best friends? And your three enemies and three great loves? Stop and write these down before you read the rest of this.
Three great teachers:
Three good friends:
Three enemies:
Three great loves:
I would add the three greatest experiences that changed the way you think about and how you conduct your life.
And add a mistake or two that changed the course of your direction and what you learned.
Don’t be concerned if you can’t come up with the required number of three or if you have more than three for each category. The number isn’t important. Thinking about those who have had the biggest input to your psychological and spiritual development is the task here.
As I’ve had a quite complicated life, I had to divide my loves into three Heartbreaker loves and three Holy loves. The Heartbreakers were those people with whom I expended much mental and physical energy who gave me much pain along with the necessary life lessons I needed to learn to clear crucial karma. The three Holy loves are those people who are constant and true who gave me validation of me as a person and also joy.
When I asked the inner question of my Higher Self regarding my enemies, I was surprised by the answers of Self-Doubt, Neediness and Fear. Like the old comic strip character Pogo said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” My enemies have been internal not external and in the end, only shortcomings to be addressed.
And while you are at it, stop and reflect on those people with whom you have had positive input into their life. Who have you impacted so that their life was changed for the better? Have you give back as much as has been given to you? Can’t think of anyone? There is still time for you to reach out and make someone else’s world a better place. Play it forward.
Now back to you. Your fate is there waiting in the wings brought on mostly by your thoughts, unresolved psychological issues and the choices you make. Why unresolved issues? The great Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung said, “The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made consciousness, it happens outside, as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner contradictions, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn in opposite haves.” What you don’t work out hits you smack dab in the face when you least expect it.
Ah yes, the opportunity to grow waits there and what is not worked out comes around again and again until you get it. Really get it. The evolutionary impulse towards growth is there pointing you towards integration. We call it the soul’s journey home.
Here’s another Roberts quote from the book:
“The cloak of the past is cut from patches of feeling, and rebus threads. Most of the time, the best we can do is wrap it around ourselves for comfort or drag it behind us as we struggle to go on. But everything has its cause and its meaning. Every life, every love, every action and feeling and thought has its reason and significance: its beginning, and the part it plays in the end. Sometimes, we do see. We see the past so clearly, and read the legend of its parts with such acuity, that every stitch of time reveals its purpose, and a kind of message is enfolded in it. Nothing in any life, no matter how well or poorly lived is wiser than failure or clearer than sorrow. And in the tiny, precious wisdom that they give to us, even those dread and hatred enemies, suffering and failure, have their reason and their right to be.”
Look to your failures and forgive yourself. Challenge your fears and dismiss the irrational ones. Most of them are illusions anyway. Learn from your mistakes. Thank those people, living or dead, who shaped and developed your psyche and hopeful outlook on the world. As you feel gratitude for those good influences given generously to you, reach out and engage in life and those current people around you. Celebrate those who truly love you and love them deeply in return. Go forward in your adventure toward your highest destiny.
Roberts ends his story with these words:
“…every human will has the power to transform its fate. I’d always thought that fate was unchangeable: fixed for every one of us at birth, and as constant as the circuit of the stars. But I suddenly realized that life is stranger and more beautiful than that. The truth is that, no matter what kind of game you find yourself in, no matter how good or bad the luck, you can change your life completely with a single thought or a single act of love….With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. With longing: the pure ineffable yearning to be saved. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. God help us. God forgive us. We live on.”
Peace and joy,
Lynne
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Giving up the Miserable Practice of Needing to be Perfect and Expecting Others to Be
Giving up the Miserable Practice of Needing
to be Perfect and Expecting Others to Be
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010
Expecting yourself or others to be perfect is an unfortunate way of thinking that is absolutely crazy making! Perfectionists have unrealistic expectations of themselves or others. Putting these unrealistic expectations on others creates frustration, anger and sometimes depression if you turn them back on yourself.
Perfectionistic thinking often manifests as judgments and “shoulds.” When you hear yourself making a "should judgment," you can tell yourself, “That’s only my ego nagging me with a should!” Modify your unyielding, unrealistic expectations for others—those absolutist shoulds, absolutes, have tos, ought tos and musts and make them preferences and wishes instead. These ways of viewing the world definitely breaks into your peace of mind and happiness.
Often perfectionistic thinking is passed down as a family generational theme. Shame of not measuring up to the unrealistic standards of the parents is passed from generation to generation. Critical parental behavior produces shame-prone children who then criticize themselves and others. When a child’s essential needs for stability, attention, affection, approval and validation were shamed, any time later in life when a valid need comes up, he might drop back into these old feelings.
The child who lives with constant criticism learns to hide his vulnerable feelings and his failures when the parents have high expectations of behavior. He or she feels rejected if the parent humiliates and punishes him for crying. The child learns to reject all aspects of himself including the wonderful ones. The rejected child believes that he must be really bad or his parents would accept and love him. He can stop trying to succeed as he might fail and he can’t bear the uncomfortable feelings that accompany failure. To protect his already fragile self-esteem, he procrastinates or gives up before he starts.
Failure is a necessary part of learning. Learning to cope with failure is a positive social skill that is necessary for success! How we cope with being thwarted on a goal defines whether we become a loser or a learner. The moment of failure presents a Y in the road: in one direction blaming either self or others or the other, problem solving. Once when I goofed up in a big way my boss said, “Lynne, what do we do about this?” Failure presents the opportunity for learning, for change and increased self-esteem.
Perfectionistic thoughts are obsessive lies of the ego that do you in. They can be stopped dead in their tracks through self-talk and The Emotional Freedom Technique. Reprogram your mind to KNOW that errors are for learning! Stop and ponder these quotes from wise minds that reflect on the value of learning through failure and giving up old, perfectionistic beliefs:
“Failure is not the worst thing in the world; the very worst is not to try.”
Anonymous
“One of the reasons people stop learning is that they become less and less willing to risk failure.”
John W. Gardner
“Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.”
Edward Eggleston
“The way to succeed is to double your error rate.”
Thomas J. Watson
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
Truman Capote
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing.”
Denis Waitley
“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.”
Robert Schuller
“Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.”
Henry Van Dyke
“I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
Anne Lamott
“A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect.”
Chinese Proverb
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.”
Gandhi
“I am perfectly imperfect and I allow this perfect imperfection in myself. I do strive for a standard of excellence in my work. That is perfectly right for me.”
Lynne Namka
“We are completely perfect, but we need a minor adjustment.”
Suzuki Roshi
“Your life will have a kind of perfection, although you will not be a saint. The perfection will consist in this: You will be very weak and you will make many mistakes; you will be awkward, for you will be poor in spirit and hunger and thirst for justice. You will not be perfect, but you will love. This is the gate and the way. There is nothing greater than love. There is nothing more true that love; nothing more real. So let us hand our lives over to love and seal the bond of love.”
Eberhard Arnold
Peace and joy,
Lynne
“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person. “
David M. Burns
[Lynne's website:] http://www.AngriesOut.com
to be Perfect and Expecting Others to Be
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010
Expecting yourself or others to be perfect is an unfortunate way of thinking that is absolutely crazy making! Perfectionists have unrealistic expectations of themselves or others. Putting these unrealistic expectations on others creates frustration, anger and sometimes depression if you turn them back on yourself.
Perfectionistic thinking often manifests as judgments and “shoulds.” When you hear yourself making a "should judgment," you can tell yourself, “That’s only my ego nagging me with a should!” Modify your unyielding, unrealistic expectations for others—those absolutist shoulds, absolutes, have tos, ought tos and musts and make them preferences and wishes instead. These ways of viewing the world definitely breaks into your peace of mind and happiness.
Often perfectionistic thinking is passed down as a family generational theme. Shame of not measuring up to the unrealistic standards of the parents is passed from generation to generation. Critical parental behavior produces shame-prone children who then criticize themselves and others. When a child’s essential needs for stability, attention, affection, approval and validation were shamed, any time later in life when a valid need comes up, he might drop back into these old feelings.
The child who lives with constant criticism learns to hide his vulnerable feelings and his failures when the parents have high expectations of behavior. He or she feels rejected if the parent humiliates and punishes him for crying. The child learns to reject all aspects of himself including the wonderful ones. The rejected child believes that he must be really bad or his parents would accept and love him. He can stop trying to succeed as he might fail and he can’t bear the uncomfortable feelings that accompany failure. To protect his already fragile self-esteem, he procrastinates or gives up before he starts.
Failure is a necessary part of learning. Learning to cope with failure is a positive social skill that is necessary for success! How we cope with being thwarted on a goal defines whether we become a loser or a learner. The moment of failure presents a Y in the road: in one direction blaming either self or others or the other, problem solving. Once when I goofed up in a big way my boss said, “Lynne, what do we do about this?” Failure presents the opportunity for learning, for change and increased self-esteem.
Perfectionistic thoughts are obsessive lies of the ego that do you in. They can be stopped dead in their tracks through self-talk and The Emotional Freedom Technique. Reprogram your mind to KNOW that errors are for learning! Stop and ponder these quotes from wise minds that reflect on the value of learning through failure and giving up old, perfectionistic beliefs:
“Failure is not the worst thing in the world; the very worst is not to try.”
Anonymous
“One of the reasons people stop learning is that they become less and less willing to risk failure.”
John W. Gardner
“Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.”
Edward Eggleston
“The way to succeed is to double your error rate.”
Thomas J. Watson
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
Truman Capote
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing.”
Denis Waitley
“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.”
Robert Schuller
“Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.”
Henry Van Dyke
“I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
Anne Lamott
“A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect.”
Chinese Proverb
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.”
Gandhi
“I am perfectly imperfect and I allow this perfect imperfection in myself. I do strive for a standard of excellence in my work. That is perfectly right for me.”
Lynne Namka
“We are completely perfect, but we need a minor adjustment.”
Suzuki Roshi
“Your life will have a kind of perfection, although you will not be a saint. The perfection will consist in this: You will be very weak and you will make many mistakes; you will be awkward, for you will be poor in spirit and hunger and thirst for justice. You will not be perfect, but you will love. This is the gate and the way. There is nothing greater than love. There is nothing more true that love; nothing more real. So let us hand our lives over to love and seal the bond of love.”
Eberhard Arnold
Peace and joy,
Lynne
“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person. “
David M. Burns
[Lynne's website:] http://www.AngriesOut.com
The 100/0 Principle
An Excerpt from
The 100/0 Principle
by Al Ritter
What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.
Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.
The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.
Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!
Principle Paradox
This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.
The 100/0 Principle
by Al Ritter
What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.
Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.
The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.
Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!
Principle Paradox
This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.
The Heart of the Matter
The Heart of the Matter
One day a few years ago I was driving and listening to the radio. Sometimes I listen to music when driving, but more often I check out the talk radio stations to see if there's anything of interest.
Well, on that day I tuned into the middle of a talk radio show and the guest was a physician who shared something I found absolutely incredible. As the days went by, the topic kept returning to my mind and I couldn't help ponder the fascinating information until I had to do a bit of my own research.
The radio guest was a doctor who specialized in heart transplants and research. He explained the discoveries of the research and offered specific real life examples to support it.
Heart to Heart
In brief, the researchers had followed the lives of many heart transplant patients. And even though the patients did not know who their donors were, they incredibly took on the personality traits and preferences of the donors. The findings were most often based on accounts from family members of the patients.
Here is just one example that was shared...
A man received a heart from a young black man who died. After the transplant, the patient suddenly developed a strong passion for classical music. His family couldn't understand what had happened as the man's life began to revolve completely around classical music. When asked his opinion about the kind of music young black men enjoy, the patient said he had always assumed it was rap music. But what the patient never knew was that the young man who gave him the heart was returning from his violin lessons when he was hit by a car and died. The donor's life had completely revolved around classical music.
According to the details of the call, it was obvious that this was a common occurrence. The doctor went into much detail about their findings.
I spent some time assimilating the information and waiting for insights of my own about this. So many thoughts were going through my mind...
It would appear that our heart is not just our bodily organ. I have learned and teach that the subconscious mind has a perfect memory of every cell in our body and can heal us. It is also a perfect record of everything we have ever heard, said, felt and experienced. This is common knowledge in psychological and metaphysical circles. In fact, in metaphysical terms, the subconscious mind is known as the "heart."
But the thought that the actual physical organ of our body - the heart - is also a living blueprint of our personalities that can transcend the body - is a striking revelation.
And then I thought...perhaps every living cell of our bodies contains our personalities. Could this mean that any transplanted organ would carry the personality traits of the donor to the recipient? Or is our physical heart truly the center of our most passionate, beloved desires, spiritual ideals and aspirations that it will carry with it wherever it goes, even if it leaves its original body?
And what if the donor is not a positive loving person with high aspirations - perhaps a criminal donor? Would those personality traits carry over to the recipient patient? Would the patient's own personality traits be able to buffer any negative potential?
And of course, we can even conjure up a bit of Twilight Zone. If the donor's passion for a kind of music can transfer to the recipient, could the donor's passion for a particular person be transferred - if the patient were to meet that particular person? Yikes...my imagination was going wild. Except....except...
Heartfelt
I did catch a movie on television shortly afterwards about a female heart transplant patient who had an irresistible attraction to the young daughter of a man whose wife had died. She was accused of stalking the young girl but could not stay away from her. Long story short, it turned out that the patient had received the heart of the father's wife - and therefore the young girl's mother. Oh well, it was only a movie. Except...except...
As I researched the subject, I found someone who had read a book by a woman who was one of the first heart and lung transplant recipients. The patient was a classical dancer, but after the transplant surgery, she immediately started craving beer and hotdogs and driving fast cars. She later discovered that her donor was a teenage boy who died in a motorcycle accident. She eventually was able to meet his family and everything that she now craved were things that were important to him. And this was a TRUE story!
A little more research and I found the book. Claire Sylvia's story was made into a feature film for television in 2002 titled Heart of a Stranger and starred Jane Seymour. (You can google Claire Sylvia to find more details)
This paragraph from the book jacket says it all:
This is a story that must be told and heard...a fascinating example of how cellular memory can outlive physical death. -- Deepok Chopra
You Gotta Have Heart
Now I ask you to think about this...
If a physical heart can travel to another human body and carry with it the passions, preferences, and desires of its former owner, what is the impact that your own heart has on you? What kind of influence does your heart have on your life experience, your circumstances and the manifestation of your desires?
In studying prosperity laws, we learn that our words and our thoughts create dominant ideas in our mind that become our circumstances. But if your words and thoughts are infused with feeling - specifically the feeling of the end result - you possess the greatest manifesting tool in the universe, indeed.
When we put real feeling into something we are doing, isn't it said that we "put our heart into it?"
We can say all the words and affirmations we want...we can even fool ourselves - and others - with our words and actions. But ultimately the greatest impact in our lives and in the results we gain from applying mental and spiritual laws will come from the "whisperings" of our heart. That's where the truth of the matter lies. It's in the whisperings of our heart - and the seat of our subconscious.
You can't fool your heart. It knows the truth about you.
But to me the most amazing thing in the world is that we can have a change of heart (of course I don't mean a transplant but that's equally amazing!)
What's in your heart right now? Could you use a change of heart?
Take heart
~ Marilyn
Visit the Feel Free to Prosper Website
www.feelfreetoprosper.com
Contact Marilyn
marilyn@feelfreetoprosper.com
310.475.0211
© Copyright 2010 Marilyn Jenett, Feel Free to Prosper
All rights reserved
Marilyn Jenett, an accomplished business owner in the corporate arena, founded the Feel Free to Prosper program to mentor and teach others to become aligned with Universal laws and accept their right to prosper. For more information, visit
http://www.FeelFreetoProsper.com.
Marilyn's book, Feel Free to Prosper: Two Weeks to Unexpected Income With the Simplest Prosperity Laws Available, is her first release.
Feel Free to Prosper, 1933 Manning Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90025, USA
One day a few years ago I was driving and listening to the radio. Sometimes I listen to music when driving, but more often I check out the talk radio stations to see if there's anything of interest.
Well, on that day I tuned into the middle of a talk radio show and the guest was a physician who shared something I found absolutely incredible. As the days went by, the topic kept returning to my mind and I couldn't help ponder the fascinating information until I had to do a bit of my own research.
The radio guest was a doctor who specialized in heart transplants and research. He explained the discoveries of the research and offered specific real life examples to support it.
Heart to Heart
In brief, the researchers had followed the lives of many heart transplant patients. And even though the patients did not know who their donors were, they incredibly took on the personality traits and preferences of the donors. The findings were most often based on accounts from family members of the patients.
Here is just one example that was shared...
A man received a heart from a young black man who died. After the transplant, the patient suddenly developed a strong passion for classical music. His family couldn't understand what had happened as the man's life began to revolve completely around classical music. When asked his opinion about the kind of music young black men enjoy, the patient said he had always assumed it was rap music. But what the patient never knew was that the young man who gave him the heart was returning from his violin lessons when he was hit by a car and died. The donor's life had completely revolved around classical music.
According to the details of the call, it was obvious that this was a common occurrence. The doctor went into much detail about their findings.
I spent some time assimilating the information and waiting for insights of my own about this. So many thoughts were going through my mind...
It would appear that our heart is not just our bodily organ. I have learned and teach that the subconscious mind has a perfect memory of every cell in our body and can heal us. It is also a perfect record of everything we have ever heard, said, felt and experienced. This is common knowledge in psychological and metaphysical circles. In fact, in metaphysical terms, the subconscious mind is known as the "heart."
But the thought that the actual physical organ of our body - the heart - is also a living blueprint of our personalities that can transcend the body - is a striking revelation.
And then I thought...perhaps every living cell of our bodies contains our personalities. Could this mean that any transplanted organ would carry the personality traits of the donor to the recipient? Or is our physical heart truly the center of our most passionate, beloved desires, spiritual ideals and aspirations that it will carry with it wherever it goes, even if it leaves its original body?
And what if the donor is not a positive loving person with high aspirations - perhaps a criminal donor? Would those personality traits carry over to the recipient patient? Would the patient's own personality traits be able to buffer any negative potential?
And of course, we can even conjure up a bit of Twilight Zone. If the donor's passion for a kind of music can transfer to the recipient, could the donor's passion for a particular person be transferred - if the patient were to meet that particular person? Yikes...my imagination was going wild. Except....except...
Heartfelt
I did catch a movie on television shortly afterwards about a female heart transplant patient who had an irresistible attraction to the young daughter of a man whose wife had died. She was accused of stalking the young girl but could not stay away from her. Long story short, it turned out that the patient had received the heart of the father's wife - and therefore the young girl's mother. Oh well, it was only a movie. Except...except...
As I researched the subject, I found someone who had read a book by a woman who was one of the first heart and lung transplant recipients. The patient was a classical dancer, but after the transplant surgery, she immediately started craving beer and hotdogs and driving fast cars. She later discovered that her donor was a teenage boy who died in a motorcycle accident. She eventually was able to meet his family and everything that she now craved were things that were important to him. And this was a TRUE story!
A little more research and I found the book. Claire Sylvia's story was made into a feature film for television in 2002 titled Heart of a Stranger and starred Jane Seymour. (You can google Claire Sylvia to find more details)
This paragraph from the book jacket says it all:
This is a story that must be told and heard...a fascinating example of how cellular memory can outlive physical death. -- Deepok Chopra
You Gotta Have Heart
Now I ask you to think about this...
If a physical heart can travel to another human body and carry with it the passions, preferences, and desires of its former owner, what is the impact that your own heart has on you? What kind of influence does your heart have on your life experience, your circumstances and the manifestation of your desires?
In studying prosperity laws, we learn that our words and our thoughts create dominant ideas in our mind that become our circumstances. But if your words and thoughts are infused with feeling - specifically the feeling of the end result - you possess the greatest manifesting tool in the universe, indeed.
When we put real feeling into something we are doing, isn't it said that we "put our heart into it?"
We can say all the words and affirmations we want...we can even fool ourselves - and others - with our words and actions. But ultimately the greatest impact in our lives and in the results we gain from applying mental and spiritual laws will come from the "whisperings" of our heart. That's where the truth of the matter lies. It's in the whisperings of our heart - and the seat of our subconscious.
You can't fool your heart. It knows the truth about you.
But to me the most amazing thing in the world is that we can have a change of heart (of course I don't mean a transplant but that's equally amazing!)
What's in your heart right now? Could you use a change of heart?
Take heart
~ Marilyn
Visit the Feel Free to Prosper Website
www.feelfreetoprosper.com
Contact Marilyn
marilyn@feelfreetoprosper.com
310.475.0211
© Copyright 2010 Marilyn Jenett, Feel Free to Prosper
All rights reserved
Marilyn Jenett, an accomplished business owner in the corporate arena, founded the Feel Free to Prosper program to mentor and teach others to become aligned with Universal laws and accept their right to prosper. For more information, visit
http://www.FeelFreetoProsper.com.
Marilyn's book, Feel Free to Prosper: Two Weeks to Unexpected Income With the Simplest Prosperity Laws Available, is her first release.
Feel Free to Prosper, 1933 Manning Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90025, USA
Monday, May 24, 2010
Love money happiness - what everyone wants
You want to experience love, have money and be happy. You are not alone. These are desires common to mankind. We yearn to be loved, to feel special to someone, to have money to live well and to be happy. It’s normal to want these things. The question many people ask is how to find love, get enough money and be happy even until the love and money show up.
The easiest way to find love is to discover self love. Realize all your gifts and talents. This isn’t saying to be a snob, but to be aware of how caring you are. To show yourself respect and love that you would like to experience with another person. There was a study done a few years ago about what men found the most sexy about a woman. The winning answer was “a woman who knows she’s sexy”. The same is true for what women find attractive. How you feel about yourself is a signal you give out to other people. They respond to that self worth signal you send out. Sit down and be honest about what you think about yourself. What areas can you improve on? How you feel about yourself will result in who you attract into your life.
Money is another main topic of conversation. Everyone wants more of it. Money is energy, the energy of abundance that is all around. There is only abundance. There’s plenty of everything. You are the stream of consciousness that the energy of abundance moves through. Using your thoughts, feelings, knowing combined with action opens the windows and doors of your life allowing the easy flow of more money. Remember, abundance is the natural state of life itself, always seeking to expand and experience more of itself. By placing your attention on abundance of what you do want rather than paying attention to what you don’t want.. well.. you get the point. Where your energy goes.. creation soon follows. So pay attention, notice abundance. Be aware of how much abundance there is. Look around you right now. See the abundance of everything you could ever desire. Now realize that you are the channel that everything flows through.
Happiness is another of the main three desires of all mankind. We enjoy feeling good. We like to feel connected to life and at peace with our surroundings. Taking note of all the beauty around you is one way to increase your happiness level. Picking conversations that uplift and inspire is another. Movies, books, and music are also wonderful mood elevators. Going for a long walk to commune with nature or sitting quietly watching the birds and listening to their songs will bring up your level of happiness and connection.
Often there are community activities that you can join to meet others and learn a new skill or hobby. Check your communities leisure center, they often have classes in yoga, martial arts, painting, dance, etc. These are a great way to meet new people and fling open the door to opportunity. The more involved you are in your life the more possibilities you discover.
Be open to your life. Live it fully. Grab each day and dance through it. You are the only one who has the power to hold you back or move you forward.. What’s stopping you? Ready Set GO!!!
Donna DeVane
Secret Design Creations
http://secretdesigncreationsblog.com/
The easiest way to find love is to discover self love. Realize all your gifts and talents. This isn’t saying to be a snob, but to be aware of how caring you are. To show yourself respect and love that you would like to experience with another person. There was a study done a few years ago about what men found the most sexy about a woman. The winning answer was “a woman who knows she’s sexy”. The same is true for what women find attractive. How you feel about yourself is a signal you give out to other people. They respond to that self worth signal you send out. Sit down and be honest about what you think about yourself. What areas can you improve on? How you feel about yourself will result in who you attract into your life.
Money is another main topic of conversation. Everyone wants more of it. Money is energy, the energy of abundance that is all around. There is only abundance. There’s plenty of everything. You are the stream of consciousness that the energy of abundance moves through. Using your thoughts, feelings, knowing combined with action opens the windows and doors of your life allowing the easy flow of more money. Remember, abundance is the natural state of life itself, always seeking to expand and experience more of itself. By placing your attention on abundance of what you do want rather than paying attention to what you don’t want.. well.. you get the point. Where your energy goes.. creation soon follows. So pay attention, notice abundance. Be aware of how much abundance there is. Look around you right now. See the abundance of everything you could ever desire. Now realize that you are the channel that everything flows through.
Happiness is another of the main three desires of all mankind. We enjoy feeling good. We like to feel connected to life and at peace with our surroundings. Taking note of all the beauty around you is one way to increase your happiness level. Picking conversations that uplift and inspire is another. Movies, books, and music are also wonderful mood elevators. Going for a long walk to commune with nature or sitting quietly watching the birds and listening to their songs will bring up your level of happiness and connection.
Often there are community activities that you can join to meet others and learn a new skill or hobby. Check your communities leisure center, they often have classes in yoga, martial arts, painting, dance, etc. These are a great way to meet new people and fling open the door to opportunity. The more involved you are in your life the more possibilities you discover.
Be open to your life. Live it fully. Grab each day and dance through it. You are the only one who has the power to hold you back or move you forward.. What’s stopping you? Ready Set GO!!!
Donna DeVane
Secret Design Creations
http://secretdesigncreationsblog.com/
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Why Do Pencils Have Erasers? Why Do Computers Have Delete and Backspace Keys?
Why Do Pencils Have Erasers?
Why Do Computers Have Delete and Backspace Keys?
One of my favorite anonymous quotes on perfectionism is “No one is perfect; that’s why pencils have erasers.” A recent review of the literature on perfectionism showed two distinct kinds. Normal perfectionism is a “sense of pleasure from painstaking effort and desire to excel while feeling free to be as less precise as the situation demands.” There is a standard of excellence without the neurotic excessive worrying.
Neurotic perfectionists spend a lot of time spinning their wheels and scolding themselves or others! They fall apart and sink into low self-esteem if they make a mistake. They hold the erroneous belief that perfectionism will automatically bring rewards but it only generates worry and grief.
Neurotic perfectionists usually have a higher list of shoulds that they try to impose on their partners and children. Perfectionism is learned behavior; people who had critical, perfectionistic parents learn to be judgmental themselves. They can become angry when their own needs are not met.
Neurotic perfectionistic beliefs have the highest of expectations that cannot be gained. People who are critical and controlling of others because of their unusually high standards have high anxiety and irritability within. They try to keep their nervous feelings down by trying to control the environment and the people in it. They harbor faulty beliefs that certain people are bad, stupid, evil, or do things wrong and it is their moral duty to correct them. They try to impose their values on others in order to keep their own nervous feelings at bay.
Critical statements start with the word “You” followed by an accusation and the insistence that someone else is doing something wrong. They are blame statements. They are all a form of the need for control which insists that “I get to tell you what to do.” Loss of connection and intimacy is always a by-product of the shoulds and demands of perfectionism.
My Critical Part has been Out Lately
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor,” said Anne Lamott. Here is an exercise to help you look at your patterns of judgment and criticism. Write out the answers to help identify your beliefs that make you a controlling person.
One area that I criticize my partner/friend/child is:
When I feel that my needs are not met in this area, the unhealthy ways that I cope are:
What can I do to release my irrational idea that my happiness depends on you changing?
I am willing to observe and examine my behaviors that I’m upset with in you such as:
I pay attention. I interrupt my critical thoughts and words by: (Observation, introspection and meditation, Thought stoppage, The Emotional Freedom Technique, Deep breathing, etc.)
I perceive that others have criticized me for:
Some of the criticism is just. I am willing to acknowledge that I:
I am willing to observe and examine these behaviors that are upsetting to others:
When you come to the fork in the road after an upsetting incident, you can go to blaming or to problem solving. So look to your beliefs and how they make you miserable or contented. The need to control another person’s actions can be understood, analyzed and channeled into higher-level responses which promote healthy interactions for all involved. The next time that you have an unrealistic expectation of someone and a subsequent angry outburst, ask yourself two questions. Am I just acting out of perfectionistic habit needs? Did my action celebrate life or harm life?
Remember, if you reach for the stars and beat yourself up for not getting them, you will end up clutching at air and being pretty darned depressed!
Challenge your negative thoughts and impractical and unworkable demands. Anytime you do something to calm yourself instead of running the turmoil created by your critical nature ego, you are doing affect regulation. Anytime you tell yourself something helpful, you are doing positive self-talk and Thought Stoppage, thus increasing self-esteem. Yeah! You are on the road to positive thinking and living. Author Wayne Dyer says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Working your mind works. It only works when you work it!
Peace and joy,
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010
<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<::<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:
Ideas taken from the research article, The destructiveness of perfectionism. Implications for the treatment of depression, by Prof. Sidney J. Blatt and The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-defeat (article) by David D. Burns.
My book, Good Bye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings: EFT for Kids of All Ages has a companion book. Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children: Fifty Fun Activities for Parents, Teachers and Therapists gives lesson plans plus EFT tapping statements. Go to http://members.aol.com/AngriesOut/newbooks.htm#ouchies to order the set of both books at a discounted rate.
Why Do Computers Have Delete and Backspace Keys?
One of my favorite anonymous quotes on perfectionism is “No one is perfect; that’s why pencils have erasers.” A recent review of the literature on perfectionism showed two distinct kinds. Normal perfectionism is a “sense of pleasure from painstaking effort and desire to excel while feeling free to be as less precise as the situation demands.” There is a standard of excellence without the neurotic excessive worrying.
Neurotic perfectionists spend a lot of time spinning their wheels and scolding themselves or others! They fall apart and sink into low self-esteem if they make a mistake. They hold the erroneous belief that perfectionism will automatically bring rewards but it only generates worry and grief.
Neurotic perfectionists usually have a higher list of shoulds that they try to impose on their partners and children. Perfectionism is learned behavior; people who had critical, perfectionistic parents learn to be judgmental themselves. They can become angry when their own needs are not met.
Neurotic perfectionistic beliefs have the highest of expectations that cannot be gained. People who are critical and controlling of others because of their unusually high standards have high anxiety and irritability within. They try to keep their nervous feelings down by trying to control the environment and the people in it. They harbor faulty beliefs that certain people are bad, stupid, evil, or do things wrong and it is their moral duty to correct them. They try to impose their values on others in order to keep their own nervous feelings at bay.
Critical statements start with the word “You” followed by an accusation and the insistence that someone else is doing something wrong. They are blame statements. They are all a form of the need for control which insists that “I get to tell you what to do.” Loss of connection and intimacy is always a by-product of the shoulds and demands of perfectionism.
My Critical Part has been Out Lately
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor,” said Anne Lamott. Here is an exercise to help you look at your patterns of judgment and criticism. Write out the answers to help identify your beliefs that make you a controlling person.
One area that I criticize my partner/friend/child is:
When I feel that my needs are not met in this area, the unhealthy ways that I cope are:
What can I do to release my irrational idea that my happiness depends on you changing?
I am willing to observe and examine my behaviors that I’m upset with in you such as:
I pay attention. I interrupt my critical thoughts and words by: (Observation, introspection and meditation, Thought stoppage, The Emotional Freedom Technique, Deep breathing, etc.)
I perceive that others have criticized me for:
Some of the criticism is just. I am willing to acknowledge that I:
I am willing to observe and examine these behaviors that are upsetting to others:
When you come to the fork in the road after an upsetting incident, you can go to blaming or to problem solving. So look to your beliefs and how they make you miserable or contented. The need to control another person’s actions can be understood, analyzed and channeled into higher-level responses which promote healthy interactions for all involved. The next time that you have an unrealistic expectation of someone and a subsequent angry outburst, ask yourself two questions. Am I just acting out of perfectionistic habit needs? Did my action celebrate life or harm life?
Remember, if you reach for the stars and beat yourself up for not getting them, you will end up clutching at air and being pretty darned depressed!
Challenge your negative thoughts and impractical and unworkable demands. Anytime you do something to calm yourself instead of running the turmoil created by your critical nature ego, you are doing affect regulation. Anytime you tell yourself something helpful, you are doing positive self-talk and Thought Stoppage, thus increasing self-esteem. Yeah! You are on the road to positive thinking and living. Author Wayne Dyer says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Working your mind works. It only works when you work it!
Peace and joy,
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2010
<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<::<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:
Ideas taken from the research article, The destructiveness of perfectionism. Implications for the treatment of depression, by Prof. Sidney J. Blatt and The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-defeat (article) by David D. Burns.
My book, Good Bye Ouchies and Grouchies, Hello Happy Feelings: EFT for Kids of All Ages has a companion book. Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children: Fifty Fun Activities for Parents, Teachers and Therapists gives lesson plans plus EFT tapping statements. Go to http://members.aol.com/AngriesOut/newbooks.htm#ouchies to order the set of both books at a discounted rate.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Develop Your Mental Strength - SAY NO!
Develop Your Mental Strength - SAY NO!
Gus Moonfoot
Mental strength is a quality that most people vaguely aspire to. Not many people think about what it is clearly, though. When we do think about it, we mistakenly think it is just 'will-power.' Mental strength, however, is so much more than forgoing a second chocolate brownie. Mental strength is what enables you to not just to make the difficult choices in life, but to see where the difficult choices lie in the first place. It is a quality that without which we go through life as helpless as a leaf upon a fast-moving stream. You don't want to be a helpless leaf, do you?
How do you develop mental strength? The good news is that we are surrounded by opportunities to do this twenty-four hours a day. Our modern, free society means that not only are we free to make our own decisions, but everyone else is free to bombard us with advertising, marketing, and social pressures as well. The techniques to influence our decisions are so sophisticated now we are often not even aware it is happening. Even a film shown without commercials will be full of subtle product placements that are nearly impossible to register. We are manipulated into spending, eating and consuming more than we want or need. The result, unsurprisingly, is that we are left mentally (as well as perhaps physically) weak and exhausted.
If you are normal, and you spend, eat and consume more than you want or need, here is the first step to recovery: abstain! Not from everything, of course. Start small. Choose one thing. It doesn't really matter what it is. For one person it might mean giving up sugar. For someone else it might mean only having the one slice of cake. Find something appropriate for you, something you would normally indulge in, and then resist. You will find this easiest, and perhaps derive the most benefit, if you chose something that you don't really enjoy much in the first place. You know, that sitcom that you watch that isn't funny, or that fried food you eat that really isn't very tasty. Our lives are full of luxuries we don't actually enjoy, but that we consume only because we are used to consuming them. These are the easiest, and most important things to stop right away!
How is abstaining going to increase your mental strength? Remember, this is more than just an exercise in will-power. This is you making a small, but important, stand against the constant barrage of instructions your brain receives to consume. Choosing to drink Coke over Pepsi is not an act of individualism - it is obeying one marketing message instead of another. Choosing to drink neither is you proving to yourself that you retain the ability to make your own decisions.
Here are some dos and don'ts: Don't abstain to lose weight! Do abstain to prove to yourself that you chose what and when to eat. Don't abstain to make a statement to the world about the excesses of capitalism, consumerism, materialism, etc. You can have those beliefs, but that's not what this is about. This is about making a statement to yourself for yourself. And while I'm on the subject, DON'T TELL ANYONE!! Once you tell someone else, whether you mean to or not, you involve them. You look for their approval, or feel their disapproval. You want them to support you or feel disappointed when they don't. Going down this road will dilute all of the benefit you could receive. Don't think of this as being secretive. This is just a private matter for you alone.
Here's what you will gain: a quiet satisfaction that in at least one small part of your life you are in total control. If developed further, you will find yourself in a much stronger position the next time life throws you one of its inevitable curve balls. Eventually you should be able to enter a dialogue with yourself (okay, technically this is a monologue, but you know what I mean) where you are actively choosing which influences, from which sources, you want to allow into your thoughts. Does that sound like a strange idea? It is not. It's just you being yourself, instead of what other people want you to be.
So go on! Try it! Give something up. In five minutes you can probably write a list of five things in your life you do out of habit, or because everyone else does, that you really don't enjoy that much. Chose one, and even if you only give it up for a day, you will feel more alive than you will have from a lifetime of needless consumption. What have you got to lose?
Gus Moonfoot
Posted from Gus Moonfoot's blog
Gus Moonfoot
Mental strength is a quality that most people vaguely aspire to. Not many people think about what it is clearly, though. When we do think about it, we mistakenly think it is just 'will-power.' Mental strength, however, is so much more than forgoing a second chocolate brownie. Mental strength is what enables you to not just to make the difficult choices in life, but to see where the difficult choices lie in the first place. It is a quality that without which we go through life as helpless as a leaf upon a fast-moving stream. You don't want to be a helpless leaf, do you?
How do you develop mental strength? The good news is that we are surrounded by opportunities to do this twenty-four hours a day. Our modern, free society means that not only are we free to make our own decisions, but everyone else is free to bombard us with advertising, marketing, and social pressures as well. The techniques to influence our decisions are so sophisticated now we are often not even aware it is happening. Even a film shown without commercials will be full of subtle product placements that are nearly impossible to register. We are manipulated into spending, eating and consuming more than we want or need. The result, unsurprisingly, is that we are left mentally (as well as perhaps physically) weak and exhausted.
If you are normal, and you spend, eat and consume more than you want or need, here is the first step to recovery: abstain! Not from everything, of course. Start small. Choose one thing. It doesn't really matter what it is. For one person it might mean giving up sugar. For someone else it might mean only having the one slice of cake. Find something appropriate for you, something you would normally indulge in, and then resist. You will find this easiest, and perhaps derive the most benefit, if you chose something that you don't really enjoy much in the first place. You know, that sitcom that you watch that isn't funny, or that fried food you eat that really isn't very tasty. Our lives are full of luxuries we don't actually enjoy, but that we consume only because we are used to consuming them. These are the easiest, and most important things to stop right away!
How is abstaining going to increase your mental strength? Remember, this is more than just an exercise in will-power. This is you making a small, but important, stand against the constant barrage of instructions your brain receives to consume. Choosing to drink Coke over Pepsi is not an act of individualism - it is obeying one marketing message instead of another. Choosing to drink neither is you proving to yourself that you retain the ability to make your own decisions.
Here are some dos and don'ts: Don't abstain to lose weight! Do abstain to prove to yourself that you chose what and when to eat. Don't abstain to make a statement to the world about the excesses of capitalism, consumerism, materialism, etc. You can have those beliefs, but that's not what this is about. This is about making a statement to yourself for yourself. And while I'm on the subject, DON'T TELL ANYONE!! Once you tell someone else, whether you mean to or not, you involve them. You look for their approval, or feel their disapproval. You want them to support you or feel disappointed when they don't. Going down this road will dilute all of the benefit you could receive. Don't think of this as being secretive. This is just a private matter for you alone.
Here's what you will gain: a quiet satisfaction that in at least one small part of your life you are in total control. If developed further, you will find yourself in a much stronger position the next time life throws you one of its inevitable curve balls. Eventually you should be able to enter a dialogue with yourself (okay, technically this is a monologue, but you know what I mean) where you are actively choosing which influences, from which sources, you want to allow into your thoughts. Does that sound like a strange idea? It is not. It's just you being yourself, instead of what other people want you to be.
So go on! Try it! Give something up. In five minutes you can probably write a list of five things in your life you do out of habit, or because everyone else does, that you really don't enjoy that much. Chose one, and even if you only give it up for a day, you will feel more alive than you will have from a lifetime of needless consumption. What have you got to lose?
Gus Moonfoot
Posted from Gus Moonfoot's blog
Friday, April 30, 2010
Women and Self Esteem
Women and Self Esteem
By Maggie Vlazny, MSW, LCSW
What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, chances are that you have a problem with self esteem. Why is that? Why do so many of us basically dislike ourselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves?
Before answering this question, we must first define self-esteem. Self esteem comes from the inside out. It means that a woman is not dependent upon anyone else to make her feel good about herself, because she already knows she's fine just the way she is. She is confident and aware of her strengths and abilities. She wants to share them with others.
This does not mean she is conceited. She is also aware of areas needing work and growth. But that's OK, because she knows she's not perfect, and she doesn't have to be. No one is. She understands that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Self-esteem is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy. Once achieved, it comes from the inside out. But it is assaulted or stunted from the outside in. A woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself because she has absorbed negative messages about women from the culture and/or relationships.
The reign of youth, beauty and thinness in our society dooms every woman to eventual failure. Womens magazines, starting with the teenage market, program them to focus all their efforts on their appearance. Many girls learn, by age 12, to drop formerly enjoyable activities in favor of the beauty treadmill leading to nowhere. They become fanatical about diets. They munch, like rabbits, on leaves without salad dressing, jog in ice storms, and swear they love it! Ads abound for cosmetic surgery, enticing us to "repair" our aging bodies, as if the natural process of aging were an accident or a disease. Yet with all this effort, they still never feel like they are good enough.
How can they? Magazine models are airbrushed to perfection, and anorexic. "Beautiful" movie stars are whipped into perfect shape by personal trainers, and use surgery to create an unnatural cultural ideal. But youth cannot last. It is not meant to. If women buy into this image of beauty, then the best an older woman can strive for is looking "good for her age" or worse yet, "well preserved". Mummies are well preserved. Mummies are also dead.
Abusive experiences join with cultural messages to assault female self esteem. Abuse is pervasive and cuts across all socioeconomic lines. It invariably sends the message that the victim is worthless. Many, many women have told me that verbal abuse has hurt them far more than any physical act. As one woman put it, "his words scarred my soul". Women whose abuse started as children have the most fragile sense of identity and self worth.
Poor self esteem often results in depression and anxiety. Physical health suffers as well. Many times, women with this problem don't go for regular checkups, exercise, or take personal days because they really don't think they're worth the time.
Relationships are impacted as well. Their needs are not met by their partner because they feel like they don't deserve to have them met, or are uncomfortable asking. Their relationships with children can suffer if they are unable to discipline effectively, set limits, or demand the respect they deserve. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from mother to daughter.The mother is modeling what a woman is. She is also modeling, for her sons, what a wife is.
In the workplace, women with low self-esteem tend to be self-deprecating, to minimize their accomplishments, or let others take credit for their work. They never move up. Finally, with friends, they are unable to say no. They end up doing favors they don't want to do, or have any time for. They end up going where they don't want to go, with people they don't want to go with! A woman with low self-esteem has no control over her life. But that can change. These women can get help and emotional healing.
It is critical to remember that no one deserves to be abused. If something bad has happened to you, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. The responsibility for the abuse lies with the person who chooses to hurt you. If you are presently being abused, you must put yours and your children safety first. If you think you are in danger, you can call your state domestic violence hotline number. NJ STATEWIDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1-800-572-7233.
You can choose your own identity. You can discard the popular cultural image and replace it with something real. As I read someplace once, "We are bound by our fate only as long as we accept the values that determine it."
Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself.
By Maggie Vlazny, MSW, LCSW
What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, chances are that you have a problem with self esteem. Why is that? Why do so many of us basically dislike ourselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves?
Before answering this question, we must first define self-esteem. Self esteem comes from the inside out. It means that a woman is not dependent upon anyone else to make her feel good about herself, because she already knows she's fine just the way she is. She is confident and aware of her strengths and abilities. She wants to share them with others.
This does not mean she is conceited. She is also aware of areas needing work and growth. But that's OK, because she knows she's not perfect, and she doesn't have to be. No one is. She understands that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Self-esteem is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy. Once achieved, it comes from the inside out. But it is assaulted or stunted from the outside in. A woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself because she has absorbed negative messages about women from the culture and/or relationships.
The reign of youth, beauty and thinness in our society dooms every woman to eventual failure. Womens magazines, starting with the teenage market, program them to focus all their efforts on their appearance. Many girls learn, by age 12, to drop formerly enjoyable activities in favor of the beauty treadmill leading to nowhere. They become fanatical about diets. They munch, like rabbits, on leaves without salad dressing, jog in ice storms, and swear they love it! Ads abound for cosmetic surgery, enticing us to "repair" our aging bodies, as if the natural process of aging were an accident or a disease. Yet with all this effort, they still never feel like they are good enough.
How can they? Magazine models are airbrushed to perfection, and anorexic. "Beautiful" movie stars are whipped into perfect shape by personal trainers, and use surgery to create an unnatural cultural ideal. But youth cannot last. It is not meant to. If women buy into this image of beauty, then the best an older woman can strive for is looking "good for her age" or worse yet, "well preserved". Mummies are well preserved. Mummies are also dead.
Abusive experiences join with cultural messages to assault female self esteem. Abuse is pervasive and cuts across all socioeconomic lines. It invariably sends the message that the victim is worthless. Many, many women have told me that verbal abuse has hurt them far more than any physical act. As one woman put it, "his words scarred my soul". Women whose abuse started as children have the most fragile sense of identity and self worth.
Poor self esteem often results in depression and anxiety. Physical health suffers as well. Many times, women with this problem don't go for regular checkups, exercise, or take personal days because they really don't think they're worth the time.
Relationships are impacted as well. Their needs are not met by their partner because they feel like they don't deserve to have them met, or are uncomfortable asking. Their relationships with children can suffer if they are unable to discipline effectively, set limits, or demand the respect they deserve. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from mother to daughter.The mother is modeling what a woman is. She is also modeling, for her sons, what a wife is.
In the workplace, women with low self-esteem tend to be self-deprecating, to minimize their accomplishments, or let others take credit for their work. They never move up. Finally, with friends, they are unable to say no. They end up doing favors they don't want to do, or have any time for. They end up going where they don't want to go, with people they don't want to go with! A woman with low self-esteem has no control over her life. But that can change. These women can get help and emotional healing.
It is critical to remember that no one deserves to be abused. If something bad has happened to you, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. The responsibility for the abuse lies with the person who chooses to hurt you. If you are presently being abused, you must put yours and your children safety first. If you think you are in danger, you can call your state domestic violence hotline number. NJ STATEWIDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1-800-572-7233.
You can choose your own identity. You can discard the popular cultural image and replace it with something real. As I read someplace once, "We are bound by our fate only as long as we accept the values that determine it."
Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself.
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