"Think what it would be like to go about your day with your mind filled
only with happy and loving thoughts. Everyone you meet has a smile and a
glow of happiness about him or her. There is no sickness, no hunger, no
conflict or lack, no time and no death. Peace has replaced fear
everywhere. This is our world when forgiveness has come and we are free
to love again." - The Miracle of Real Forgiveness by Tom Carpenter
The Forgiveness Movement
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
You are NOT your Ego! (From Righteousness to Compassion)
You are NOT your Ego! (From Righteousness to Compassion)
Hello Friends!
Has anyone noticed an intensification of emotion these days?
Like judgment, anger, joy, passion?
As the spiritual energies continue to increase upon our planet, the aspect of our humanness, our ego personality, is the part of ‘us’ that is taking the heat….
And for some of us, its gotten pretty hot lately!
Amidst the highs and exuberance, I’ve also found myself getting more pissed than usual; its taking a concerted effort at times to stop, breath, and come back to center.
It happened again this morning… I was reading a comment that someone posted on one of my Facebook threads last night, asking a question of why hasn’t the work I have done ended the dolphin hunt? I wasn’t sure if it was a sincere question or a bit sarcastic, but I took some a lot of time to give a thoughtful reply…
After I posted my reply, I found the same person had posted similar comments on other FB conversations… As I read them, the sarcasm was obvious… WTF? As I’m reading this and reacting in angry (I felt the sweat pouring from my armpits), a little window pops up and says this person just commented on my reply…
I clicked on the icon and sure enough, another sarcastic comment…on a thread of conversation with over 80 comments.. so his comments have gone into the emails of everyone…
By now my blood is in a boil and my mind is formulating a reply… (I can say it pretty straight!)
Enter another deep breath… enter compassion…
A lot of us are feeling triggered lately, and twice in the past month I’ve been too quick to give someone feedback about the inappropriateness of their actions. Let me get this straight, their actions were totally inappropriate, but my righteous reply only added fuel to the fire…
Knowing this, and remembering the regret of speaking while in reaction, I let the anger pass, I stop taking his attacks personal, and can then see that this man is obviously upset…
And from this place of compassion, I look up his email address and send him an email telling him I understand he’s upset and that a conversation with 80 comments is the wrong place to use sarcasm…
And then I see my righteousness in pointing out his sarcasm…
Let me be clear – I was totally entitled to call him on his sarcasm. Its just that it would probably have closed the door on any productive communication. So… did I want to be right, or did I want healing?
So I delete the comment about sarcasm… and just acknowledge that he is upset, and extend an invitation to talk…
It doesn’t matter his reply…. What matters is how I feel, and I feel filled with peace and compassion…
As the heat in the kitchen increases, it serves us to respond to our brothers and sisters with compassion.. I invite you to take the five breaths or ten minutes it takes to release your reactions to the triggers around you…
Every time we do, we bring more light into our bodies and our world…
Every single time we do, we strengthen the morphic field of Oneness that is growing in our collective awareness in leaps and bounds…
Namaste!
Joe
PS PS PS!!!
I have found that APPRECIATION is a valuable ally in shifting energy!
Everyday Ecstasy
email: joe@planetarypartners.com
Hello Friends!
Has anyone noticed an intensification of emotion these days?
Like judgment, anger, joy, passion?
As the spiritual energies continue to increase upon our planet, the aspect of our humanness, our ego personality, is the part of ‘us’ that is taking the heat….
And for some of us, its gotten pretty hot lately!
Amidst the highs and exuberance, I’ve also found myself getting more pissed than usual; its taking a concerted effort at times to stop, breath, and come back to center.
It happened again this morning… I was reading a comment that someone posted on one of my Facebook threads last night, asking a question of why hasn’t the work I have done ended the dolphin hunt? I wasn’t sure if it was a sincere question or a bit sarcastic, but I took some a lot of time to give a thoughtful reply…
After I posted my reply, I found the same person had posted similar comments on other FB conversations… As I read them, the sarcasm was obvious… WTF? As I’m reading this and reacting in angry (I felt the sweat pouring from my armpits), a little window pops up and says this person just commented on my reply…
I clicked on the icon and sure enough, another sarcastic comment…on a thread of conversation with over 80 comments.. so his comments have gone into the emails of everyone…
By now my blood is in a boil and my mind is formulating a reply… (I can say it pretty straight!)
Enter another deep breath… enter compassion…
A lot of us are feeling triggered lately, and twice in the past month I’ve been too quick to give someone feedback about the inappropriateness of their actions. Let me get this straight, their actions were totally inappropriate, but my righteous reply only added fuel to the fire…
Knowing this, and remembering the regret of speaking while in reaction, I let the anger pass, I stop taking his attacks personal, and can then see that this man is obviously upset…
And from this place of compassion, I look up his email address and send him an email telling him I understand he’s upset and that a conversation with 80 comments is the wrong place to use sarcasm…
And then I see my righteousness in pointing out his sarcasm…
Let me be clear – I was totally entitled to call him on his sarcasm. Its just that it would probably have closed the door on any productive communication. So… did I want to be right, or did I want healing?
So I delete the comment about sarcasm… and just acknowledge that he is upset, and extend an invitation to talk…
It doesn’t matter his reply…. What matters is how I feel, and I feel filled with peace and compassion…
As the heat in the kitchen increases, it serves us to respond to our brothers and sisters with compassion.. I invite you to take the five breaths or ten minutes it takes to release your reactions to the triggers around you…
Every time we do, we bring more light into our bodies and our world…
Every single time we do, we strengthen the morphic field of Oneness that is growing in our collective awareness in leaps and bounds…
Namaste!
Joe
PS PS PS!!!
I have found that APPRECIATION is a valuable ally in shifting energy!
Everyday Ecstasy
email: joe@planetarypartners.com
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Heart to Heart
Heart to Heart
Marilyn Jenett
In brief, the researchers had followed the lives of many heart transplant patients. And even though the patients did not know who their donors were, they incredibly took on the personality traits and preferences of the donors. The findings were most often based on accounts from family members of the patients.
Here is just one example that was shared...
A man received a heart from a young black man who died. After the transplant, the patient suddenly developed a strong passion for classical music. His family couldn't understand what had happened as the man's life began to revolve completely around classical music. When asked his opinion about the kind of music young black men enjoy, the patient said he had always assumed it was rap music. But what the patient never knew was that the young man who gave him the heart was returning from his violin lessons when he was hit by a car and died. The donor's life had completely revolved around classical music.
According to the details of the radio interview, it was obvious that this was a common occurrence. The doctor went into much detail about their findings.
I spent some time assimilating the information and waiting for insights of my own about this subject. So many thoughts were going through my mind...
It would appear that our heart is not just our bodily organ. I have learned and teach that the subconscious mind has a perfect memory of every cell in our body and can heal us. It is also a perfect record of everything we have ever heard, said, felt and experienced. This is common knowledge in psychological and metaphysical circles. In fact, in metaphysical terms, the subconscious mind is known as the "heart."
But the thought that the actual physical organ of our body - the heart - is also a living blueprint of our personalities that can transcend the body - is a striking revelation.
And then I thought...perhaps every living cell of our bodies contains our personalities. Could this mean that any transplanted organ would carry the personality traits of the donor to the recipient? Or is our physical heart truly the center of our most passionate, beloved desires, spiritual ideals and aspirations that it will carry with it wherever it goes, even if it leaves its original body?
And what if the donor is not a positive loving person with high aspirations - perhaps a criminal donor? Would those personality traits carry over to the recipient patient? Would the patient's own personality traits be able to buffer any negative potential?
And of course, we can even conjure up a bit of Twilight Zone. If the donor's passion for a kind of music can transfer to the recipient, could the donor's passion for a particular person be transferred - if the patient were to meet that particular person? Yikes...my imagination was going wild. Except....except...
Heartfelt
I did catch a movie on television shortly afterwards about a female heart transplant patient who had an irresistible attraction to the young daughter of a man whose wife had died. She was accused of stalking the young girl but could not stay away from her. Long story short, it turned out that the patient had received the heart of the father's wife - the young girl's mother. Oh well, it was only a movie. Except...except...
As I researched the subject, I found someone who had read a book by a woman who was one of the first heart and lung transplant recipients. The patient was a classical dancer, but after the transplant surgery, she immediately started craving beer and hot dogs and driving fast cars. She later discovered that her donor was a teenage boy who died in a motorcycle accident. She eventually was able to meet his family and everything that she now craved were things that were important to him. And this was a TRUE story!
A little more research and I found the book. Claire Sylvia's story was made into a feature film for television in 2002 titled Heart of a Stranger and starred Jane Seymour. (You can google Claire Sylvia to find more details)
This paragraph from the book jacket says it all:
This is a story that must be told and heard...a fascinating example of how cellular memory can outlive physical death. -- Deepok Chopra
You Gotta Have Heart
Now I ask you to think about this...
If a physical heart can travel to another human body and carry with it the passions, preferences, and desires of its former owner, what is the impact that your own heart has on you? What kind of influence does your heart have on your life experience, your circumstances and the manifestation of your desires?
In studying prosperity laws, we learn that our words and our thoughts create dominant ideas in our mind that become our circumstances. But if your words and thoughts are infused with feeling - specifically the feeling of the end result - you possess the greatest manifesting tool in the universe, indeed.
When we put real feeling into something we are doing, isn't it said that we "put our heart into it?"
We can say all the words and affirmations we want...we can even fool ourselves - and others - with our words and actions. But ultimately the greatest impact in our lives and in the results we gain from applying mental and spiritual laws will come from the "whisperings" of our heart. That's where the truth of the matter lies. It's in the whisperings of our heart - and the seat of our subconscious.
You can't fool your heart. It knows the truth about you.
But to me the most amazing thing in the world is that we can have a change of heart (of course I don't mean a transplant but that's equally amazing!)
What's in your heart right now? Could you use a change of heart?
Take heart
~ Marilyn
© Copyright 2010 Marilyn Jenett, Feel Free to Prosper
All rights reserved
Marilyn Jenett
In brief, the researchers had followed the lives of many heart transplant patients. And even though the patients did not know who their donors were, they incredibly took on the personality traits and preferences of the donors. The findings were most often based on accounts from family members of the patients.
Here is just one example that was shared...
A man received a heart from a young black man who died. After the transplant, the patient suddenly developed a strong passion for classical music. His family couldn't understand what had happened as the man's life began to revolve completely around classical music. When asked his opinion about the kind of music young black men enjoy, the patient said he had always assumed it was rap music. But what the patient never knew was that the young man who gave him the heart was returning from his violin lessons when he was hit by a car and died. The donor's life had completely revolved around classical music.
According to the details of the radio interview, it was obvious that this was a common occurrence. The doctor went into much detail about their findings.
I spent some time assimilating the information and waiting for insights of my own about this subject. So many thoughts were going through my mind...
It would appear that our heart is not just our bodily organ. I have learned and teach that the subconscious mind has a perfect memory of every cell in our body and can heal us. It is also a perfect record of everything we have ever heard, said, felt and experienced. This is common knowledge in psychological and metaphysical circles. In fact, in metaphysical terms, the subconscious mind is known as the "heart."
But the thought that the actual physical organ of our body - the heart - is also a living blueprint of our personalities that can transcend the body - is a striking revelation.
And then I thought...perhaps every living cell of our bodies contains our personalities. Could this mean that any transplanted organ would carry the personality traits of the donor to the recipient? Or is our physical heart truly the center of our most passionate, beloved desires, spiritual ideals and aspirations that it will carry with it wherever it goes, even if it leaves its original body?
And what if the donor is not a positive loving person with high aspirations - perhaps a criminal donor? Would those personality traits carry over to the recipient patient? Would the patient's own personality traits be able to buffer any negative potential?
And of course, we can even conjure up a bit of Twilight Zone. If the donor's passion for a kind of music can transfer to the recipient, could the donor's passion for a particular person be transferred - if the patient were to meet that particular person? Yikes...my imagination was going wild. Except....except...
Heartfelt
I did catch a movie on television shortly afterwards about a female heart transplant patient who had an irresistible attraction to the young daughter of a man whose wife had died. She was accused of stalking the young girl but could not stay away from her. Long story short, it turned out that the patient had received the heart of the father's wife - the young girl's mother. Oh well, it was only a movie. Except...except...
As I researched the subject, I found someone who had read a book by a woman who was one of the first heart and lung transplant recipients. The patient was a classical dancer, but after the transplant surgery, she immediately started craving beer and hot dogs and driving fast cars. She later discovered that her donor was a teenage boy who died in a motorcycle accident. She eventually was able to meet his family and everything that she now craved were things that were important to him. And this was a TRUE story!
A little more research and I found the book. Claire Sylvia's story was made into a feature film for television in 2002 titled Heart of a Stranger and starred Jane Seymour. (You can google Claire Sylvia to find more details)
This paragraph from the book jacket says it all:
This is a story that must be told and heard...a fascinating example of how cellular memory can outlive physical death. -- Deepok Chopra
You Gotta Have Heart
Now I ask you to think about this...
If a physical heart can travel to another human body and carry with it the passions, preferences, and desires of its former owner, what is the impact that your own heart has on you? What kind of influence does your heart have on your life experience, your circumstances and the manifestation of your desires?
In studying prosperity laws, we learn that our words and our thoughts create dominant ideas in our mind that become our circumstances. But if your words and thoughts are infused with feeling - specifically the feeling of the end result - you possess the greatest manifesting tool in the universe, indeed.
When we put real feeling into something we are doing, isn't it said that we "put our heart into it?"
We can say all the words and affirmations we want...we can even fool ourselves - and others - with our words and actions. But ultimately the greatest impact in our lives and in the results we gain from applying mental and spiritual laws will come from the "whisperings" of our heart. That's where the truth of the matter lies. It's in the whisperings of our heart - and the seat of our subconscious.
You can't fool your heart. It knows the truth about you.
But to me the most amazing thing in the world is that we can have a change of heart (of course I don't mean a transplant but that's equally amazing!)
What's in your heart right now? Could you use a change of heart?
Take heart
~ Marilyn
© Copyright 2010 Marilyn Jenett, Feel Free to Prosper
All rights reserved
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability has increased."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
An Inspirational Reminder…..
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice in your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee must begin with YOU, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you rnext fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideas of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”
You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things you take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: A full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can, to design the life you want to live.
[This is an abridged version of the poem.]
Peace and Joy,
Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
"Choice is focused intent. It triggers belief, attitude, feeling and decision-making. Choice is the keystone to creation and manifestation. Choice changes neural pathways. It can engage the unconscious to override the subconscious. Choice opens gateways to the future, to the possible and to your many possibilities."
Lazaris
Questions regarding the content of this newsletter, comments or written contributions can be directed to inspirationcontact@yahoo.com. Please remember that I cannot provide you with any advice of a personal nature. But help is out there somewhere! Do reach out and get a qualified professional to help you sort through your issues. Please check out my web site www.AngriesOut.com for ideas and numerous downloadable articles on a wide range of subjects. You can also click on the ‘Finding a Therapist’ link to take you to the section entitled, “Finding a Competent Therapist with Great Training.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
An Inspirational Reminder…..
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll © 1999
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice in your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee must begin with YOU, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you rnext fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideas of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”
You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things you take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: A full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can, to design the life you want to live.
[This is an abridged version of the poem.]
Peace and Joy,
Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
"Choice is focused intent. It triggers belief, attitude, feeling and decision-making. Choice is the keystone to creation and manifestation. Choice changes neural pathways. It can engage the unconscious to override the subconscious. Choice opens gateways to the future, to the possible and to your many possibilities."
Lazaris
Questions regarding the content of this newsletter, comments or written contributions can be directed to inspirationcontact@yahoo.com. Please remember that I cannot provide you with any advice of a personal nature. But help is out there somewhere! Do reach out and get a qualified professional to help you sort through your issues. Please check out my web site www.AngriesOut.com for ideas and numerous downloadable articles on a wide range of subjects. You can also click on the ‘Finding a Therapist’ link to take you to the section entitled, “Finding a Competent Therapist with Great Training.”
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Healing Prayer for the Gulf
Dr. Masaru Emoto is the scientist from Japan who has done vast research about the characteristics of water. Among other things, his research revealed that water physically responds to emotions. Right now many people are understandably angry when they consider the Gulf oil spill. Yet we may be of greater assistance to our planet and its life forms if we sincerely, powerfully and humbly pray the prayer that Dr Emoto has proposed. (The conclusion of the prayer is based on the Hawaiian healing practice called ho'oponopono as taught by Dr. Haleakala Hew Len.)
I send the energy of love and gratitude
to the water and all the living creatures
in the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings.
To the whales, dolphins, pelicans, fish, shellfish,
plankton, coral, algae, and all living creatures . . .
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
I send the energy of love and gratitude
to the water and all the living creatures
in the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings.
To the whales, dolphins, pelicans, fish, shellfish,
plankton, coral, algae, and all living creatures . . .
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Alan Cohen
http://www.alancohen.com
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
THE MAGIC OF JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS by Kate Corbin
THE MAGIC OF JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS
"Shower the people you love with love."
- James Taylor
As most of us have experienced, relationships can bring us our greatest joys as well as our deepest sorrows. Relationships are such an integral part of our lives that the quality of our relationships often determines the overall quality of our lives.
How, then, can we experience relationships that lift us up rather than drag us down? By exposing limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering beliefs, we can all experience the Magic of Joyful Relationships. To consciously create the happy, healthy relationships we desire, let's start by taking a look at:
WHAT DOES NOT CREATE JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS:
- Blaming and Complaining. The more we focus on the unwanted aspects of others, the more unwanted aspects we elicit from them.Ouch!
- Expecting Others to Make Us Happy. When our happiness or unhappiness is dependent on the behavior of others, we give away both our power and our freedom. :-(
- Trying to Change / Fix / Control Others. If we need others to change so that we can feel good, we are definitely looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
There's got to be a better way.
WHAT DOES CREATE JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS:
- Feel Good First. Being independently happy and determined to keep our own vibration high is the perfect platform for creating great relationships. As we know from Law of Attraction, feeling good IS the most important thing.
- Self-Love First. If we want others to love, value, and appreciate us, we must love, value, and appreciate ourselves first. Period.
- Source First. When we tend to our primary relationship with our Inner Being / Source / God, then all our other relationships will be harmonious.
- Think and Thank. As we think of things we appreciate about others and express that appreciation often, we deepen and sweeten our connection with them.
- Look for Positive Aspects. When we focus on the positive qualities of others, they will display more of their positive qualities, at least with us! :-) It helps to remember this: At their core, EVERYONE is Pure, Positive Energy.
- Tell a New Story. We can free ourselves from past hurts and painful memories by talking about relationships the way we want them to be. We can get unstuck by telling a new, improved story, such as: All my relationships are joyful!
Now that we've shined a light on the major factors behind relationship woes and relationship bliss, let's turn our attention to what Law of Attraction considers the key to manifesting wonderfully harmonious relationships:
DIRECTING OUR THOUGHTS
Although we have no real control over what others are doing, we have complete control over our own thoughts and, happily, that is all we need. Our thoughts determine who we attract into our lives and our thoughts determine how these people behave once they get there.
Good relationships are creations. As we direct our thoughts exclusively and consistently toward what we DO WANT in relationships, we begin consciously and deliberately creating the relationships of our dreams.
As we maintain a strong connection with Source, love ourselves and others, appreciate rather than judge, live our lives as we see fit and let others do the same, accept full responsibility for our own happiness, feel as good as we can in every moment, and direct the power of our thoughts toward the positive aspects of others, we are applying the Law of Attraction to create delightful, delicious relationships. When we do these things, we are sure to experience the Magic of Joyful Relationships.
Kate Corbin
"Shower the people you love with love."
- James Taylor
As most of us have experienced, relationships can bring us our greatest joys as well as our deepest sorrows. Relationships are such an integral part of our lives that the quality of our relationships often determines the overall quality of our lives.
How, then, can we experience relationships that lift us up rather than drag us down? By exposing limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering beliefs, we can all experience the Magic of Joyful Relationships. To consciously create the happy, healthy relationships we desire, let's start by taking a look at:
WHAT DOES NOT CREATE JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS:
- Blaming and Complaining. The more we focus on the unwanted aspects of others, the more unwanted aspects we elicit from them.Ouch!
- Expecting Others to Make Us Happy. When our happiness or unhappiness is dependent on the behavior of others, we give away both our power and our freedom. :-(
- Trying to Change / Fix / Control Others. If we need others to change so that we can feel good, we are definitely looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
There's got to be a better way.
WHAT DOES CREATE JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS:
- Feel Good First. Being independently happy and determined to keep our own vibration high is the perfect platform for creating great relationships. As we know from Law of Attraction, feeling good IS the most important thing.
- Self-Love First. If we want others to love, value, and appreciate us, we must love, value, and appreciate ourselves first. Period.
- Source First. When we tend to our primary relationship with our Inner Being / Source / God, then all our other relationships will be harmonious.
- Think and Thank. As we think of things we appreciate about others and express that appreciation often, we deepen and sweeten our connection with them.
- Look for Positive Aspects. When we focus on the positive qualities of others, they will display more of their positive qualities, at least with us! :-) It helps to remember this: At their core, EVERYONE is Pure, Positive Energy.
- Tell a New Story. We can free ourselves from past hurts and painful memories by talking about relationships the way we want them to be. We can get unstuck by telling a new, improved story, such as: All my relationships are joyful!
Now that we've shined a light on the major factors behind relationship woes and relationship bliss, let's turn our attention to what Law of Attraction considers the key to manifesting wonderfully harmonious relationships:
DIRECTING OUR THOUGHTS
Although we have no real control over what others are doing, we have complete control over our own thoughts and, happily, that is all we need. Our thoughts determine who we attract into our lives and our thoughts determine how these people behave once they get there.
Good relationships are creations. As we direct our thoughts exclusively and consistently toward what we DO WANT in relationships, we begin consciously and deliberately creating the relationships of our dreams.
As we maintain a strong connection with Source, love ourselves and others, appreciate rather than judge, live our lives as we see fit and let others do the same, accept full responsibility for our own happiness, feel as good as we can in every moment, and direct the power of our thoughts toward the positive aspects of others, we are applying the Law of Attraction to create delightful, delicious relationships. When we do these things, we are sure to experience the Magic of Joyful Relationships.
Kate Corbin
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Pasco couple learns secret of flower deliveries
Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009
Pasco couple learns secret of flower deliveries
By Pratik Joshi, Herald staff writer
Imagine getting flowers with a note to brighten your day, week after week, not knowing who sent them.
When Sandra Spivey of Pasco got a beautiful flower arrangement for the first time on May 15, she and her husband Bob thought the blossoms were from a relative or friend.
When another bouquet came the next Friday, the couple started calling family from Alaska to Hawaii to Nebraska to personally thank them.
Sandra Spivey, who has been battling cancer for two years, was emotionally touched and surprised by the flowers.
So when the Lucky Flowers delivery truck pulled up again May 29, Bob Spivey called the Pasco flower shop to do some sleuthing.
"They wouldn't tell me who was sending the flowers," he said.
He told a store employee that he would be content if he could find out which state the unknown benefactor lived in.
The Hanford worker said he was put on hold for a long time before an employee revealed the bouquets came courtesy of the flower store.
Bob Spivey had once gone to the store to buy flowers for his sister who had lost her husband to cancer, and he ended up sharing his wife's story.
What he didn't know was that his story touched a chord with Melissa Behen, co-owner of the Road 68 business.
A few years ago, Behen sent flowers to her best friend's mother-in-law in North Carolina. She had cancer and Behen wanted to cheer her up.
Behen said she wanted to do the same again.
So she looked up the Spiveys' address and made sure fresh arrangements were delivered there each Friday.
It's a small gesture that can brighten somebody's day, she said.
When Bob Spivey found out, he thanked her. "He even brought apple cider for us. Tipped our driver and ordered us a pizza," Behen said.
"Bob wanted to let them know they could stop," said Sandra Spivey, a Richland school teacher who wants to go back to work in February after finishing chemotherapy.
But the flowers kept coming, she said. Each time, it's a different and unique arrangement, she said, adding it makes them feel special.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Welcome to Your New Beginning! by Angie Sierra
Everything in your life happens for a reason, You didn't just so happen to subscribe to these emails and are now continuing to read each word. (Note: I discovered Angie's articles, subscribed and believe they're worthy of sharing)
This is not a coincidence, its all apart of YOUR Journey.
Maybe you're looking for answers or in need of encouraging words, maybe you're looking to change your present life, find balance and move forward.
Or maybe you're one of my supportive friends (which I welcome and
appreciate by the way)Whatever your reasons are, they've lead to this moment...
As you know, we don't live in a perfect world and things aren't always going to go as planned. Running into obstacles and always facing challenges are apart of our lives. The lessons we learn, the sacrifices we take, the emotional roller coaster we face and the negativity we live in, are there to help us Experience, Learn, and Evolve.
Some might ask, "Then how do I deal with it all, especially the stress, challenges and bad situations?"
Its very simple.
The answer:
By Never Giving Up and Thinking Positive No Matter What.
For example lets say you get hurt or were involved in some sort of accident and now your in the hospital. Its OK... Things aren't always what they seem. Maybe you needed to get some rest an take a break, maybe you were moving too fast and needed to slow down, maybe you were headed towards something worse and this had to happen to stop you from going any further. There's always a deeper meaning. You'll see & understand exactly why things happen but only after overcoming the emotional process.
Remember this: Your Greatest Learning Experiences always come from bad situations. let me repeat "Your Greatest Learning Experiences Always Come From Bad Situations".
Accept your problems and solve them as they come. Tell yourself your challenges are temporary and will pass. Ask "What is this experience trying to teach me" or "How can I grow from this setback?". This helps deal with the situation, finding ways to solve, accept and move forward...
You see you're a Powerful Person who can influence and attract more good then bad in your life by Feeding your Mind with Positive Thoughts no matter what. Overcoming our obstacles and gaining knowledge along the way is what its all about.
Take the First Breath, Welcome to Your New Beginning!
P.S I understand many of us have hectic life's but we need time off to work On Ourselves to Create a more Positive Outcome. Having a personal journal to write down any thoughts, dreams, goals, quotes, etc. is a great way to help develop your personal growth. It increases your self-awareness and helps keep you on track. By also writing the exact dates and time, will allow you to go back reflective and analyze where your state of mind was at that moment.
So everyday or at least 2×'s a week set a quiet time for yourself to relax, clear your mind, gather your thoughts and look over your journal. This is the time to Reevaluate your life, make changes and Improvements. To have awareness and clarity, to receive guidelines, hunches, and ideas. (with No distractions)
P.S.S Its also extremely important when receiving an email, you reread that particular email at least 2×'s that week.
A suggestion would be to place your emails in one folder for easy access, by clicking on Move...[New Folder]...then entering a name for your folder...and moving all your emails into that folder. Your new folder will be located on the left hand side underneath My Folders.
The Value Of Learning Is Truly Beyond Words
Have an Amazing Journey!
TrueHealthAndHappiness.com
© Copyright 2009 TrueHealthAndHappiness.com
This is not a coincidence, its all apart of YOUR Journey.
Maybe you're looking for answers or in need of encouraging words, maybe you're looking to change your present life, find balance and move forward.
Or maybe you're one of my supportive friends (which I welcome and
appreciate by the way)Whatever your reasons are, they've lead to this moment...
As you know, we don't live in a perfect world and things aren't always going to go as planned. Running into obstacles and always facing challenges are apart of our lives. The lessons we learn, the sacrifices we take, the emotional roller coaster we face and the negativity we live in, are there to help us Experience, Learn, and Evolve.
Some might ask, "Then how do I deal with it all, especially the stress, challenges and bad situations?"
Its very simple.
The answer:
By Never Giving Up and Thinking Positive No Matter What.
For example lets say you get hurt or were involved in some sort of accident and now your in the hospital. Its OK... Things aren't always what they seem. Maybe you needed to get some rest an take a break, maybe you were moving too fast and needed to slow down, maybe you were headed towards something worse and this had to happen to stop you from going any further. There's always a deeper meaning. You'll see & understand exactly why things happen but only after overcoming the emotional process.
Remember this: Your Greatest Learning Experiences always come from bad situations. let me repeat "Your Greatest Learning Experiences Always Come From Bad Situations".
Accept your problems and solve them as they come. Tell yourself your challenges are temporary and will pass. Ask "What is this experience trying to teach me" or "How can I grow from this setback?". This helps deal with the situation, finding ways to solve, accept and move forward...
You see you're a Powerful Person who can influence and attract more good then bad in your life by Feeding your Mind with Positive Thoughts no matter what. Overcoming our obstacles and gaining knowledge along the way is what its all about.
Take the First Breath, Welcome to Your New Beginning!
P.S I understand many of us have hectic life's but we need time off to work On Ourselves to Create a more Positive Outcome. Having a personal journal to write down any thoughts, dreams, goals, quotes, etc. is a great way to help develop your personal growth. It increases your self-awareness and helps keep you on track. By also writing the exact dates and time, will allow you to go back reflective and analyze where your state of mind was at that moment.
So everyday or at least 2×'s a week set a quiet time for yourself to relax, clear your mind, gather your thoughts and look over your journal. This is the time to Reevaluate your life, make changes and Improvements. To have awareness and clarity, to receive guidelines, hunches, and ideas. (with No distractions)
P.S.S Its also extremely important when receiving an email, you reread that particular email at least 2×'s that week.
A suggestion would be to place your emails in one folder for easy access, by clicking on Move...[New Folder]...then entering a name for your folder...and moving all your emails into that folder. Your new folder will be located on the left hand side underneath My Folders.
The Value Of Learning Is Truly Beyond Words
Have an Amazing Journey!
TrueHealthAndHappiness.com
© Copyright 2009 TrueHealthAndHappiness.com
Suffering From Negative Head-Talk?
Suffering From Negative Head-Talk?
By: Jim Sniechowski and Judith Sherven
Nearly everyone does battle with that pesky voice of self-judgment and sabotaging put-downs that chatters away in our heads.
And, in response to a recent teleseminar we gave titled "The Fear of Being Fabulous" we received a request from a participant who said:
"I would love to hear how you remove the head talk that keeps you from being fabulous. I can get so far and then I'm stopped by my head talk."
Here's our answer . . .
First, you'll know it's Head-Talk by the repetitive, nagging attack on who you are. Your self-respect and self-esteem can end up in the toilet. And you can end up on the edge of . . . well, for us it's sometimes been the pothole from hell.
On the other hand, if you only hear a single reminder or even a reprimand, that's usually your wisdom giving you a heads-up to watch out or correct for behavior that's not in your best interest.
But Negative Head-Talk is relentless once it gets going. Its job is to successfully bring you down and remind you of your "proper" place.
What's "proper" about being put down?
Well, you weren't born turning yourself into a brick of Swiss cheese, with more holes than substance. Right?
Somewhere along your life, probably earlier than later, you were told negative stuff about who you are and what you could accomplish and what you could have and who you could be . . .
Even if you cannot now remember what it was or who said it.
Because if that hadn't happened, there wouldn't be any Negative Scripts in your noggin' that involuntarily blast away at you as Negative Self-Talk.
So, what to do when that destructive force turns on you and fills your head with lies . . .
1) Know they are lies.
2) Remember We're On Your Side and we told you they're lies.
3) Take yourself back to where they came from originally, and see if you can remember who told you those lies, when, and what for...
4) Then notice how, when that Negative Head-Talk takes over, you are still in allegiance to that person and that part of your history.
5) Know that even after you've got hold of its source, when the Negative Self-Talk yammers at you you'll be tempted to side with IT instead of with YOU.
6) So that's when you must practice taking your own side, something you couldn't do when you were younger. But you must practice doing it now.
7) Make the commitment to break your allegiance. This won't happen without fear, pain, and sorrow. And there will be a sense of loss. That's expected and normal.
8) Know that this need to detach from the past is urgent. Because that's the key to your well-being and a fabulous future.
9) Stay away from blame. That just keeps you stuck to the past.And that's just another, less obvious form of your allegiance.
10) Make the commitment to side with your desire. It's your desire that will carve out and light the path to the Positive Head-Talk that you need as your powerful guide and ally.
Now, every time your Negative Head-Talk threatens, you have your own internal arsenal to combat and overcome its power to trash your well-being. With practice you'll see that that voice becomes weaker and less active.
And you will enjoy the freedom to be fabulously alive and loving on your own terms.
For deeper breakthroughs, get Judith & Jim's bonus program "Positive Thinking is NOT Enough". Just go to: http://budurl.com/positivethinkinghww
About the Author:
Judith & Jim are the best-selling authors of five relationship books. Their latest is The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams www.smartweddingcouples.com. To receive Judith & Jim's free tips on making your relationships extraordinary, just go to www.makingtheordinaryextraordinary.com
By: Jim Sniechowski and Judith Sherven
Nearly everyone does battle with that pesky voice of self-judgment and sabotaging put-downs that chatters away in our heads.
And, in response to a recent teleseminar we gave titled "The Fear of Being Fabulous" we received a request from a participant who said:
"I would love to hear how you remove the head talk that keeps you from being fabulous. I can get so far and then I'm stopped by my head talk."
Here's our answer . . .
First, you'll know it's Head-Talk by the repetitive, nagging attack on who you are. Your self-respect and self-esteem can end up in the toilet. And you can end up on the edge of . . . well, for us it's sometimes been the pothole from hell.
On the other hand, if you only hear a single reminder or even a reprimand, that's usually your wisdom giving you a heads-up to watch out or correct for behavior that's not in your best interest.
But Negative Head-Talk is relentless once it gets going. Its job is to successfully bring you down and remind you of your "proper" place.
What's "proper" about being put down?
Well, you weren't born turning yourself into a brick of Swiss cheese, with more holes than substance. Right?
Somewhere along your life, probably earlier than later, you were told negative stuff about who you are and what you could accomplish and what you could have and who you could be . . .
Even if you cannot now remember what it was or who said it.
Because if that hadn't happened, there wouldn't be any Negative Scripts in your noggin' that involuntarily blast away at you as Negative Self-Talk.
So, what to do when that destructive force turns on you and fills your head with lies . . .
1) Know they are lies.
2) Remember We're On Your Side and we told you they're lies.
3) Take yourself back to where they came from originally, and see if you can remember who told you those lies, when, and what for...
4) Then notice how, when that Negative Head-Talk takes over, you are still in allegiance to that person and that part of your history.
5) Know that even after you've got hold of its source, when the Negative Self-Talk yammers at you you'll be tempted to side with IT instead of with YOU.
6) So that's when you must practice taking your own side, something you couldn't do when you were younger. But you must practice doing it now.
7) Make the commitment to break your allegiance. This won't happen without fear, pain, and sorrow. And there will be a sense of loss. That's expected and normal.
8) Know that this need to detach from the past is urgent. Because that's the key to your well-being and a fabulous future.
9) Stay away from blame. That just keeps you stuck to the past.And that's just another, less obvious form of your allegiance.
10) Make the commitment to side with your desire. It's your desire that will carve out and light the path to the Positive Head-Talk that you need as your powerful guide and ally.
Now, every time your Negative Head-Talk threatens, you have your own internal arsenal to combat and overcome its power to trash your well-being. With practice you'll see that that voice becomes weaker and less active.
And you will enjoy the freedom to be fabulously alive and loving on your own terms.
For deeper breakthroughs, get Judith & Jim's bonus program "Positive Thinking is NOT Enough". Just go to: http://budurl.com/positivethinkinghww
About the Author:
Judith & Jim are the best-selling authors of five relationship books. Their latest is The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams www.smartweddingcouples.com. To receive Judith & Jim's free tips on making your relationships extraordinary, just go to www.makingtheordinaryextraordinary.com
Monday, March 23, 2009
Finding Joy In Gridlock Traffic
by Karen Krakower Kaplan
Gratitude is the gentle recognition, rediscovery or "re-remembering" of the simple abundance around you.
It is to be a child again, in awe of a purple crayon.
It is sprinting from your car to the office and stopping your jangled thoughts just long enough to savor the sight of someone holding the elevator door for you, someone you do not even know.
Gratitude is noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary. And then taking the nanosecond to feel it.
But in this adrenaline-driven, multi-tasking frenzy we call Life, how do we have time to stop and smell the roses when we don't even have time to stop for gas?
Easy...
1. Just stop.
To access a sense of wonder, every hour or so, just stop. Just for a moment. Take a breath, wherever you are, and step out of your raging river of thought and look around. Notice the photograph hanging in your cubicle that you put up months ago, but haven't noticed since. Look at each face and recall the one thing about them you couldn't live without. "Re-remember" why you hung the photo in the first place.
2. Freeze-frame it.
"Think about someone, something in your life you loved and freeze-frame the picture," says clinical psychologist Blair Justice, Ph.D., professor-emeritus of psychology at the UT School of Public Health at Houston . "The physical effect on the heart [when overlaid by the emotional heart of loving] is what's called cardiac-coherence."
Everything comes into balance when the physical heart and the emotional heart are, say, beating as one.
"A growing body of research supports the notion that rediscovering a sense of abundance by thinking about those people and things we love lowers the risks of coronary events," Justice offers.
3. Create a gratitude journal.
"The gratitude journal assigns us to look for and record the ordinary wonders that come across our paths," Justice explains.
It may take the form of a gratitude list:
an old friend called you today
your kids cleared the table without a fight
a co-worker walked you through a computer snag
At first you may find yourself listing the "at leasts"
at least my kids aren't starving
at least I have a roof over my head
at least I have two legs
Tapping into a sense of abundance doesn't mean that someone else must have it worse for you to feel better about your lot. Nor does it mean that you can't whine when you're stuck in gridlock traffic.
It simply means that since you are stuck in traffic, you might let your mind surrender to the idea of "found time" with yourself, instead of wasted time in traffic. Found time in a gratitude journal might read, "Someone let me into their lane in gridlock traffic. I waved a 'thank you.' They waved back. It felt good."
4. Replace the words 'at least' with 'even if'.
Feeling a sense of emotional wealth comes from a deep, abiding acknowledgement of the present moment. Let's face it: yesterday is gone. Tomorrow, or even tonight isn't here yet. All we have is right now.
In a gratitude journal you might write, " Even if I am stuck in traffic, I have a fabulous new CD, a half-tank of gas and a glorious sunset in my rearview mirror."
5. Change your lens.
Justice suggests that life can be viewed through a different lens, to gain a fresh perspective. First, try on the wide-angle lens: before you define a moment as bad, negative, hurtful, or simply boring, view the situation broadly, both literally and figuratively. Then flip it to the micro-lens to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, or "the sacred in the profane," says Justice.
Say you have an important meeting that you've just found out requires you to walk several buildings over because there's no parking. This is a surprise to you. Now you're crunched for time, not dressed for a hike, unsure how to get there on foot and worried how your laptop is going to make your bad back feel six blocks later..
Put on the macro lens: in the grand scheme
it doesn't really matter if you're five minutes late
the other attendees are walking, too
a comfortable amble will lower your heart rate before this big meeting
and this irritation will be lost to your memory by dinner tonight
and you'll know just how out of shape you've become
and this will be your wake-up call to start walking every day
Flip it to the micro lens: if you zoom up closely
the grounds to the building are stunning
there's a man feeding a squirrel right out of his hand
the sun on your face feels good
your shoes really were a steal, now that you think about it
You enter the meeting relaxed, refreshed and awake
6. The three questions
Justice practices a gentle daily examination. "At the end of the day, I ask myself three questions."
What has surprised me?
What has touched me?
What has inspired me?
He says that "hard-bitten folks have trouble finding beauty or seeing life anew in a daily way, and their arteries and immune system suffer for it." Answering these three questions inspires us to see the stuff of our days through fresh eyes.
Justice tells the story of a burned-out, jaded heart surgeon who attended a workshop on stress reduction. When asked these three questions, "he rolled his eyes, scoffed at the question and answered, 'Nothing, nothing, nothing, respectively.' "
Justice says that the surgeon was told that he was only seeing the human heart through the eyes of a surgeon, and it was time to see the heart through the eyes of a poet or an artist.
"When he returned to the group, he told how he had tried to change his eyes and for the first time in his career, a patient reached out and hugged him. The physician was floored, and forever changed," Justice recalls.
7. Connect your mind to your body
Studies show that journaling-recalling the day's events-both challenging ones and joyous ones, decreases physical symptoms of pain and illness, "and increases our sense of well being," Justice says.
Research also supports that the frequency of appreciation for the small things and the intensity with which we feel gratitude have an exponential growth potential. It creates a benevolent avalanche: the more often you tap into joy, the more joyous you'll feel, the deeper you'll feel it. The body's immune system and cardiovascular system then reap the benefits.
Sensing gratitude is the simplest possible gift we can give to ourselves that yields the highest possible return on our investment. "Letting ourselves feel that sense of wonder that surrounds us every single minute is what elevates our hearts beyond a mechanical pump and turns them into instruments of love and kindness."
This article is posted at http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=3641a
Gratitude is the gentle recognition, rediscovery or "re-remembering" of the simple abundance around you.
It is to be a child again, in awe of a purple crayon.
It is sprinting from your car to the office and stopping your jangled thoughts just long enough to savor the sight of someone holding the elevator door for you, someone you do not even know.
Gratitude is noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary. And then taking the nanosecond to feel it.
But in this adrenaline-driven, multi-tasking frenzy we call Life, how do we have time to stop and smell the roses when we don't even have time to stop for gas?
Easy...
1. Just stop.
To access a sense of wonder, every hour or so, just stop. Just for a moment. Take a breath, wherever you are, and step out of your raging river of thought and look around. Notice the photograph hanging in your cubicle that you put up months ago, but haven't noticed since. Look at each face and recall the one thing about them you couldn't live without. "Re-remember" why you hung the photo in the first place.
2. Freeze-frame it.
"Think about someone, something in your life you loved and freeze-frame the picture," says clinical psychologist Blair Justice, Ph.D., professor-emeritus of psychology at the UT School of Public Health at Houston . "The physical effect on the heart [when overlaid by the emotional heart of loving] is what's called cardiac-coherence."
Everything comes into balance when the physical heart and the emotional heart are, say, beating as one.
"A growing body of research supports the notion that rediscovering a sense of abundance by thinking about those people and things we love lowers the risks of coronary events," Justice offers.
3. Create a gratitude journal.
"The gratitude journal assigns us to look for and record the ordinary wonders that come across our paths," Justice explains.
It may take the form of a gratitude list:
an old friend called you today
your kids cleared the table without a fight
a co-worker walked you through a computer snag
At first you may find yourself listing the "at leasts"
at least my kids aren't starving
at least I have a roof over my head
at least I have two legs
Tapping into a sense of abundance doesn't mean that someone else must have it worse for you to feel better about your lot. Nor does it mean that you can't whine when you're stuck in gridlock traffic.
It simply means that since you are stuck in traffic, you might let your mind surrender to the idea of "found time" with yourself, instead of wasted time in traffic. Found time in a gratitude journal might read, "Someone let me into their lane in gridlock traffic. I waved a 'thank you.' They waved back. It felt good."
4. Replace the words 'at least' with 'even if'.
Feeling a sense of emotional wealth comes from a deep, abiding acknowledgement of the present moment. Let's face it: yesterday is gone. Tomorrow, or even tonight isn't here yet. All we have is right now.
In a gratitude journal you might write, " Even if I am stuck in traffic, I have a fabulous new CD, a half-tank of gas and a glorious sunset in my rearview mirror."
5. Change your lens.
Justice suggests that life can be viewed through a different lens, to gain a fresh perspective. First, try on the wide-angle lens: before you define a moment as bad, negative, hurtful, or simply boring, view the situation broadly, both literally and figuratively. Then flip it to the micro-lens to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, or "the sacred in the profane," says Justice.
Say you have an important meeting that you've just found out requires you to walk several buildings over because there's no parking. This is a surprise to you. Now you're crunched for time, not dressed for a hike, unsure how to get there on foot and worried how your laptop is going to make your bad back feel six blocks later..
Put on the macro lens: in the grand scheme
it doesn't really matter if you're five minutes late
the other attendees are walking, too
a comfortable amble will lower your heart rate before this big meeting
and this irritation will be lost to your memory by dinner tonight
and you'll know just how out of shape you've become
and this will be your wake-up call to start walking every day
Flip it to the micro lens: if you zoom up closely
the grounds to the building are stunning
there's a man feeding a squirrel right out of his hand
the sun on your face feels good
your shoes really were a steal, now that you think about it
You enter the meeting relaxed, refreshed and awake
6. The three questions
Justice practices a gentle daily examination. "At the end of the day, I ask myself three questions."
What has surprised me?
What has touched me?
What has inspired me?
He says that "hard-bitten folks have trouble finding beauty or seeing life anew in a daily way, and their arteries and immune system suffer for it." Answering these three questions inspires us to see the stuff of our days through fresh eyes.
Justice tells the story of a burned-out, jaded heart surgeon who attended a workshop on stress reduction. When asked these three questions, "he rolled his eyes, scoffed at the question and answered, 'Nothing, nothing, nothing, respectively.' "
Justice says that the surgeon was told that he was only seeing the human heart through the eyes of a surgeon, and it was time to see the heart through the eyes of a poet or an artist.
"When he returned to the group, he told how he had tried to change his eyes and for the first time in his career, a patient reached out and hugged him. The physician was floored, and forever changed," Justice recalls.
7. Connect your mind to your body
Studies show that journaling-recalling the day's events-both challenging ones and joyous ones, decreases physical symptoms of pain and illness, "and increases our sense of well being," Justice says.
Research also supports that the frequency of appreciation for the small things and the intensity with which we feel gratitude have an exponential growth potential. It creates a benevolent avalanche: the more often you tap into joy, the more joyous you'll feel, the deeper you'll feel it. The body's immune system and cardiovascular system then reap the benefits.
Sensing gratitude is the simplest possible gift we can give to ourselves that yields the highest possible return on our investment. "Letting ourselves feel that sense of wonder that surrounds us every single minute is what elevates our hearts beyond a mechanical pump and turns them into instruments of love and kindness."
This article is posted at http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=3641a
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Where are you? "Stop rushing through life. Live it instead."
Where are you?
"Stop rushing through life. Live it instead."
by Cheryl Richardson
"We do less by the very quality of our being. We must be completely present for what we are doing, without sacrificing or rushing what's in front of us in order to get to 'more important' stuff later. No matter how mundane the activity, treat everything as important and take pleasure in it. At bottom, whatever we are doing right now is what we are engaged in and it deserves our full attention and appreciation."
I read this passage in a new book called, "Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less", by Marc Lesser. I had been sent the manuscript in the hopes of providing a testimonial but, at the time, I had too many books in the cue and couldn't commit. So, I put the manuscript on top of a pile in my office and forgot about it.
One day, when I was feeling particularly frenzied, I picked up the book and went into my sunroom to have a look. I was immediately taken by the simple, elegant writing style, the obvious wisdom in the author's experience, and the good, common sense advice.
The passage above held a clue as to why I was feeling so frenzied, and Marc's suggestion to "treat everything as important and take pleasure in it," made me stop and think about how I was operating in my life.
How often are you engaged in a task while focused on another activity that needs to get done at the very same time? I soon discovered that I was doing it constantly. I'd be folding laundry or emptying the dishwasher, for instance, while at the same time ruminating about the number of emails that still needed a reply. Or, I'd be answering emails, while feeling distracted by a writing deadline that had to be met in short order. I was perpetually rushing through my life rather than living it. And, the tension of doing one thing while focused on the need to do another, left me feeling exhausted and irritable. It's no wonder. I was missing out on my life.
After reading more about this concept in Marc's book, I immediately put his wisdom into action. When I was feeding my cat, Poupon, I listened with tenderness to his excited meows, felt the can in my hand, and heard the fork scrape against the bowl as I placed the food in its center. If I were writing at my desk, I felt the keys under my fingers, focused my attention on the page, and allowed myself to get lost in the words. No more "body in one place, mind in another." I was engaged in the practice of actually being present for my life. Pretty soon I did, in fact, find myself taking pleasure in the task at hand. And I actually got more done, felt energized, and became a whole lot better to be around :).
Marc's one, simple piece of advice has made a significant difference in the quality of life, and I invite you to give it a try this week. Follow the "Take Action Challenge," and get back to actually experiencing the joy of your life rather than rushing through it.
Take Action Challenge
This week, I encourage you to do two things:
1. Simply notice where your mind is while engaged in an activity. You might be reading emails, watching TV, listening to a friend, or working on a project at your desk. Are you present for the task at hand? Or are you thinking about something else that needs to get done? Just bring awareness to your behavior without judging it.
2. Next, gently bring your mind back to the present activity by saying something like:
"I choose to be fully engaged in this activity right now."
Then, use your senses to ground yourself in the present moment. What do you feel with your body? What do you hear or see? What can you taste or smell?
You'll know you're getting it when you feel yourself slowing down, relaxing, and breathing more deeply and fully. Then, wait for the moments of joy to come - the experience of realizing that this very moment is actually the best time of your life, regardless of what you're doing :).
http://cherylrichardson.com
"Stop rushing through life. Live it instead."
by Cheryl Richardson
"We do less by the very quality of our being. We must be completely present for what we are doing, without sacrificing or rushing what's in front of us in order to get to 'more important' stuff later. No matter how mundane the activity, treat everything as important and take pleasure in it. At bottom, whatever we are doing right now is what we are engaged in and it deserves our full attention and appreciation."
I read this passage in a new book called, "Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less", by Marc Lesser. I had been sent the manuscript in the hopes of providing a testimonial but, at the time, I had too many books in the cue and couldn't commit. So, I put the manuscript on top of a pile in my office and forgot about it.
One day, when I was feeling particularly frenzied, I picked up the book and went into my sunroom to have a look. I was immediately taken by the simple, elegant writing style, the obvious wisdom in the author's experience, and the good, common sense advice.
The passage above held a clue as to why I was feeling so frenzied, and Marc's suggestion to "treat everything as important and take pleasure in it," made me stop and think about how I was operating in my life.
How often are you engaged in a task while focused on another activity that needs to get done at the very same time? I soon discovered that I was doing it constantly. I'd be folding laundry or emptying the dishwasher, for instance, while at the same time ruminating about the number of emails that still needed a reply. Or, I'd be answering emails, while feeling distracted by a writing deadline that had to be met in short order. I was perpetually rushing through my life rather than living it. And, the tension of doing one thing while focused on the need to do another, left me feeling exhausted and irritable. It's no wonder. I was missing out on my life.
After reading more about this concept in Marc's book, I immediately put his wisdom into action. When I was feeding my cat, Poupon, I listened with tenderness to his excited meows, felt the can in my hand, and heard the fork scrape against the bowl as I placed the food in its center. If I were writing at my desk, I felt the keys under my fingers, focused my attention on the page, and allowed myself to get lost in the words. No more "body in one place, mind in another." I was engaged in the practice of actually being present for my life. Pretty soon I did, in fact, find myself taking pleasure in the task at hand. And I actually got more done, felt energized, and became a whole lot better to be around :).
Marc's one, simple piece of advice has made a significant difference in the quality of life, and I invite you to give it a try this week. Follow the "Take Action Challenge," and get back to actually experiencing the joy of your life rather than rushing through it.
Take Action Challenge
This week, I encourage you to do two things:
1. Simply notice where your mind is while engaged in an activity. You might be reading emails, watching TV, listening to a friend, or working on a project at your desk. Are you present for the task at hand? Or are you thinking about something else that needs to get done? Just bring awareness to your behavior without judging it.
2. Next, gently bring your mind back to the present activity by saying something like:
"I choose to be fully engaged in this activity right now."
Then, use your senses to ground yourself in the present moment. What do you feel with your body? What do you hear or see? What can you taste or smell?
You'll know you're getting it when you feel yourself slowing down, relaxing, and breathing more deeply and fully. Then, wait for the moments of joy to come - the experience of realizing that this very moment is actually the best time of your life, regardless of what you're doing :).
http://cherylrichardson.com
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Emotional independence
Emotional independence
by Paulo Coelho
“At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?”
The above words were said by the present Dalai Lama. Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings.
There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes).
We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my wife, my friends and my publishers. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword.
Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection.
But I cannot get addicted to that.
Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others.
Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light.
In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true?
I began this column quoting a Nobel Peace Prize winner about the importance of human relationships. I am ending with Professor Albert Schweitzer, physician and missionary, who received the same Nobel prize in 1952.
"All of us know a disease in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we need to know is that there is a similar disease that attacks the soul – and which is very dangerous, because it catches us without being noticed. When you notice the slightest sign of indifference and lack of enthusiasm for your similar, be on the alert!”
"The only way to take precautions against this disease is to understand that the soul suffers, and suffers a lot, when we make it live superficially. The soul likes things that are beautiful and profound”.
http://www.warriorofthelight.com/
by Paulo Coelho
“At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?”
The above words were said by the present Dalai Lama. Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings.
There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes).
We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my wife, my friends and my publishers. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword.
Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection.
But I cannot get addicted to that.
Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others.
Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light.
In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true?
I began this column quoting a Nobel Peace Prize winner about the importance of human relationships. I am ending with Professor Albert Schweitzer, physician and missionary, who received the same Nobel prize in 1952.
"All of us know a disease in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we need to know is that there is a similar disease that attacks the soul – and which is very dangerous, because it catches us without being noticed. When you notice the slightest sign of indifference and lack of enthusiasm for your similar, be on the alert!”
"The only way to take precautions against this disease is to understand that the soul suffers, and suffers a lot, when we make it live superficially. The soul likes things that are beautiful and profound”.
http://www.warriorofthelight.com/
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